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jurs

Hi! I've been a witness for 6 years. When a sweet pioneer sister came to my door and I started studying I never thought I would become a witness. 21/2 years of studying I did get baptized. I thought it was the "truth". In fact I never doubted. I never went to "apostate sites". Our household was a divided one, my husband was an unbeliever but not opposed. This last year I've missed alot of meetings and I found that I didn't want to go but then I'd feel guilty and go to meetings based on guilt and fear of not having everlasting life. Very rercently I started questioning myself. For example I never felt comfortable with filling out my "time" for field service. Why do I have to wear a dress? What is so bad about Thanksgiving? I feel loaded down with rules. My two daughter always ask Can I do this? And I say no but in my heart I don't really see anything wrong with playing basketball or gymnastics. Today was the first time I've looked into the forbidden web sites. I felt ill when I read "gray areas" I heard about smurfs, trolls running down kingdom halls but I thought it was just one weird sister. I heard about garage sales, again i dismissed it as a strange sister. I do believe now that the "truth if it really is the truth should be able to to stand up against what others say. I don't think I can ever go back to a kingdom hall again. I feel like I was brain washed and Just 2 weeks ago I felt so differently. It feels good having a plkace to express how I feel to people who understand....JURS

waiting

Hello - and welcome - jurs,

I do believe now that the "truth if it really is the truth should be able to to stand up against what others say

Ain't that the truth. You know, if you and your husband love each other, you should be able to hear the truth about each other, and if someone comes to you with a problem about your husband, whatever, it won't break your love for him to listen to the problem.

There may be a problem in reality - but learning about it is not the problem. It may be fixable, but learning about your husband won't break your love for him.

Perhaps this fits the WTBTS. If they have "the truth" - then learning about them, and the Bible, from people who are/have been jw's, and historians, anthropologists, teachers, all kinds of people, well, learning more about your religion will not break your religion - if it is "the truth."

Most religions are smart enough to say "all roads lead to God" or something like - giving room for others and error. Not the WTBTS. The advertise themselves as "God's Only Channel to Mankind." Big shoes to fill.

I'm a jw woman for 30 years now, inactive by choice, along with my husband. Been reading all kinds of books, not just suspense novels. Read about history, evolution, science, Bible, Dead Sea Scrolls - all with varying viewpoints.

On this forum, you - as a jw woman- can speak with equality to any man. If the discussion leans your way, you've made a good point. If it leans to the man's way - it's not because you're inferior, just gotta prove your point better next time. What a delicious freedom!

Enjoy. Oh, and enjoy your children and hopefully let them enjoy some things in life. I spent 30 years telling my kids, "no, can't do ....., can't do......, can't do......."

waiting

poohbear1962

Jurs,

Welcome!! I just recently joined myself!! :-) I was referred to this site by a DA'd friend that I still communicate with (goes by the name of "rob" on here), and I am quie thankful!! It's very theraputic to read and share experiences, especially since we are "encouraged" not to talk about doubts, question, etc with other JWs. Really kinda odd, since (and you will hear this often) "if it's REALLY the truth, it SHOULD stand up to scrutiny"!!! Again, welcome!!

Take care!!

Pooh

jurs

I Have some questions that hopefully someone can answer. If I start celebrating (which I plan too.) will I be disfellowshipped? If I write a letter saying I no longer believe certain things and dissassociate myself will I be treated as someone disfellowshipped? I want to know what to expect when brothers and sisters find out that I no longer believe like I use to.

neyank

Hi jurs,
Welcome to our humble little group.
Many of us have been in the same position as you.
Never questioning the WTS.
Always following along even if we didn't believe what we were being told .

You are right.
The truth should be able to stand up against what others say.

Keep on questioning and learning.

And yes. You will be df'd if you start celebrating holidays or birthdays.
And yes. If you disassociate you will be treated as someone that is df'd.
If the "brothers" and "sisters" find out you don't believe like you use to, many
will snub you.
That's all part of the control the WTS has over their followers.

But don't worry.
You can question anything you like here and we won't snub you.

neyank

Gopher

Jurs,

Welcome to the board! Stretch your wings here, enjoy the freedom!

