My goodness! Fourteen years since I began posting here...

by garyneal 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • garyneal

    Hello everyone,

    I'm not sure if anyone remembers me since I do not post here much anymore. I sometimes pop in around Christmas time to see if anyone is interested in exchanging Christmas cards like we used to back when I first posted on this site. Speaking of which, the holiday season will soon be upon us.

    If you recall, I was married to a Jehovah's Witness and I had a daughter I spoke of a lot. My little daughter is now 17 years and is in her last year of high school. Hard to believe so much time has passed.

    My wife and I also did not work it out in the end but our reason for our separation was due to her having an affair. She was disfellowshipped for this and she woke up to the cult based on how they treated her in the aftermath. She considered the disfellowshipping process and shunning as emotionally abusive. She even stated as such to the elders when she attempted to get reinstated. The elders, of course, responded by insisting that she accept the disfellowshipping practice as "loving" and when she held her position, they made it practically impossible for her to get reinstated.

    Where are we now? My wife moved out early 2021 and she and I continued to communicate. We even hung out like a couple and spent time together as a family for over a year since then. I thought we would eventually reconcile and get back together but unfortunately by August of 2022 she began dating other men. I implored her, even begged her, to reconsider and we try to work it out but no. I soon realized the futility of it and gave myself permission to move on.

    We have not filed divorce yet as we still maintain a friendship and there is a part of me that still cares in spite of everything. That said, I know it needs to be done but am a bit afraid to do it.

    We originally did joint custody of the kids but over time, my little daughter decided to live with me while her sister lives with her. Soon she'll be 18 and none of that will matter anyway.

    I miss the old days of us posting here and talking about religion and the Jehovah's Witnesses. I miss the old days of experiencing the Kingdumb Hall with my family in spite of my fears. Looking back, it wasn't too bad and I am thankful that I was not a witness as I was able to keep the family somewhat grounded. That is, in spite of my own religious zealotry that I had back then. I have this board plus my own willingness to question everything to thank for shaking off that. As nice as it was to be true blue believing Christian, my zealotry was causing problems for both me and my family and my shaking it helped free me.

    Where is my (ex)wife now? Definitely not Jehovah's Witness. She is far more skeptical, as am I. That said, we do go to church (not the same one) primarily for community and our own personal edification. As for me, my beliefs lie more in line with deism now. My daughters do not go to church and we never force them to, though I do encourage my oldest just to get out and around people. She, unfortunately, has been fighting with anxiety and has had a hard time being in social situations, this includes school and part time jobs. We are just patient with her and I am thankful that her mother and I still are on good terms for her sake.

  • Ding

    I remember you.

    Thanks for the update.

    I'm glad to hear that, amidst all the problems, there are still significant positives in your lives.

  • garyneal

    Hello Ding,

    Nice to see you again. It has been a while since we've interacted. I've looked over the old posts from back in the old days to kind of remanence.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    Hello Gary.

    My 14 year anniversary posting on here just passed also

    Good to see you.

  • Bribie

    Do Christmas cards brighten up your life? If so I feel sorry for you!

  • garyneal
    Do Christmas cards brighten up your life? If so I feel sorry for you!

    Um, well, okay. Thank you.

  • garyneal

    Hello Beth Sarim,

    Good to see you too.

    I recall back in 2015, our family visited San Diego CA and drove by Beth Sarim. I spoke briefly with the owner of the property but did not ask to tour the house.

    A year later, in 2016 during our anniversary, we went to Pittsburgh PA and visited the cemetery and saw the pyramid memorial near Charles Russell's gravesite.

    Last summer, I stopped by again to confirm that the pyramid had been removed.

  • AudeSapere

    Hi Gary!

    I remember you - and Holiday Cards from you.

    It's so nice when old posters friends pop in to say hello and catch up on their lives.

    -Aude (aka Denise)

  • garyneal

    Hello Aude, Denise.

    How has life been for you? I remember seeing posts from you too. Good to see you again.

  • garyneal

    Also, how have you been Ding and Beth Sarim?

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