Give Love to Receive Love ???
There is very little genuine love in the WBT$ corporation.
The disgusting governing Body of the JWs are heartless, selfish scam artists only interested in their own well being.
Their vile, self serving narcissistic attitude filters down from them and into the congregations.
This is why you can't discern love. There is no real love, just the cult conditional love that would turn to hate the moment you deny their gods, the GB.
The whole thing screams, 'dangerous cult!'
In the past 20 years we have been in 4 different Congregations. Every Cong has its own "personality", which I believe is based on several things:
1) the elders and their personalities/attitudes -- because MS's and up-and-coming suckasses and delusional R&F will emulate the attitude of the elders;
2) the cliques, esp family cliques in the Cong -- Congs with big families that wield influence are notorious for being divisive and exclusionary, esp of others who are "different" from them (too poor, too rich, too smart, etc)
3) the affluence in the Cong or the area in which it is located -- yep, money talks and if you ain't got it in that affluent Cong then you won't fit it, and if you do have it in that poor, disadvantaged Cong then you possibly will be resented (unless you're rich enough to give all those poor folks a good job in your business)
4) your position -- if you come in as a Society appointed move-in, you're likely to be loved because others will see you as someone to follow up the rungs on the ladder. If your changing Congs because your old Cong wouldn't appoint you, the local BOE is going to question your motives (unless they have an ongoing grudge with the old Cong's BOE)
LOVE? Remember, love was to be an indicator of Jesus' TRUE DISCIPLES. Get the picture?
Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I am currently under a psychiatrist (although I only get to see them 2 or 3 times a year). I also had psychotherapy for around 2 years and CBT before that. None of which seemed to help so they just kept upping and changing my medication which also doesn't seem to help.
You say you’ve been in that many congregations? You still attend? How could you stand it?
Back in the day I saw that some changed congregations to escape some unpleasant situation. It was almost always over extreme and cruel gossip that shredded people OR cruel exclusionary cliques. I changed congregations only once: to get away from the watchful eyes of the person/persons I ‘studied’ with. These people thought I was going to give an account of why I missed a meeting. I wasn’t tolerating that shit.
I would have to say the cliques were the worst. The born-ins were really pretty bad as far as I was concerned! Morons acted like I was Typhoid Mary because I had a full time job. But, I’m GLAD I never listened to them. I held onto my job until retirement.😉
You say you’ve been in that many congregations? You still attend? How could you stand it? ~ LongHairGirl
LHG, evidently™ you missed the words "HAVE BEEN" -- as in, USED TO ATTEND!
You are right though about "COULDN'T STAND IT"! At least not anymore. Now, I just wonder how we did so for soooo long?
Hello IMHO. Though I agree that there is a lack of expressed love in the congregation but I think you may be right, it may be you. Now don't get excited. I am saying that as a person who is seeking psychiatric help you must be exhibiting some social symptoms which people pick up on and then avoid. Its odd but even the nicest people avoid "sick" people. If you are withdrawn you will attract only the most compassionate people. These people only help so long before they become overwhelmed by their efforts for so many. They give up and you find their interest was more for self assurance that they are not depressed. Do not give up. There are people in between the judgemental and the pitying thespians. In life you are doing well to find one true friend, in or out of the KH. Sometimes its your mate if you're lucky. Just keep trying to be who you are, a person trying to lessen anxiety and confront the world with more confidence. All the best!
IMHO, just a shot in the dark. have you had your thyroid levels checked? A complete panel with the free t3 included? T3 in higher levels can cause anxiety that won't seem to go away, regardless. . Just a thought.
My therapist told me to do not deep breathe, but slow breath, for a hour of you need to, just breathe very slow when you feel the anxiety coming on until you relax. That may help you feel less anxiety which can translate to feeling like making friends, or find one comfortable friend. Whatever makes you feel good. Animals are also great stress relievers.