From H20- "The Ultimate Rude Display"

by Dubby 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dubby

    I found this at the Freeminds site. It's a post from H20 that I just had to post.

    Posted by LovesDubs [LovesDubs] on July 02, 2000 at 16:55:22 {MW75JfstGk0hi4VK0MIQSQBW4HHNMw}:

    Now I AM gonna puke. :( I went to a funeral best friend who is a DAd JW and only mid thirties became a widow yesterday. Her husband was a JW. ( know theres gonna be trouble with that combo and funerals) There has been a constant parade of JWs through this poor lady's home since her husband became ill with cancer over a year ago...some of them acknowledging her some not. Finally, after much suffering, he succumbed to the disease at home, under the loving care of his wife, who is also a nurse, and hospice. Yesterday morning, a JW came to my fence, looking past me and asking to see my husband. After much ado, he left, and I asked again whether my husband was going to go to the funeral with me or not. He said that he was NOW going to go, but needed to be sure it was not in a CHURCH first, though he had gone to other funerals in churches with me before. I believe that JW was giving him the low down on what the "friends" were planning to do at said funeral. I was afraid that he was going to shun my friend...and I told him if he was planning to do that that I would not go with him...would not be seen with him after all she had gone through, she didnt need to be hurt more. Naturally, though the funeral was at a funeral home, there was a mix of JWs, and workmates and relatives. A brother who was the deceased's best friend gave the talk which was very difficult for him, but was an Infomercial for the JWs nevertheless. The brother kept claiming he was only reading the deceased's "favorite scriptures" but all there knew every single one of them was in the Funeral Outline. Each scripture read resulted in the familiar rustling of NWTs all over the room. I was near the front with my (JW) husband, and so did not notice how full the room had become. The people who sat next to me recognized my husband from the hall, and therefore knew by association who and WHAT I was...and stayed as far down the pew as possible from me. The brother did the usual job of speaking of the blessings associated with being a JW, and that speaking about Jehovah to anyone is something you do only if you are "qualified" to do so. That all of them, if they are to please Jehovah should watch how they speak to others, how they treat others..."like here today, how are you treating those around you?" Obviously nobody heard that part of the talk. conclusion, he said that the widow was going to say a few words about her late husband. When he stepped down and she stood up...there was a WHOOOOOOOOSH as 45-50 JWs stood up and LEFT THE BUILDING!! In the FREAKIN MIDDLE OF THE FUNERAL!! I was appalled...I was disgusted... I was sickened by it. I wanted to run out the door after them and scream at them for being the most repugnant group of people I had ever had the displeasure of sitting in the same room with. The families (hers are all JWs) and workmates/friends watched this great exodus of the Holy Ones with extreme shock on their faces. Whatever possible recruitment opportunites that brother might have made with his canned funeral talk, went right out the window when those religious bigots, with their self back patting, and murmuring about how GREAT a witness that had been for Jehovah...walked out that door. And did they leave? No they did not...they all stood outside the building milling about as if waiting to be congratulated for that heinous act!! My husband, to his credit, both hugged the bereaved widow and consoled her..and did NOT leave when the Great Crowd did. After my friend spoke, and all she did basically was thank us for coming...the children of the man read poetry for their father while his BRETHREN sat outside and SMIRKED at their show of solidarity and their VICTORY against the evil apostate!! As we left, hands extended to my husband and past me like I wasnt there. He did not stop to talk to them. We didnt speak on the way home...and I never asked him what he thought of what he had seen. But later in the afternoon, he said "there is a meeting of the Self Rightous Ones that starts in half an hour...and Im going to go." I only half smiled and handed him the umbrella. I hope he has the courage to tell them what a horrible thing they had done...just as he had the courage to stay there and see it through. Even if he chooses not to speak...his actions spoke loudly to me and I believe thanks to God..that his heart is not of JW stone.


    "Enjoy God's creation, ride a dirt bike!"

  • somebody

    Hi, Dubby

    Reading how people can have absolutely no empathy for others, or sympathy in thier heats, makes me so sad. I've heard it said that Jehovah's Witnesses ONLY, have the distinguishing mark of the love described by Jesus in the Bible. Someday...maybe someone will get to see it.

    God bless,

    ~~~~Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.~~~~~

  • waiting

    Hey Dubby,

    I read this on h20 also, and apologized to her for the ignorance and coldness of our JW's friends. This story smacks of a true happening,
    mainly because I can truly visualize JW's acting in such a horrendous fashion.

    My father-in-law died recently, and naturally, my DF'd daughter came over to express her sympathy, along with food and flowers. The house was full of family and friends (all JW's). They all knew my daughter and most nodded. One sister engaged my daughter in small talk as they were sitting next to the new widow. She asked my daughter if she was re-instated, when my daughter said no - she literally turned her back to my daughter.

