Why does he stay in?

Probablyshouldrun

I was seeing a JW man for about a year and a half until l broke it off with him last week. We met on a dating site. He shouldn’t have been on there, of course, but he was lonely. Divorced twice, both times to JW women. He didn’t tell me he was JW, I figured it out on my own and confronted him he didn’t deny he told me he was lonely and had been deemed not worthy to marry a JW sister I was not happy I felt deceived I wasn’t really familiar with JW and of course he asked me to study and research I was raised Catholic. I studied some of the WT materials (made me gag), it’s written for 3rd graders. I even went to the summer convention with him. That was an eye opener! I read More and began to deconstruct the Bible and my own faith.

We get along so incredibly well and enjoy most of the same activities. We’ve traveled together extensively. I could see a future except he’s a JW.

I told him last week it’d be better to just be friends as I need to protect myself I just feel that if a JW sister looks his way, he’d drop me in a heartbeat. he didn’t deny it. He said he had some reservations about our different world views.

I don’t understand. He’s mentally in, totally believes JW live in the TRUTH. But he’s the worst JW I’ve ever met. He says he’s broken and brings bad light to the JW. He breaks all the rules, dates a non JW, has sex, divorced twice, I can go on and on.

My question is, why does he stay in if he doesn’t believe in and follow all the ridiculous rules? He sporadically attends meetings, hasn’t gone out witnessing in probably 30yrs, isn’t really involved much at KH. He has no connections or ties with anyone at his KH. He was raised JW and his mom and stepdad are JW. He’s not close to his mom and she lives in another state

why does he stay in??

LongHairGal

PROBABLYSHOULDRUN:

In reading your post, I would guess this man doesn’t want to displease his still living family members. Maybe he won’t inherit anything if he does.

You are probably correct that if a JW woman looked his way he would drop you. I think this is a hopeless situation and you are wasting your time.....If I were you I would do myself a favor and make like your username!

Probablyshouldrun

I did, I broke it off. I realized I had to be the one to end it. No chance of a long term future. It’s quite sad as we are otherwise very well matched.

Pete Zahut

He might be nice enough as a friend but on some level you realize he’s a flake and a narcissistic user who doesn’t know his own mind and you’d be foolish to hitch yourself to a wagon that has no one steering it.

Why does he stay in? He’s heavily indoctrinated and doesn’t even realize it. He wants the best of both worlds... wants his cake and eat it too... he’s a walking JW cliche’.

smiddy3

Why does he stay in ? Simply because like a lot of people like him ,he has left the "truth" but the "truth" has never left him .I put it down to their being mentally lazy JW`s who never really accepted all the doctrines JW`s teach , probably has little or no understanding of what is actually in the Bible ,its just a feel good religion ,petting Pandas and lions in a paradise earth,picking grapes as big as apples etc.etc.

And is/was quite happy having someone else ,Elders / GB ,telling him what to believe .

days of future passed

Yes he still lives in a world constructed by the JW religion. Everything is filtered thru the JW mindset and it always comes up that the religion is right - even if he suffers from living a half life. Until something breaks the spell and he truly sees the lies and damaging teachings, he will be drawn like a moth to the "light" until he's dead.

Good thing you could see that and break it off.

Theonlyoneleft

Hi there,

probably should run 🏃‍♀️... your name says it all. ☺️

i agree with the above post. He lives half a life with a foot dipped in each world.

to answer your question.... guilt.

he admitted that he’s not worthy, that he’s not a good witness, he admits he does it all but can’t leave.... so he stays IN to better himself... as jws say often “we’re not perfect”, the reply to so many questions that they don’t want to face.

If he stays in.... he can still feel he has a chance to be “saved”.

Until he sees this is not the real “Tooth” there won’t be the possibility of a relationship... and still... will take him some time to untangle himself from indoctrination of the cult.

wishing you the best.

stan livedeath

Yet another one of these fringe dub males dating outside of the truth.threads...lol. keep em coming.

Under No Illusion

Some small parts of this story parallel my own, at least in terms of the nature of the person I was involved with.

A really poor JW, Prior to our meeting led a secret life of cheating, bad behaviour, and kept being forgiven as 'we are all imperfect'. Sin - forgive - sin - rinse and repeat. No learning curve whatsoever. Still hasn't got one. Always falls back on the imperfect excuse. Wasn't even DFed for her affair with me. They are really handing out 'slap on the wrist' level stuff now.

She stayed in because her family and friends are there. Doesn't have the mental or emotional ability to let go and live a normal worldly life that her character is much better suited to. Occasionally overindulges in 'worldly' vices then crawls back. Is a born in who never knew a normal existence. That's the only thing I can use to find some level of forgiveness in myself. She was given no choice, but boy did she turn out to be a terrible Christian.

At 50 yrs of age she would either know right from wrong by now, but she's brainwashed.

You have to run from these types or you become a victim too.

Vidiot

Poor bastard’s probably realized by now that he just can’t function without the Org’s overarching structure.

Why does he stay in?

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