Eric Hoffer says we'll probably never recover completely

by DanTheMan 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Satanus

  Dan

  Thanks for the book reference.

  I am also familiar w dispair. I don't know if yours is from the same thing as mine, but i'll tell you about it just in case. I do regression meditation, and i have reached a place where dispair reigns. It has always been there (at least from very young), but now that i am face to face with it, i can see where it comes from. Also, a book called 'homecoming' by john bradshaw mentioned it.

  He said that the first connection that a baby makes is w the mother. If the mother is aloof/emotionally unavailable, the baby concludes it cannot depend on her and hence anyone for the it's foreseeable life. It may also feel shame. Result, dispair and isolation.

  It's a mountain made of iron for me, so far. Anyway, i just thought i would share that. If you are interested in checking out the book, it's all about the inner child.

  SS
• 

  larc

  Hey Dan,
  
  As you know, I am generally upbeat. However, I am going through a bad time myself right now. (This is not like me, but it is happening.)
  
  Well, I will get through it, and I will see better days. I am very depressed right now, but I know that there will be sunshine after the storm.
  
  We do have our friends to help us through these dark moments.
• 

  Joyzabel

  "I feel like I'm 3 steps into a journey of 1000 miles." At least you have started your journey

  Enjoy your journey!

  j2bf

  Patricks are heading home nicely tanned tomorrow.
• 

  Joyzabel

  ((((((((((((((((((((Larc)))))))))))))))) and ((((((((((((((((((((((Zazu)))))))))))))))))))))))

  sending warm hugs your way! * and sunshine, too! *

  j2bf
• 

  larc

  Thank you Joy,
  
  That means a lot to me - your hugs. I am going to bed now and get some rest, so I won't be responding any more tonight.
  
  Thanks again, dear heart.
• 

  A Paduan

  The cause wasn't holy - on the contrary, jwism is quite divisive to the human spirit

  Autonomy could never be gained under such a regime.
• 

  A Paduan

  The cause was never holy - the words 'slave class' are enough to reveal that
• 

  Vivamus

  So, what I'm asking is, what things have you done to to establish your own sense of identity? Do you now structure your own life, now that you've left the JW structure, or are you "cast adrift"?

  Well, first I threw out all the things the JW thought me. Every bit of moral and every bit of reasoning they gave me for not doing something. Then, I started making up my own mind, did I find birthdays wrong, did I find sex wrong , etc.

  I did for a while acted out of spite and did everything they forbade me just because they forbade me to do it. But I stopped doing that. Right now, the mindset of a JW, and the thought of me being one, is miles and lifetimes seperated from who I am today. The one thing I am doing is wearing a cross, no longer out of spite, but more as a symbol of survival... I'll probably get rid of it in years to come, but not just now.

  My own sense of identity is pretty well developed, but I am still growing and changing, the person I am today, will not be the same as me twenty years down the road. I keep that in mind, I allow myself to change my opinion, and live by a few but crucial rules, "do what makes you happy", "follow your own path and not some one else's idea of your path", and "don't hurt people, esp. not by intent" ...

  Viv.
• 

  LyinEyes

  I was a JW all of my life until a year ago. If you ask me right now will I ever fully recover from the experience ,I say no. My answer No, is not the end of the world, I dont need to fully recover to be happy. I think there are some dark things in your life that you never forget, couldnt forget that will always be there, so you would never be completely recovered. I still have moments of fear left over from JW issues. So I guess I see myself in a "gettin' better " place for awhile , rather than a "recoverd" place. I think it will be many years to get over some things,,,, somethings maybe never.

  I don't think the biggest issues for me anymore,..are getting over all the bad things in my life... I think it is , as it always has been,,,,,,, learning to live with these things, somethings are always with you, you just have to learn to coexsist with them.
• 

  blondie

  Leaving JWs you find you were a victim of spiritual abuse but are now on your way to being a survivor.

  Having been through the healing process of other types of abuse, sexual, verbal, and emotional as well as being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, I can say with some conviction that all the effects will not go away.

  But...it is a continuingly improving situation. I thought the day would never come when I didn't quiver when my father entered the room at some social function. But that day came, and even my father recognized I was no longer afraid of him and left shortly after.

  So I agree with Eric Hoffer in the sense that our experiences as JWs will never completely leave us. But we can use them to help others who are leaving which is what we do here on JWD.

  Blondie