Is politeness out of style?

by JH 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • ChakkaConned

    I've noticed the problem with the door holding and I'm female. I hold the door open everytime I'm in that position and recently I held it open for 2 different women and neither said thank you. It may not be a male/female thing. Some women are just rude bitches, plain and simple.

  • Xena

    lol well I am trying to do my part to bring it back and am teaching my daughter to do the same.....

    it's one of those things that takes so little effort but makes life so much nicer for everyone, I don't understand why more people aren't polite...

    you think this is one of the signs of the last days????

  • Nosferatu

    [QUOTE]you think this is one of the signs of the last days???? [/QUOTE]
    Not at all! According to the June 1st Watchtower, it will no longer be the UN that turns on the JWs. Keep alert, for it will soon be announced that Bill Bowen is the Scarlet-Colored Wild Beast!

    Now let me ask you this - is there biblical proof that people were polite to one another in biblical times?

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    I don't care if people were polite in biblical times or not. I can control myself and what I do and how I conduct myself. If I hold the door open for someone, it's not because I expect a thank you. It's because it is polite and helpful. It is because that is how I choose to live my life. If someone else chooses to be boorish, obnoxious and uncaring then I submit that says more about them than it does me.

    I'll tell you guys something, being nice doesn't get you anywhere in this world. Being nice gets your heart broken, gets you walked all over, and taken advantage of. Whenever someone sees you as a nice guy, they'll see you as a person they can take advantage of, and you'll let them because you're nice.

    There is a big difference in being polite and assertive versus being wimpy and gullible. I work with a woman who feels just like this and she is constantly complaining and fighting with anyone who she feels is getting in her way. Her tone of voice when she gets adversarial is ugly and spiteful. I don't want to live my life like that. I don't like how I feel after losing my temper.

    Do I stand up for myself? You bet. But I also believe in picking your battles. I'm not going to run yelling and screaming into a Burger King just because they got the order wrong. By this standard then I am letting Burger King take advantage of me. I say: Fine. But by the same token when someone in my office made threats against me I took action. I stood up for myself and I let her and HR know in no uncertain terms this was not acceptable.

    I have a reputation in my office as being very easy going. HR has told several people that "If you can't get along with Chris, you can't along with anybody." That works to my advantage. That means when I complain, HR sits up and listens. And they did when I complained about my co-worker.

    I think it is sad when people equate politeness, kindness and gentleness of soul with weakness. There's an old saw that says, "Still waters run deep."

  • SheilaM
    I think that a person who is too polite looks OLD FASHION. And that is repellent to many youngsters.

    I disagree a child does as they are taught. My children always saw me helping elderly people load their groceries and holding doors etc. Thunder is so disgustingly nice and polite (in fact I am beginning to suspect he and BT may be identical/twins that don't look alike LOL) Thunder will give you the shirt/jeans and undies of his back LOL He works for elderly people and becomes their friends. He is so damn honest in business we will never be rich but you know his business is referral only and he is always busy. NOW if he would charge them the going rate but alas he is a sweetie.

    So anyways my kids are so polite Anthony will help people and so does Mel now you can't walk on them but they are exceptionally well behaved and in tune kids. They also look at manners as learned because they see the result of people that arent taught.

    Also, Makayla is now almost 11 months and can already say "pease" an Tank U" LOL

  • Pleasuredome


    when that happens I usually say "Yes, thanks a lot, no problem" aloud so they get the message. they mighte turn around and say thanks, or they'll ignore you and feel very uncomfortable.

  • bittersweet

    I wholeheartedly agree with Big Tex. I am polite because that's how I chose to be, and it's the right way to be. If people choose not to appreciate polite behaviour, that's their choice. I don't let it get to me.

    I work at a customer service desk at a Supermarket. For me, being polite and going out of your way to please a customer is what it's all about. I don't think this generatin is any worse than any other. I can't tell you how many older people come in with a horrible attitude, yelling and swearing when they don't get what they want. So many people act as if the world owes them something. Years ago people had to wait patientlyfor things, whether it be at a restaraunt or retail store. Nowadays, with fast food and better technology, people expect things right then and there.And if they don't get it, watch out!

    For me personally, when I see impolite and rude people, I feel really sorry for them. How sad a life they must lead if they have to nit pick every little detail, and be rude to their neighbor. I choose to be happy, not sweat the small things, and always have a smile on my face ( ok, I try atleast! ).

  • Sara Annie
    Sara Annie
    when that happens I usually say "Yes, thanks a lot, no problem" aloud so they get the message. they mighte turn around and say thanks, or they'll ignore you and feel very uncomfortable.

    I don't think it's ever a good idea to follow up rude behavior with more rude behavior.

    While we have taught our children to be respectful and polite, we have also taught them that there are a lot of people in this world who are anything but. As they have gotten older, its second nature for them to use please and thank you appropriately. They also realize that if someone doesn't thank them for a kindness, it is not in the scope of polite behavior to call attention to the slight.

  • SheilaM

    I don't think it's ever a good idea to follow up rude behavior with more rude behavior.
    True, I'm not polite for the reply but because it is the right thing to do. If a woman is loading groceries with little ones int he car. I alwasy offer to put up the basket for her or him. I also try to always put my cart away. these little thing count for alot

  • one

    lack of proper education

    they are a product of the "system"

    look deeper and they are not too happy intenally either

    limit your contact with them, jw style, it can make you sick.

    An space, (country?) should be set up for people who want to move away from...

    Who wants to write "Declaration of Indepence", constitution laws etc, history may repeat itself somehow.

    Those who can do it just "built" their own paradise....

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