This is hilarious. I wish I had the guts of this girl.
For all of you out there who've had to deal with an
irate customer, this one is for you. It's a classic!
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent
in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her
point when confronted with a passenger who probably
deserved to fly as cargo.
A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A
single agent was rebooking a long line of
inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger
pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on
the! counter and said "I HAVE to be on this flight and
it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I am sorry, sir. I'll be happy to
try to help you, but I've got to help these folks
first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something
out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly,
so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU
HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her
public address microphone, "May I have your attention
please, " she began, her voice heard clearly
throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at
Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can
help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."
With the folks behind him in line laughing
hysterically, the man glared at the United agent,
gritted his teeth and swore "F*** You!". Without
flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but
you'll have to get in line for that too".
A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith
for advice about breast enlargements.
He tells her, "Every day when you get out of
the shower, rub the top of your nipples and
say, Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger
She did this faithfully every day and after
several months, it worked! She grew great
One morning she was running late and in her
rush to leave for work, she realized she'd
forgotten her morning ritual. She lovedher
new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so
she got up in the middle of the bus and said,
"Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies."
A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to
Dr. Smith by any chance?"
Why, yes, I do. How did you know?"
"Hickory dickory dock..."
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?". The lady say's "To kill my husband." "I can't sell you any for that reason" says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a women in a compromising position; the man is her husband and the lady is the druggist's wife, and shows it to the druggist. He looks at the photo and says" Oh, I didn't know you had a prescription!"