    My daughter had every right to be at her grandmother's house - her grandmother welcomed her. The JW's ate my daughter's food - but wouldn't be polite to her. If a person is a guest in a house - they should act with manners - or leave.

    At the funeal home, 2 grandchildren were present who were DF'd. No one but their parents and new widow (and worldly people) spoke to them. My daughter was escorted by her longtime fiance'. I guess they thought he had "bad association" written across his forehead - because no one spoke to him either. He tried to speak to persons, but they rebuffed him. He was furious, said he had never been treated so rudely. I was so ashamed - I was active at the time. The whole bizarre situation tore me so bad - I just went into the bathroom, sank to the floor and sobbed. Guess I don't take things too well, in retrospect.

    A time of death and sorrow is not the appropriate time to show indignities or a pompous ass. Of course, I guess there is never a proper time for showing those things. I guess that's the problem - too much pompousness and little love.


  • Simon

    Also, funerals too often turn into recruitment events to witness to outsiders / relatives instead of focusing on the person and their relatives.
    It is very sad.

  • Dubby

    All this crappy treatment is based on the Society's bogus rendering of how one approaches someone who rejects Christ and His teachings.

    When I was an m.s., a sister I was friends with got df'd. I saw her at the mall one day. I looked at her, but ignored her. She looked at me with agony and desperation on her face. What I didn't know at the time was that she had breast cancer and died shortly thereafter. Later, I talked to her fiance', a man that literally was the nicest guy in the "world". I found out from him about her death. He is now raising their son. No JW that I know of ever tried to console this man or his son. When he told me about her death, I almost started bawling. It was the first time tears came to my eyes since becoming a JW.

    The WT teachings have hardened my heart. I'm trying now to get back to the way I was before becoming a JW.

  • SolidSender

    Dubby, someone, everyone, there seems to be a misconception here that the WTBTS represents christianity & spirituality & religion, they don't, though this is their great illusion. The issue at stake is not the scripturalness of what they teach - those falsehoods have been thoroughly documented as we all know - the issue at stake is the control of your mind for the sole & primary purpose of supporting and maintianing their man made power base & commercial empire. That's all their is to it.-SolidSender

  • waiting

    Hey SS,

    I'm sorry, old age and sorriness must be catching up with me. I don't remember how old you are nor how long you were/are a baptised JW. Did you hold a position within your congregation? Are you disassociated or disfellowshipped or just a slip-away?

    You do have a creditable command of pseudo psychological terms, and proper English. Do you have a college degree? In what persuasion, and what level?

    In respect to your reply to Dubby's post, I noticed the same peculiarity as did almost every person who replied to the h20 poster on the Funeral Thread.

    I noticed a total lack of fellow feeling. I noticed almost every poster, including you towards Dubby, taking the opportunity of someone else's pain to lash out at the Society. But no acknowledgement nor emphathy for the person's discomfort.

    JW's take the opportunity of a person's painful situation to snub their self-righteous noses at the person in pain.

    Apostates or xJW's take the opportunity of a person's painful situation to snub the the WTBTS.

    Why is that? Both groups ignore the person in pain. Of course, this is only my observation. But if anyone bothers to go to h20 and read the responses - it is self evident.

    waiting [url=]H20 Forum[/url]

    Edited by - waiting on 6 July 2000 21:54:24

    Edited by - waiting on 6 July 2000 21:58:27

    Edited by - waiting on 6 July 2000 22:0:52

  • Zep

    Yeah i sure remember readin' that one dubby...
    The worst the story i heard though was on TV down here bout maybe 8yrs ago...i didn't really grasp the full reality of it at the time, but this lady was on TV (she was 40-50) and she'd lost her kid to the blood policy.Apparently...when she was in the hospital all thes JW's were hounding her...telling her not to take the blood option else you'll loose your inheritance and stuff...which is kinda the last things you'd be saying someone in that situation really(if you weren't a dub)...she was obviously quite impressionable and went along with the group and lost her kid.She obvioulsy regretted it though and was DF'ed at the time.She was the most softly spoken person and was really cut up inside, you could tell. put on a brave face though....but she looked like she was just resigned to a hopeless situation.She'd virually lost everything...kid,faith,friends...everything!

  • Pathofthorns

    I guess the saddest thing is that many of us would have followed the "crowd" and walked out.

    Its amazing how information and perspective suddenly changes things.

    On the bright side, those who walked and those who shunned will likely one day realize what they've done. What is done is done under the influence of those who have committed the greater sin - it is not of their own doing. They will be forgiven even as we have been.


  • circare

    Oh well said waiting!

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