Silly Bible Stories we once believed

by RULES & REGULATIONS 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Hanged Man
    Hanged Man

    As for the animals in twos.....Canis major and Canis Minor,Ursa major and Ursa minor,Asellus Borealis and Asellus Australis?

    Could the stories all be above our heads?....written in the stars?

  • Hanged Man
    Hanged Man

    Could Canis minor....the "little dog" also be behind the story of the gentile woman being called a "little dog"? As Jesus (the sun) makes his journey round the zodiac?

  • Hanged Man
    Hanged Man

    The "sweet influence of the Pleiades" is also easy to answer if you consider the stars.....The Pleiades are in the constellation of whoever on here has a birthday in the sign of will know that the sun is gaining in strength as we reach the middle of Spring in the northern hemisphere.......growth and fecundity have arrived.....happy times and busy times......this is the sweet influence of the Pleiades.....the happy days of Spring.....however....none of us can bind that sweet influence.....because darkness,cold and death will return again as the cycle of the year proceeds.

  • EverApostate

    When ever I feel a little depressed I read all these Bible stuff. Best humor that would cheer you up, guaranteed

    Earth created first and then the stars and the heavens

    Talking snake and Donkey

    Jacobs Sheep cloning.

    Samson and those blazing poor foxes.

    Solomon's 600 wives and 300 Concubines. And he is supposed to be the Wisest man on earth. Bibles definition for wise may be.

    Mary Impregnated by Holy Spirit. I underestimated Holy spirits dynamism.

    Baby Jesus has to escape to Egypt. What the heck ?? Jah didn't provide angelic protection ?

    Resurrected Zombies, after Jesus Death.

    I will release the second part some time later.

  • Rattigan350

    "Earth created first and then the stars and the heavens" That's not what the Bible says.

  • Betheliesalot

    Judges ch 21:11-12 12,000 well equipped soldiers went to "smite every male and woman that had lain by Man, and they found 400 virgins to bring to 'Shiloh'. How do soldiers determine a woman is a virgin? look? smell them? test them? This story is so funny, Im spraying this screen with tea , ha ha.

  • LoveUniHateExams

    How about Samson going ape-shit with the jawbone of an ass and killing a f**k ton of people.

    What the fuuu ...

  • EverApostate

    For Rattigan350 - I meant that the stars were created after the earth, as the Bible says

    1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth

    16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars

  • _Morpheus

    *please note: im not agreeing with the method, the hymen can break without incourse, just giving the bronze age method of determining the virginity of a woman


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