You ask some good questions in your first post about things that are disallowed. As you probably realize, a lot of these beliefs are based on what imperfect men have decided the doctrine "should" be, rather than on the Bible.

As Neyank says, you'll certainly be branded as an outcast if you write any letter stating your different views. Such differences cannot be tolerated in a society where absolute, lockstep unity is a requirement. (Remember, "happy Christian unity" is the most important thing, whether or not the united view makes sense.....)

Rather than disassociating, you might consider what "Waiting" has done, simply to fade away, to go away by choice rather than by official congregation sanction. There's pros and cons to disassociating, just something to think about. If you fade away, certainly any friends you have in the organization will begin to notice and may either (1) isolate themselves from you or (2) try to bring you "back to your senses", as they say. After all, JW friendship is highly conditional, based on how "spiritual" you currently appear to be.

Well best wishes for you. Please hang around here, and let us know how things are going. Personally, I have found more unconditional acceptance out here in 2 months than I did back in the "organization" in many years.....

Gopher

Skimmer

Hello jurs, and welcome to the discussion board.

People were not designed to live in fear or with guilt. Yet so many allow themselves to be motivated by these and so be mind controlled by the WTBTS organization for years or decades.

Many posters to this board rightly condemn the WTBTS as a cult that tries to bleed away any sense of individuality among its members. Less frequently heard are the comments that the members themselves also have some of the blame for allowing themselves to be controlled.

The key question that all JWs should ask themselves: Is the WTBTS God's One And Only True Channel? Think of the 120 years WTBTS history of false prophecies (1874, 1914, 1918, 1925, 1975, etc), crank science (e.g., dinosaurs and men lived at the same time), quack health claims (e.g., bans on vaccinations, transplants, transfusions), ever changing doctrine (too numerous to mention), dubious revelation sources (e.g., support for chronology from pyramid measurements), brainwashing (the only questsions a JW can safely ask are the ones printed in the study articles), and total lack of humility and candor at the upper levels. Are any of these probable characteristics of God's direction? If they were, then why would that God be worthy of worship?

One a JW understands that the WTBTS claim of being God's True Channel is just as false as the rest of the spew emanating from the Brooklyn printing presses, then the whole Watchtower house of cards collapses. It's just a printing cult pyramid scheme even if some of its members are sincere.

It can be hard to leave the WTBTS if one still has friends or family still inside the Watchtower cage. Losing contact, sometimes for many years, is very rough; many posters to this board have undergone the experience and know how true this is. But being the victim of shunning is not as bad as the alternative of continuing to be a slave.

Now, I'm not saying that you you should give up on Christianity. Indeed, the WTBTS knows nothing of Christianity and so perhaps the biggest crime of the Watchtower is the turning away of persons from having religious faith based on Christ.

freddi

welcome jurs,
i am an inactive witness of about twelve yrs myself and i just now started getting over some of the things that were instilled in my mind from the wt. it will not be easy but it is possible. your husband can be of good help to you since he was not involved in the brain melding. cling to your hubby and there is nothing wrong with you clinging to Jehovah within your own heart. He will never leave you at all. i have learned in time that Jehovah loves us no matter what we do. only Hw can read our hearts; wheteher we be murdurers, rapists, burglars, maybe not child molesters, but who am i to judge only Jehovah can. just don't leave him. you don't have to go to a building to worship Him.
peace

logical

Jurs,

I am so glad you are realising what a sham the beast.. er WTS is.

If you refuse to worship the beast, you will be killed (disfellowshipped). No matter what. Im never even got baptised, yet I get the shunning treatment - they have "killed" me. (Rev 13:15)

Remember, if you want to serve Jah, the only way to Him is through his Son Jesus Christ, not ANY man-made earthly organisation AT ALL.

Francois2

Hello Jurs:

If it were me, I'd just fade away. No letter. No explanation. No meetings. No nothing.

When the goon-squad wants to come over to "adjust your thinking" tell 'em you've got a headache. No confrontations. No arguing. No debating. No nothing.

There's no way to win an emotional debate with logic, reason, or even truth. The only way to win that game is not to play.

My two cents.

Francoise

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