Witness Kids and Disfellowshipped Parents

by tergiversator 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  GinnyTosken

  Tergiversator,

  I very much enjoyed reading your story.

  Growing up, my father was a baptized JW, but my mother was not, even though she believed most of it and attended meetings and assemblies. She never gave up her ciggies, and whenever anything went wrong at home, we all blamed Mom for dragging the demons in on us with those long red fingernails and Pall Malls.

  Whenever Mom and Dad argued, I always sided with Dad. After all, he was clearly the good one, the one who would survive Armageddon.

  As an adult I apologized to my mom for painting her black all those years. It was so unfair. I'm not sure how she stood it, being branded a demon by her whole family whenever she disagreed.

  When I began finding out the truth about Jehovah's Witnesses beliefs, Mom was willing to listen; Dad would not hear a word. My sisters have let go of the beliefs to varying degrees, and I'm the one now demonized by Dad for luring the others away from the Truth. I guess I'll have to start painting my fingernails red.

  Ginny
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  tergiversator

  (That'll teach me to post something and then get busy with homework; I found this thread buried on page 5. Good thing for the board outage or else it would have been much farther down... I'm not ignoring you, honest!)

  Waiting, sorry to hear about your difficulties with your son (which I presume have gotten better now?). I like your idea about sending joke cards back and forth, though I'm not sure it'd work with my mom. The last couple of times I've seen her, when I've been down in the area for other reasons, she's been very friendly and things seemed eerily normal... but it's difficult to keep sending postcards and chatty emails and letters when I almost never get anything back in kind. It doesn't help that I get really busy with school and sometimes discover, to my amazement, that I've lost track of a few weeks or months. Oh well; things may improve with time...

  LovesDubs, you're probably right about that "undercurrent of sadness". I've been kind of surprised how, even now, a year and a half after the other shoe fell, it hits me sometimes. All those "what if's" about the past... I was once told (with reference to dating, but perfectly applicable elsewhere), that everyone needs to have their heart broken once, to prove that it's not the end of the world and that you can survive and thrive in spite of it. The breaking part still hurts though.

  Loves (The Borg has Lost Its BEST Class)

  
  Yep, that's what I always think. There are an incredible amount of intelligent, compassionate, funny, articulate, friendly people online - sometimes amazing to think they were once 'dubs. Also more than a little sad for the people who are left behind.

  Mommy, it's always good to know that it's not just the "bad kids" who skip out of the org. It's so wonderful to not be miserably faithful anymore... Thanks for your encouragement .

  Ginny, better break out the red nail polish . I know exactly what you mean, about blaming the non-loyal-witness parent for everything under the sun, at least indirectly. My dad and I get along much better now...