Hello friends! May I backtrack a little? And btw tell a little of my story. Please excuse my probably poor English. ;-)
As a 60s-born-in in Germany, I had the typical JDub career: As a youth I made "the truth my own", education, alternative civilian service, work, marriage, children, service assistant, elder, privileges on assembly and district level. At some point, I pulled old doubts out of the drawer, dealt with "Ötzi", ancient human fossils, evolution, the flood, 1914, 1975, etc., found and enjoyed this site with a more or less bad conscience (Thank you all!) ... Soon I was done, faith-wise. Resigned tasks and privileges gradually, but quickly. Told wife and children, they fortunately joined my thoughts immediately, we all bekame inactive, PIMO, that's it. Today we are regarded as apostates, shunned, but have our peace.
But now to the topic: After all I couldn't believe in a God anymore, certainly not in JHWH or another, who cares about us. For me, the question of whether there's a God is not really a question of faith at all. Two possibilities: Either there is a God, or there is no God. What does the evidence say? There you go! As simple, as it sounds! Nevertheless, many things in nature, physics, in the universe remain a mystery for me. Some things seem to be simply too finetuned or constructed to be only the result of a blind, unplanned happening.
By chance, a few months ago I came across an interview on YouTube with a woman who had had a near-death-experience (NDE). Somehow, the interview and as well the woman was so convincing and credible that I was increasingly pulled into the topic until today. First time in my life I allowed myself to deal with e.g. stories of children who remember previous lives, reincarnation, far-east religions like buddhism, etc. I think, I am still very sceptical, but I would no longer call myself a decided atheist, but rather an agnostic. I am curious to see where my way of life will lead me. I am still a truthseeker.