Welcome to the board! It took me a long time to get over that same feeling. But the best advice for me was "fake it till you make". Positive thinking has such a HUGE bearing on how we picture ourselves. No matter what ANYONE says, your relationship with Christ is yours and yours alone. I'm thrilled that you've had the courage to make the necessary (and healthy) changes in your life. It's scary for sure, but years later you'll be so grateful for it! I've been out 13 years and happier and more emotionally adjusted than I've ever been. Stick around. I've learned SO MUCH here and I've made some really good friends in the meantime.
I live in a fairly large city (1.2 million) and we moved to the other side of town shortly after I DA'd myself. Before we moved I had run into 2 or 3 sisters who didn't know that I had DA'd, and, because I didn't want to get them into trouble for talking to me, I told them what I had done. Soon after that we moved, and I haven't even had a JW knock on my door in 9 years. Just keep your chin up and remember you are the daughter of the King (Jesus).
Glad you're here. BORG means the collective group of JW's, many of whom think like drones, mindlessly giving up their thinking powers to let the Watchtower Society do all their thinking and deciding for them! You can think of it as short for B-org (Brooklyn organization), in other words, a bunch of doddering old men who are out of touch with reality who affect life-and-death decisions of millions of people who hang on their every word.
As far as the "feeling you may be wrong for leaving" thing, it's just a phase. Keep reading this site and www.freeminds.org for experiences of good people who left or are staying away from the Borg for reasons of conscience. You also would do well to read "Crisis of Conscience" by former Governing Body member Raymond Franz. You will be stunned at the duplicitious decision-making process and the absolute hypocritical nature of the WTS organization behind-the-scenes. You can order this book from the publisher www.commentarypress.com or from bookstore websites.
Best wishes and hope you hang around here a while!
