Patio,
Two years after I moved to Michigan, I had a herniated disc at L4-5, which blew when I was out of state. I had to be transported home flat on my back in a van and the out-of-state dr. told me COMPLETE bed rest for 15 days. (Later, my neurosurgeon told me I probably should have had surgery right then and there, but that's another story.)
The congregation "love-bombed" me. Meals for the duration and two sisters came and cleaned my house from top to bottom (no mean feat! --
it's large with lots of bathrooms).
Three years later, when I actually had back SURGERY with a 4-6 week convalescence this is what happened: My best friend (sister) came to the hospital with flowers and a card, visited me at home twice and phoned almost daily.
(NOTE: My [non-JW] mother-in-law came for the first two weeks to take care of me, my husband and my four kids)
Another sister stopped by one day with a plant and a card.
I got a card from one or two others and a call from the PO about 3 weeks through.
Nobody even OFFERED to cook or clean -- though I probably would not have accepted the meals, cleaning my bathrooms for me, perhaps, as bending over was really difficult (still is some days!) would have been nice once my m-in-law was gone. Also, vacuuming is really difficult for one with lower back surgery. (Dusting, laundry and meal prep could all be done in stages.)
I was still an active witness, Sister Always Prepared, and it was NOT nice. What had changed? Nothing but attitude. It was an eye-opener.
outnfree