A month ago I was reinstated as a jehovah’s Witness. He was not disfellowshipped. In my meeting I was told that I could not become involved with the man that I committed a sin with, which is adultery once I’m reinstated. My husband divorced me and he did not forgive me. I’m single and so is the brother I sinned with. Throughout my disfellowshipping we have contacted each other about 5 times. I called him one day and told him that I miss him and love him so much and he told me that he misses me too. But he called me from a private number. Any private conversations we have had with each other over the phone has never been reported to the elders by me or him. But when we are at the meetings they always seem to see something and bring it to my attention. He seems to be afraid of them and I’m afraid that when I contact him he is going to go back on his word and not keep his promises. We promised each other that we would come back to each other once I was reinstated and we had our privileges back. The last time we talked was 5 months ago. From the conversation our feelings are still the same. In my meeting the elders made it seem like he was done with the relationship that we had. I feel that if this is not what he wants why wouldn’t he call and say something just like when he called to tell me that he misses me. If the elders are telling the truth. I feel as if they have made to be the buy guy in this situation.
Screw them. They make the rules up as they go, and you will find that no matter what you do, once they have you on their radar they will try to assert what little power they have over you and you will be driven hither and thither like a buoy driven by the waves of the ocean until they finally GOTCHA.
If you want to be their puppet you can choose to carry on, otherwise go live your life and BE HAPPY.
I've seen a few screwed up situations like this in my time in the Borg. It kind of gets really messy. Are you sure the guy still really cares for you - if he really loved you , wouldn't he have made an effort to contact you ( even privately ) after your reinstatement?
Otherwise - why not take advantage of your reinstatement & just fade. Do you really want to be subject to the organisation's complex and often arbitrary web of rules dictating who you can / cannot date / marry etc for the rest of your life? And believe me , even though you are reinstated , the elders will be on your case for some time - get used to the back room in the Kingdom Hall.
He lives further away from me. He doesn’t know just yet. I haven’t contacted him yet
You keep touching the stove and wonder why you get burned. If you have not learned by now I guess you may never learn.
You are now at the bottom of the sea holding on to a concrete block. If you want to stop drowning, let it go!
Maybe your man will do likewise.
Disentangle yourself....move on. Live your life. Those "elders" really have no authority over you....but if you allow them to dictate the terms of your life...that is on you. Don't waste precious time dancing around trying to please them. Not only is it completely unnecessary, it is damaging to you psychologically and emotionally. As for your lover...sounds like he needs to man up and decide where his heart truly lies.
Adultery? Why? It is not adultery if you are divorced, and the other party is also single or divorced. I would simply go ahead, and if the hounders give you a hard time, you should stop going to boasting sessions, doing any field circus, or donating anything to joke-hova. Either they leave you alone about this, or they won't get anything at all.
And, now might be a good time for you to start learning a foreign language that is hard for the hounders to find anyone that understands. That way, you can use that language in any hearing to gather information, so they are not getting any.
Some Years ago my sister did the same. But they were both a single brother and sister.
Once they were kicked out they carried on seeing each other and lived together.
As they both wanted to return, they got married in a rush and started working towards forgiveness.
they got both reinstated a few years ago...didn’t take long.
but what she got was not what she expected.... an abusive husband and now stuck without the freedom to do anything as He is the head of the family blah blah blah.
You must have your reasons to be reinstated, but remember that you’ll live a conditioned life, never free. You can still serve God without the organisation of organised religion.
Maybe stick around and read others experiences and this will give you a insight of what’s really going on in the organisation.
also check Marc and Cora on YouTube. They had a similar story. They where told they couldn’t get married by the elders as they were both divorced people but fell in love and ignored the advice.
they were then disfellowshipped because they wanted to live their lives together. They are a good example of what the organisation ideas can be very wrong.
Hi Pinky, by your comments I guess that you believe that JWs have the only ticket to paradise.
Let me assure you by the experience and knowledge of most of the people on this forum, JWs are not the only path in life and that a more fulfilling world exists outside of the kingdom hall.
If however you wish to be a JW then you gotta go by what they tell you... and remain stuck there and treated as a child in an adult's body.
Be yourself, it is why you were born, it is your birthright.