Convention program "Give God Glory"
Drinking alcohol per se isn't a vice, but alcohol abuse is.
Drinking alcohol per se isn't a vice, but alcohol abuse is.
Thanks Johnny, I see it is pretty much the same boring line up as every other year.
Most people consider drinking, smoking and gambling to be vices. Hence my reference. Could clamping down on "abuse" be the thin end of the wedge?
11:50 Keynote Address: Glorious Prophetic Visions Spur Us On!2:35 Symposium: The Prophecy of Amos—Its Message for Our Day--2 prophecy talks about Amos and what is the key scripture from Amos that the WTS is always using:Amos 3:7-8
For the Sovereign Lord Jehovah will not do a thing unless he has revealed his confidential matter to his servants the prophets.
3:45 Avoid the Snare of Alcohol Abuse--more and more elders are falling into this snare and are useless figureheads; there are so few other elders left that they are stuck with really doing the chores
Publication Release?4:05 Jehovah, Our ‘Fortress in Times of Distress’
4:30 "The Good Land"—Foregleam of Paradise
Removing the Veil From Those Blinded--apostate warning talk11:10 Hated Without Cause--Apostate warning talk
3:05 "Be Liberal, Ready to Share"--You are not giving enough money to the WTS
3:40 Beware of "the Voice of Strangers"--Apostate warning talk4:30 Our Children—A Precious Inheritance (BOOK?)
10:00 Parents, Build Up the Family Circle--The same family will be used for all 2 or 3 congregations in the same DC city because so few families qualify (and those that do have either lied about their family situation or will have their children all leave the "troof" in the next few years
10:20 How Youths Are Praising Jehovah (see above)11:10 DRAMA: Boldly Witnessing Despite Opposition--an apostate persecution part
Oh NO! After we finish the Isaiah book it's on to the study of Amos.
They love those obscure prophetic books now that they have failed at explaining Daniel & Revelation.
If anyone is desparate to partake of this fine spiritual feast, remember that God is very selective in who can hear his fine message ... you have to wear a cheap piece of cardboard or else you are doomed to eternal death
Very funny, Simon
We appreciate the time you spent doing that for us.
Hmmm, time for a Convention Programme remix!
“YOU ARE WORTHY, JEHOVAH,…TO RECEIVE THE GLORY.” — Revelation 4:11
(Note: "Glory" = "Money")
9:40 Song No. 96 and Prayer
9:50 Assembled to Glorify God
(Speaker yawns repeatedly during this one)
10:20 Blessed Are Those Who Give Glory to God
10:50 Song No. 79 and Announcements
(Will you give glory to ghod at lunchtime? There are glory boxes scattered around the Convention center!)
11:00 Creation Declares the Glory of God
(By giving his Organization money, of course)
11:20 Walk in the Way of integrity
(And don't forget to give glory to Ghod)
11:50 Keynote Address: Glorious Prophetic Visions Spur Us On!
(More glory! Glory glory glory! Nheehahaha! Jeeves, bring the cat, we're leaving!!!!)
12:20 Song No. 63 and Intermission
(Now y'all can head for McDonald's!)
(End thy conversation now, peon!)
2:10 Song No. 111
2:15 Jehovah's Glory Revealed to Humble Ones
(We take a guided tour through the Patterson Branch. Ah, the GLORY!!!)
2:35 Symposium: The Prophecy of Amos—Its Message for Our Day
Speak God’s Word With Boldness
Divine Judgment Against the Wicked
Jehovah Examines the Heart
(Getting off the topic of GLORY, let's have a look at apocalyptic prophecy, our other great love!)
3:35 Song No. 160 and Announcements
3:45 Avoid the Snare of Alcohol Abuse
(Why spend your money on alcohol when you could be giving GLORY to Ghod?)
4:05 Jehovah, Our ‘Fortress in Times of Distress’
(He's like Fort Knox, only Fort Knox has less money!)
4:30 “The Good Land”—Foregleam of Paradise
5:00 Song No. 4 and Closing Prayer
“DECLARE AMONG THE NATIONS HIS GLORY.” — Psalm 96:3
(But don't you dare take them for guided tours at Patterson, peons!)
9:40 Song No. 59 and Prayer
9:50 Daily Text Reminders Stir Us to Declare God’s Glory
(You thought we'd forget about his GLORY? HAHAH!)
10:00 Symposium: “Reflect Like Mirrors the Glory of Jehovah”
Spreading the Good News Everywhere
Removing the Veil From Those Blinded
Doing So More Fully in Our Ministry
(And now for three talks in a row about....GLORY!!!!!!!!)
11:00 Song No. 193 and Announcements
11:10 Hated Without Cause
(So we created an enormous cockup, but Dateline was still an Apostate endeavour!)
11:40 Living Up to Our Dedication Glorifies God
(And now, back to GLORY!)
12:10 Song No. 202 and Intermission
(McDonald's truly loves the Conventions...apparently they ordered extra hamburger buns just for this weekend!)
2:10 Song No. 18
2:15 Cultivating a Christlike View of Greatness
(Behold the Greatness of your Ruling Class, a bunch of 8 men who fall asleep during voting!)
2:35 Tired but Not Tiring Out
(lit. "Any day now!")
3:05 “Be Liberal, Ready to Share”
(Share your GLORY!)
3:30 Song No. 12 and Announcements
3:40 Beware of “the Voice of Strangers”
(Don't listen to Bill Bowen, that Apostate!)
4:10 Glorify God “With One Mouth”
(You'll find out the details by listening to the talk!)
4:30 Our Children—A Precious Inheritance
(Don't forget to spank them hard, regularly!)
5:00 Song No. 164 and Closing Prayer
“DO ALL THINGS FOR GOD’S GLORY” — 1 Corinthians 10:31
9:40 Song No. 175 and Prayer
9:50 Daily Text Reminders Help Us to Glorify Jehovah
(It never ends!)
10:00 Parents, Build Up the Family Circle
(This way, your kids can give us glory when you're six feet under! What a wonderfully profitable arrangement, dontchathink?)
10:20 How Youths Are Praising Jehovah
(Hint: It doesn't involve the transgressions mentioned in the Youth Book!)
11:00 Song No. 157 and Announcements
11:10 DRAMA: Boldly Witnessing Despite Opposition
(Undercover Witnesses speak out: How we slipped Watchtowers into Russian people's pants without their knowledge!)
11:55 Declare the Good News "Without Letup"
(Real soon now!)
12:15 Song No. 92 and Intermission
1:50 Song No. 201 and Prayer
2:00 Public Discourse: Who Are Giving God Glory Today?
(Hint: Only you idiots sitting in front of me!)
2:45 Song No. 113 and Announcements
2:50 Summary of The Watchtower
(As if the Convention wasn't bad enough)
3:20 “Keep Bearing Much Fruit” to Jehovah’s Glory
(Our profit margins are falling, dumbasses. Fix it!)
4:05 Song No. 212 and Closing Prayer
[SYN], Most Grateful As A Dub When LEAVING The Conventions Class.