Just got these jokes in an e-mail hehehehe

by WildHorses 3 Replies latest social humour

  • WildHorses

    This is hilarious. I wish I had the guts of this girl.
    For all of you out there who've had to deal with an
    irate customer, this one is for you. It's a classic!
    An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent
    in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her
    point when confronted with a passenger who probably
    deserved to fly as cargo.
    A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A
    single agent was rebooking a long line of
    inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger
    pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on
    the! counter and said "I HAVE to be on this flight and
    it has to be FIRST CLASS."
    The agent replied, "I am sorry, sir. I'll be happy to
    try to help you, but I've got to help these folks
    first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something
    out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly,
    so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU
    Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her
    public address microphone, "May I have your attention
    please, " she began, her voice heard clearly
    throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at
    Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can
    help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

    With the folks behind him in line laughing
    hysterically, the man glared at the United agent,
    gritted his teeth and swore "F*** You!". Without
    flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but
    you'll have to get in line for that too".

    A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith
    for advice about breast enlargements.
    He tells her, "Every day when you get out of
    the shower, rub the top of your nipples and
    say, Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger
    She did this faithfully every day and after
    several months, it worked! She grew great
    One morning she was running late and in her
    rush to leave for work, she realized she'd
    forgotten her morning ritual. She lovedher

    new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so
    she got up in the middle of the bus and said,

    "Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies."
    A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to
    Dr. Smith by any chance?"

    Why, yes, I do. How did you know?"
    "Hickory dickory dock..."

    A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?". The lady say's "To kill my husband." "I can't sell you any for that reason" says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a women in a compromising position; the man is her husband and the lady is the druggist's wife, and shows it to the druggist. He looks at the photo and says" Oh, I didn't know you had a prescription!"

  • Nikita

    I enjoyed those!


  • Aztec

    Hickory dickory dock... Rofl!

    Very cute!


  • Brummie


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