Divorce/Terms of Agreement

by SFSDGUY 25 Replies latest jw experiences

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  smiddy3

  I'd really hold off trusting doing this yourself with a jw soon to be ex-wife, coming out okay and it all working out in the wash. I guess you haven't experienced the 'jw flip a bitch, in a nano second' scenario.

  I`m with caves on where this is likely to end up. The Elders and her JW friends will all be in her ear to protect the child after the divorce to ensure your ex brings the child up as a JW.

  Sorry, but if you think a verbal agreement with a JW is binding ,your very naive.

  Do you want your daughter to become a JW and refuse a blood TF if it was necessary ? All because of the dictates of the hateful 8 sitting in their Ivory towers?
  
  
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  carla

  @caves, it's how I kept my kids out of kh but then we didn't split up so it is a different scenario.

  Years later, my kids are Christian and know full well that the jw's are a cult. Love their jw dad all the same. Though they were taught unconditional love by me & their faith.
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  carla

  I forgot to add that a court may look more kindly on someone exposing their children to a diverse world rather than a rigid system that it is known to hide and protect pedophiles.
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  SFSDGUY

  Thanks for all the support and suggestions. I haven't been on for a few days and don't know where to start with all the questions. There's so much more to this situation than what I've stated in the posts. I understand the situation of the potential religion issues in court. Even though being a JW is part of it, I'm mainly going to focus on her unstable mental health and substance abuse. I feel like if worst comes to worst, I have a better chance with these two concerns.
  
  I really like advice from pale.emperor - being the cool dad with the holidays, birthdays, and involvement. That's my mentality and want to my daughter to know that she's not limited to just the JW bs.
  
  I appreciate all the links and will do more investigating
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  Vanderhoven7

  Hey Pale Emperor,

  Thanks for posting the link to the WT preparation for child custody cases booklet. Such weasel-word and outrightly disingenuous responses recommended should convince anyone who is not totally brainwashed that WT religion is immersed in deliberate deception.
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  caves

  @SFDGUY- "Even though being a JW is part of it, I'm mainly going to focus on her unstable mental health and substance abuse".

  That is a good idea.

  I know there is much more to the story, like you said.

  Here is how her jw support system could spin that. Since she's reinstated, that particular "slate" has been wiped clean in their eyes whether she is "clean or not" or "mentally healthy", because all she has to do is show up for meetings and lie about the drug part.Conversely in jws eyes , just her going back to the KH and being reinstated says/shows to them, shes "mentally fit and has broken from satans grasp." Jws do write letters in behalf of the parent in regards members character , trustworthiness, and mental health. They have no problem lying to cover 'jehovah's name'. Its really ingrained. And its sneaky. Its not something they would ever say openly to an outsider or in a court of law or to a lawyer. It will be used.

  If you have lawyers, how will you prove anything with out a court Judge determining this? Lawyers are good to have. At the end of the day someone will pay support. That usually falls on the father. Okay so taking that out, because the lawyers will devise some agreement on that and submit to the court for record. How will you prove the mental instability and drug issue? Lawyers can fight for you using that, but not between lawyers.That would need a couple of things. Some sort of proof, child services, and then that's when a court judge will be needed. If you did try to use that between lawyers , then you give her and her jw support a clear insight into your thinking before the divorce. Do you want that? Just saying.

  Once jws get a whiff of that word, 'court' then it can very well be a full frontal attack on you. They will shield her. In jw land , you are the bad guy no matter what. Its just how it is.

  I really want this to work out for you. I'm not trying to be a bummer. And you do have a weapon/tool some playing leverage, with using drug use and mental stability issues. You'll have play it carefully.

  Also why would you even want you child around a mentally unstable drug using jw? Because based on what I understand, your going to use that and still advocate for your daughter to live where? With her, or you? Both?

  Just more food for thought.

  I don't know you and you haven't filled in a lot of details so I will say that I look forward to further updates. Well wishes here.

  I did say there is a way, that it was brutal but would likely work, especially given what you said. But, I will completely drop it as I don't want any jw reading it and using it. However it's a reverse of what they have done in other situations similar to yours. Won't mention it again because there are many missing pieces.

  All the best.