Are YOU Shunned By JW Family or Friends?

by minimus 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • jwundubbed

    I am neither DF'd nor DA'd. My younger sister started a rumor about me when I was about 18-20 and half my family shunned me just because of that. Still to this day I have no idea what the rumor actually was and yet my family is still shunning me.

    At best I would be considered inactive.

    Around 2014 the JWs were making a big push to shun inactive loved ones to show them the error of their ways. My mom decided to shun my elder sister and I (but not our younger brother who went so far as to join the Navy to get out of the JWs) but she waited 3-4 months so that she could tell me she was shunning me on the day of my graduation from college. Great gal, my mom.

    I told her not to bother ever changing her mind because I would never forgive her for that and she was dead to me from then on. Still... I've never been officially kicked out or officially left the cult and yet I'm shunned anyway. I know that my mother and younger sister use the cult practice to A.) try to manipulate people and B.) excuse their awful behaviors. But the rest of the family is just operating without any proof or reason.

    It isn't loving and shunning me will only ever make me see that I made the right choice to leave. That was the least error-like move I ever made.

  • Alex Bogdanov
    Alex Bogdanov

    I am not dfed, but the majority of my relatives and jws avoid me. I stopped going to the meetings and when so called brothers and sisters asked me why I respond that for me there is no difference between Babylon the great and the Organisation. Both are fraud. But I always wish them good luck on their spiritual career. I find it funny how offended they get. JWs depend on human opinion to much. Thats why they avoid everyone and stay amongst themselves to convince each other that they are important. 😂

  • punkofnice

    Yes and I'm over it now. If they don't want to talk to me then they can go and do the other.

    I no longer care about small minded bigots.

  • blownaway

    I moved from my home town 50% because I was shunned even though I was not DFed. I was considered apostate. 50% because in North Michigan its way too damn cold and too much snow. Screw that crap. My cousins would look at me like I just kicked their mother in the crotch. Just don't need this crap.

  • StephaneLaliberte

    I`m a fadder, so, not officially. However, I still lost all of my friends and my extended family that are in. So, it is not full fled shunning, but it is some shunning none the less.

  • Sail Away
    Sail Away

    I guess I would go with ToesUp's soft shunned. When I cross paths with the locals, including elders, former COBE and MSs, they are warm and chatty (with the exception of one former elderette b*tch). That said none of them initiate contact. This hurts the most coming from one especially dear former "friend".

    It's all a little strange. I walked away in 2011. I am clearly on the Do Not Call List at my adamant request-- no contact for official congregation business. Ever. I wrote a letter of resignation threatening to sue their sorry asses if they made an announcement from the platform, so not officially DF'd or DA'd as far as I can tell.

    I sent my letter of resignation to the secretaries of two local congregations I attended. Not sure if I would greet them should we meet. One is the elder that led the hit squad to DF my son. I might have a few choice words for him. Hypocritical, self-righteous b*stard comes to mind.

    My husband's parents shunned him (and by proxy me and our children) for most of his adult life-- necessary family business only. He was neither DF'd or DA'd. Faded before we knew what that meant.

    Now that my MIL died and my FIL is rapidly declining, my husband has daily contact with him by phone. His father lives 500 miles away and has been targeted by a scam artist. We are trying to protect him, but he is stubborn and won't listen to his son, lawyer or accountant. We have hired a lawyer to advise us, and my husband travels out to see his father about every other month.

  • joe134cd

    Although I have never been DF / DA, and to a point have stated my position to my father. I have never yet been shunned to the point of been ignored. Although I must admit the family dynamic has changed. I still keep in touch with my JW relatives, and my father offered for me to sit in on his shepherding call. I was nearly going to take him up on his offer but thought better of it in avoiding a JC. I realise I am better off than most and it's a fine line I walk. I realise the oil that lubricates my family relations is dependent on keeping my mouth shut. This has been my position for 5 years and I'm happy with the status quo.

  • truth_b_known


    I had very low attendance before leaving. Maybe one meet a month. I notice at the very tail end friends in the congregation would not talk to me at meetings.

    Shortly after that I moved out of state. I talk with my father maybe twice a year on the phone. I haven't spoken to my mother in about 10 years. My sister will take my calls, but doesn't try to maintain a relationship. Her husband was my best friend for about 20 years. We never talk. I talk to my brother occasionally, though he hasn't been active either for years.

  • StainedGlassHeart

    Completely shunned here by entire family and everyone I ever knew who was a JW. No DF or DA. I started attending another place of worship and that led to it, so in a way I guess I unofficially DAed myself.

  • alecholmesthedetective

    I preemptively shun JW family and friends since dropping out of the map. Like many I had run-ins with the elders but I've never met with any of them anywhere, not even when one tried to lure me for a coffee in a public place. I just totally left. After six years I'm sure they know I'm not going back, even if I had been a regular pioneer and when I left was still a ministerial servant.

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