What was the funniest counsel/encouragement you rec'd from an elder ???

by run dont walk 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • ballistic

    Wow, there's some crazy stuff there!

    Well the craziest thing I got told was that 5 pints is too much. He used the example of tea, stating that "you wouldn't drink 5 pints of tea".

    hmmmm. Nope! I wouldn't drink 5 pints of tea!

  • termite 35
  • ozziepost

    The safest place in the congregation is in the middle.

    Pity the poor suckers on the perimeter, eh?

  • ballistic

    Yeah, ozzie, like I turned up at Englishman's BBQ and found elders, pioneers, anointed, ministerial servants, etc. Either people on the outskirts never make it to this web site or Satan doesn't bother with them!

  • Faraon


    I think Tampax too are pagan- probably something to do with the blood issue..

    I think you're right- it's a jw thing- it dos'nt matter what age girls use them- it's the 'proof of virginity' madness that the jw's worry about around here....

    Sorry, I must've missed your answer to me.

    Wow, I would consider, because of the picture you sent, the Morris Dance to be a folkloric dance. I'd love to see one in real life. I wonder if these people really have any idea originating from their own brains, or if anything must come from the collective.

    Love your comments on the Tampax issue too

    Blood issue ROFLOL

    When will people learn that virginity STDs only works if both parties are virgin. That OT law is one of the most stupid ones I've heard of. I think this was to keep women of sports. They were afraid of rupturing their hymen.

    Talking about injustices, How come there is no mention about men being virgins or getting rejected in marriage?


  • termite 35
    termite 35
    Talking of injusticies, How come there is no mention about men being virgins or getting rejected in marriage?

    I think there are so few jw men to go around , the desperates will take any jw man that's breathing.

    I remember being told that whatever anyone had done prior to baptism; when they were accepted into God's congregation they were 'clean', even if they had slept around.Fair enough, but as this person was going to marry a man who had come into the congregation (who'd lead a colourful life of excess prior to that) ;I mentioned that perhaps an aids test would be a good idea - she did'nt think that was necessary- very odd behaviour; almost as if she thought that new 'spiritual cleanliness' = miraculous physical perfection !

  • Gwydion

    I was approached one time by "elders wife". She showed me some watchtower (it may have been an awake) article from the early sixties. It seems she overheard me talking about playing chess and well as the article tells us "christians" should not play chess because it has pagan Persian origins and it emulates war.

  • WildHorses
    I was counseled b/c my head was "shaved".... the elders thought that I looked like a skinhead! I sure didn't listen to them about that one......

    I guess it depends on where you live because, at the Millbrook KH a younger elder(Brother Dale) always kept his hair no longer than an 8th of an inch long.

  • Sabine

    Some of the stupidest counsel I got was inspired by jealous elder's wives...

    One elder (whose wife was very overweight and constantly asking me how much weight I was losing) actually called me into the back room and told me to stop my diet and exercise immediately...I was obviously becoming anorexic...at 130 lbs, come on! She would poop her pants if she saw me now, cause I'm a buff 116lbs now, and a personal trainer.

  • ballistic

    Sabine, that is typical them pulling in a good looking woman for that, can you imagine them stopping my diet after I lost so much?

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