Reinstatement/dating (page 2)

Giordano

Pinky I went back and reviewed your topics....... each and every one of them was marriage related. Being married, not being married....... dating and committing some manner of sexual sin and being reinstated.

All of this so far has been a big waste of your time.....unless you enjoy being disrespected.

You have been reinstated so it's an excellent time to step away and leave this slimy religion that in actuality does not have the truth and is made up of lies.

According to the Pew Religious survey the JW's have the same divorce rate as just about any other religion. They are also the least educated. And guess what? 67% of born-ins leave the religion according to the Pew Survey.

There are hundreds of ways to meet and date guys even ex JW's........ if that fits your comfort range......until you find the right person.

Start by checking dating sites on line....... just make sure they are not still in this or any other high control religion.

Rethink your life to this point....... is this the best way you can live? Think about finding worthwhile companions male and female who are not in foolish religions.

peacefulpete

Lots of pointed advice. The real issue is you are still stuck in the limbo between worlds. The JW world and the world outside. A horrible place to be when the hold on you still exists but the joy of belonging part of the group doesn't. I knew a dozen or so people right where you are, they were always miserable, in then out then back in. I wonder what came of a few of them and I fear it may have ended with suicide. And I'm serious, this will not end well unless you come to understand the situation objectively.

A nonJW would read your story and would wonder what is wrong with you, the religion is clearly not working for you, so leave and find people who can empathize. A JW reading your story would blame you for your mess and mark you as bad association.

Leaving the religion is apparently not an option for you, since you have never hinted you are considering it. It seems to me you are left with only the other option of living a miserable existence of feeling powerless and worthless and being branded as a weak JW.

I hope this post is recognized as tough love. Because that is what you need right now.

Finkelstein

Just one question ..

Why was he not Dfed if he had sex with you ?

Sex outside of marriage is supposed to be a Dfing offense.

Pinky

They said my attitude is what got me disfellowshipped

Pinky

My attitude

Finkelstein

The elders may just trying to dissolve the relationship as an intent to stop any further misappropriate behavior in the future.

In any case being that your re-instated and divorced, they can not stop you from having a relationship with this guy, that's if he really wants to, maybe he has re-thought the situation ? People do meet other men or woman .

If he wholeheartedly does love you, he would take the steps to pursue things with you in the approved JWS way, if not your probably best to just drop it and move forward less you being hurt.

blondie

Finkelstein's advice is very good. He should know exactly what he is going to face if you remain a jw and he does not become one. I married a non-jw and pressure was put on me. I was told that if I married a non-jw I could be df'd. But I still married him (but not giving any reason to be in the hotseat again). When you are reinstated, I was told they could not turn around and df you for the same sin, and marrying a non-jw is not a new df'ng offense since it is not a df'ing offense.

"In any case being that your re-instated and divorced, they can not stop you from having a relationship with this guy, that's if he really wants to, maybe he has re-thought the situation ? People do meet other men or woman .

If he wholeheartedly does love you, he would take the steps to pursue things with you in the approved JWS way, if not your probably best to just drop it and move forward less you being hurt. "

Incognito

Although the elders in your congregation will claim you are now forgiven, they will continue to hold your Df'g against you for years and decades to come, especially if your husband was well-liked or an MS/Elder. As long as any of the same elders that were involved with your 'case' remain in the congregation, they will inform any new elders to your past indiscretion as you will be considered damaged and untrustworthy. It's worse for women than men, especially those men that strive to become MSs and Elders after they are reinstated.

zeb

Did you say he has not contacted you in 5 months? He isnt showing much in the way of affection.

Please find a counsellor to discuss your situation with and ensure the counsellor is experienced with sects. There is a belief among some counsellors and mental health professionals that the wt is just another church.. it isnt.

poopie

Sounds cowardly but both are free sounds like you have grounds do not let the elders paralyze you.

Reinstatement/dating

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