(Old news now, I know - but it made me snigger! p.s. before you ask, most are based on UK TV shows)
06.00 - Morning Prayers
07.30 - "The Rock 'n Roll Years 629 AD" - A look back at the events of the last year, including the execution of 2,300 dissidents and theopening of a new French oil refinery.
08.00 - FILM: "Saddambusters" - Dramatisation of the glorious 1991 Iraqi victory in Kuwait.
09.30 - "Have I Got Genocide For You" - Celebrities make weapons of mass destruction out of everyday objects.
10.00 - "Holiday" - The team check out nice places for the Saddam family to retire. Featuring: North Korea, Rhodesia and France.
10.30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
11.30 - "Tomorrow's World" - New torture inventions for scientists who refuse to make nuclear bombs.
12.00 - "Green Peter" - The total amount of smallpox virus bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed. Also - three ways to burn a
flag, and how to make a President Bush effigy.
12.30 - "Only Fools and Camels" - Dhal-Boy offloads some dodgy French rocket-launchers to a bloke from Hamas.
13.30 - "Koranation Street" - Deirdrie faces execution by cat o'nine tails for being a shiite. Benny is hung upside-down for being homosexual.
14.00 - "Question Time" - Members of the public face awkward questions from the Secret Service.
15.00 - "Allah McBeal"
15.30 - "You've Bin Ladened" - Amusing footage shot secretly in Iraq's prisons. The film-makers were also secretly shot.
16.00 - "Middle-East Enders" - The entire cast is beheaded for not saluting when Saddam comes on the telly.
16.30 - "Sadd's Army" - The Basra-on-Sea home guard repel another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels. Fraser has his willy hacked off for stealing some of Corporal Jones's sausages.
17.00 - "Wheel of Terror"
17.30 - "Talitubbies" - Dipsy and Tinky-Winky make nerve-gas.
18.00 - FILM: "Saddam's Angels" - The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to bring democracy and free speech to Iraq.
19.30 - "Big Brother" - Who will be taken to Baghdad and executed this week?
20.30 - "Xena: Modestly Dressed Housewife" - Xena stays at home in a mask and does some housework.
21.30 - "Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer".
22.30 - "The Sky At Night" - What to see in the Iraqi night sky during March: including B52 Bombers, Stealth Fighters and Cruise Missiles