Muslims vs. JWs as friends
This is not meant to be a controversial discussion, but just mentioning what has happened to my daughter.
I personally started my fade early this year 2015, it has resulted in my losing all my so called JW friends and the brake-up of my marriage. When I split up with my wife, she asked our daughter who she would like to live with, my daughter decided to live with me, and also abandoned the cult.
Recently my daughter told me that she is very disappointed with the congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses because she thought she had friends there, but now she has realized that it was all conditional, not a single one of them has even remotely tried to keep contact with my daughter, she is 15, not baptized and never a publisher.
Now yesterday she met up with a Jehovah's Witness friend who is in another congregation. This friend is also 15, baptized since she was 14, a very dominant elder father, and has virtually no association outside JW circles, and also Internet access is banned at home. They have been friends with each other all their lives. This JW so called friend told my daughter that she no longer wants to be friends and wants nothing to do with my daughter. Naturally my daughter was heart-broken and she messaged a school friend who is Muslim, and the friend immediately messaged back she should stay where she is and is on her way to my daughter and that she will always be there for my daughter, this confirmed their friendship.
So who are true unconditional friends?
Muslims are lumped together with atheists , Catholics , Jews , Protestants as " worldly " people . No worldly person is taught to shun on command .
On the bright side your daughter learned a valuable lesson she will never forget , there is no way she is ever going to go back .So you don`t have to worry about that.
Thankfully she was never baptized which may have been a bit more stressful.
It brings up another question though , J.W,`s shun unbaptized people who no longer attend meetings?
I wish you and your daughter all the best , free from the restraints of a cult religion and to live your life the way you want to , and not be manipulated by other people who try to make you live the way they want you to live.
When a person at the door to door work rejects the message of a J.W, in the Field service are they then shunned ?
Isn`t that inconsistent ? / hypocritical even ?
yes smiddy they do, my husband no longer goes to the meetings, he has done so much for so many jw's they were always round when they wanted something from him & now nothing they shun him. He couldn't believe it at first he just said "so all that help means nothing cause I don't go to the KH?" Yes it means nothing. He was so shocked at how nasty they really have proven to be & so now they can F...Off. He doesn't even want them in his house. You (smiddy) sound surprised, don't be it's always the same with controlling people once you say no to them they go.
Driving force, your girl is better off without some stupid jw teenager who probably just said that to try & make her self feel better bout her own situation, the reality is she is most likely jealous of your daughter cause your a more loving father then her own. Why else be so nasty.
They are all lumped together, which makes them all better than JWs.
They do shun non-witnesses, as with my daughter, and I agree they are hypocritical. To think i was one of them for so long, I feel ashamed.
I have encouraged my daughter to let this girl know that the friendship and love my daughter has for her is still there, and that the friendship can always be restarted. I also know this girl and her father and mother, they are very dominant and decide everything for their girl, and I am sure that this girl was not behind this decision. At some point she will (I hope) brake away and my daughter will be there for her, as a true friend should be.
jhine: No worldly person is taught to shun on command .
You're kidding right? Shunning is a powerful form of abuse used by many religions including Orthodox Judaism, Islam and many Christian sects. How do you suppose the Muslim friend of Driving Force's daughter would be encouraged to treat a family member who apostatised from Islam?
And to be fair, it's used by non-religious communities too. Think of the caste system and even class divisions . .
What Nic said ^^^
And don't feel ashamed - you got out, and got your daughter out before she got hitched and kids, etc. and stuck "in" herself.
EDIT: She is 14, and I just had a thought. "Mean girls" are for real, and she should be prepared for high school. Watch "Clueless" together, which is a great adaptation of Jane Austen's "Emma", and maybe a conversation about the vagaries of high school. Just a thought.
With different people and different actors you could have a JW giving comfort to a Muslim who has been shunned (even threatened with being killed).
So does that make JW's true friends?
I think being becoming a JW is kind of like becoming a smoker. If they haven’t got you by the time you are 18, they just aren’t going to get you.
Please get her involved in something. Playing sports, playing music, going to another church etc etc . You are so close to having her free. She will make other friends.
Smiddy said "When a person at the door to door work rejects the message of a J.W, in the Field service are they then shunned ?"
Made me think about going out in service when I was a child and hearing publishers say after a house where the person was not interested things like "that old goat" (said in a very sneering way) or "shake the dirt off our feet" (referring to the dirt of the yard of the house). If you are not one of them, you are nobody. In their minds, you have no right to believe any other way but how they believe.