by confuzcious 13 Replies latest jw experiences
Hey guys,
I just attended my first "worldly" funeral since I've been out of "The Truth" TM.
Anyways, I thought it was nicely done. It gave honor to the deceased, it drew me closer to Jesus and it evoked emotions within me.
I'm just contrasting this to the JW funerals which always seems like way to peddle products rather than honor the dead.
No thoughts in particular for me, but anyone have any similar thoughts???
I'm just contrasting this to the JW funerals which always seems like way to peddle products rather than honor the dead
I went to my JW grandmothers funeral and sat at the back, and it was exactly how you described, no honor just an oppurtunity for them to plug their message, very cold, none spoke to me so I guess that made things worse.
I refused to go to my Catholic grandmothers funeral, I was a JW at the time she died. However I went to a Catholic funeral for my aunt and that seemed strange and cold, though they did honor the dead.
I went to a Christian church funeral and that was very acceptable for me, very caring and very warm which is what is needed at these things.
brummie
Hey Confucious,
it drew me closer to Jesus
I remember going to a dub funeral a year afo. I was ticked that MOST of the delivery was Watchtower dogma with an audience that was forced to listen.
Then about 2 months ago I went to a worldly funeral. It to was a delivery based on the christian hope with prayer and much to say about jesus.
Basically.....the scenario was the same.
Gumby
Brummie,
I don't know you personally, but I love you.
Brum, when my friend committed suicide, I was appauled when I was "counciled" for crying because my witness friend committed "self murder."
This experience was an eye opener in the complete other way. It stressed faith in Jesus. It honored the deceased and... yet at the same time, the preacher allowed the program to be run the way the family wanted it to be ran.
It wasn't straight out of a cold outline, but they took time to do it the way the family wanted it. There were a lot of tears, but a sure hell of a lot more healing.
I actually remember an elder saying "with all of her family being worldly; I need to make sure that I send them the message of Jehovah. This will be one funeral they will never forget."
It was. Nothing about the deceased. All about the worldly relatives coming to the truth before it was "to late".
Three years ago, I gave a funeral talk. Before the funeral, I consulted with the decedent's sister, a non-jw who asked me to pelase talk about her sister for at least a few minutes, because she said she was at a jw funeral and it seemed like they didn't talk about the deceased at all.
I will never forget my husband's grandma's funeral (a dear and wonderful lady). None of either of our families were JW (of course we caught hell for going...he was even a pallbearer...I've always been so glad he did that for his grandparents even as a JW).
The preacher who gave the talk was her nephew (that church also has elders rather than clergy). It was hard for him to get thru (everybody adored grandma). He told the family, (3 of her 4 kids lived several states away) that he wanted them to know something about their grandma...he wanted to be sure they knew that all the letters and photos they sent were cherished (everybody visited several times a year, and sent letters with pictures often). He said nobody ever went to grandma's house, for even a few minutes, without being shown all the latest pictures of "the kidzs" and hearing what everybody was up to. He said he wanted everybody to understand how much grandma loved us all. We all broke down.
Talking about the deceased can be kind of a mixed blessing. It was hard but it was good.
(((((((Confuzcious)))))))
I am sorry to hear about your friend's suicide and the way you were treated. I am facing going to my first JW funeral. My dad is dying of brain cancer. I was raised as a jw but never was actually baptized and I never will be. They distort the truth that is in Jesus. I have much anger toward the wt and I am very concerned about how I will react when my dad dies and I have to sit thru a wt funeral. I know that i will be very emotional and I don't know if I can handle the rhetoric while grieving. My mom and siblings are jw's too. I love my dad but I don't think that I can tolerate their lies at his funeral. Any help? love, dj
A couple years ago one of my good friends from work died of breast cancer. That was the first "worldly" funeral I had ever attended. Aside from all the sitting and standing and kneeling stuff ( this was a Catholic funeral ), it was ok. A little over the top IMHO, but the priest did say a lot of nice things about Jill, and others came up and recited scriptures and stuff. Tha absolute worst part though, was when they brought her casket thru the aisle and had it sitting up front. That totally creeped me out because all I could think about was her body lying inside.
A year later I went to my first "worldly" wedding. Again, Catholic.. Let me just say that it was soooo boring, and way too long.Too much hocus pocus. And I felt out of place when all the people would repeat certain things at certain times, I had no clue! The reception was awesome though!
J.W. funerals are very formulaic in structure and designed to exploit the fact that they have a captive audience as it were. When I was a practicing witness I used to cringe at the unashamed way in which they took advantage of the berieved to preach their message, even though at that time it was my message also. I used to feel the same at the memorial. I have attended "worldly" funerals and weddings and by and large they have all tended to feel much more "genuine" than their witness equivalents. Isn't it strange how we hang on in there for so long even when we feel uncomfortable about what we are witnessing and taking part in
Love to all La -bella
