Sister Singlemomohsopoor sounds a lot like my mum except for the Aux Pioneering, home Bible study and tattling, although she does gossip.
And Brother Fartzdontstink describes several people in my congregation. They all have brand new $40K cars and huge entertainment systems and mysteriously seem to have time to attend every meeting and field service and whatever else they may be doing, including conduct meetings and hold bible studies at their house.
I have a couple of my own:
Brother Hobo: Doesn't appear to have a home, comes to meetings in a suit, although doesn't appear to have bathed in months. Is believed to attend meetings only to receive free meals from Brother and Sister Giving.
Young brother/sister Getmeoutofhere: Usually the small children who aren't related in any way to an elder who obviously don't want to sit still in a chair for two hours. They'll sometimes start talking loudly or cry, and can often be found lying on the floor, digging through bookbags or poking peoples' butts thru the cracks in the back of the seats. Sometimes taken outside and slapped around.
Sister Busybody: Always knows all the details of everyone's personal lives and spreads it around like the flu. Homely as hell and likes to invite everyone out in the ministry, particularly the children of Sister Singlemomohsopoor. Often searches you out and forces you to converse with her so she can know more about your personal life and tell it to others.
Sister Candyeater: Noticably eats candy through-out the entire meeting. Can always be heard unwrapping loudly and slowly.