So I got married a few weeks ago, living a great life now with my husband, he was definitely the perfect guy for me :) but anyways, we are going to work on slowly fading, going to meetings once a week or every two weeks, and then in a few months move to a hall where nobody knows our families and the elders hardly know each other, and fade out a lot more. But an elder asked for our address, which we didn’t feel comfortable giving him, because we don’t want any unexpected visits to “Shepard” us, when we miss a few meetings, because they already text us when we miss 2 meetings in a row, which we had just gotten back from our honeymoon 🙄 so we “accidentally” gave him the wrong apartment number. So if they ever come pokin around they will be lost, and if they call or text us we will just have an excuse for not replying. Hopefully by that time we will be moved anyways. Have you guys ever done something like this? Do you think we’ll get away with it? I know they probably want it for emergency reasons too, but I’m sure we can handle ourselves, especially since we still have family 15 minutes away.
Giving fake address to elder
I remember when i started my fade, there were 2 or 3 occasions where the eldubs came knocking for a shepherding call, and i decided to not open the door. Just didn't want to explain anything. If they did come today, I would welcome a conversation.
Would be best if you faded altogether. If you stick around they will find a way to know where you live.
I’m glad you did that but the idiots will find you anyway since it’s an apartment building. All they have to do is inquire with a general description about you and some unsuspecting person will tell them the lovely couple lives in Apt #..
You are going to have to be a little more firm or absolutely ignore them! Good luck running and evading these pests until they give up.
Absolutely. So easy to play off if you ever get called out on it in the future.
If you just give a different apartment number, though, if he ever comes looking and he has the right apartment complex, you may be easier to find than you think. Personally, I would give a different apartment complex. If it ever comes up, you can just say you had been looking at those apartments and got them mixed up, or were supposed to move there, but this new apartment came available at the last minute. But avoid that conversation at all cost, because you'll more than likely be expected, or feel the need to divulge your true address, and you can really only play this off once.
If you are moving out of town, just give them a different town address. An adjacent city, or town is easy enough to "visit" their hall while you fade, or in an "emergency" situation, but isn't in their territory, for them to happen upon you while in fs. And you can use the same excuse as above, or another, like; we decided at the last minute to move closer to work, or this new place was more convenient for work, etc...
As we were looking over the old place, a neighbor told us they had bedbugs/mice/mold/noisy kids/fight constantly/horrible odor/insert other horror story, so we opted for a different place.
Try something different, tell the truth. You gave the wrong number because you don't want any visits, scheduled or otherwise, right now. (apologize if you feel it necessary). You've moved to start anew in a different congregation, since your marriage, in order to have new memories starting from that point. You will cherish all the old memories but this is your decision. Tell them, we'll call you. Done.
One thing that can work for you is your newlyweds. If they do find you and ask why your not at meetings as much just say “well we’re newlyweds and we’re just really enjoying each other if you know what I mean” . They’ll usually leave you alone for awhile.
Telling the truth is always the best option. No need to remember what you said, or further lie to keep consistent. But sometimes you have to wage spiritual warfare. 😁
If you are trying to spare others, or yourself, grief, and you are non confrontational, you may need to alter the facts a little. Absolutely nothing wrong with this. They hold no authority over you. You do not answer to them. It is none of their business. The information you provide, they may use against you at a later date. Giving them misleading information is a protection of your mental and spiritual well being. Spiritual warfare.
I brought a buddy of mine to the hall one time and a Ministerial Servant I knew asked for his phone number within two minutes of meeting him. He gave him a fake number and the next time I saw the Witness he said he tried calling him and the number wasn't in service, did he write the number down wrong? I stifled a laugh as I insisted no no, that's his number, give it another try.
In other words, good for you. Be shrewd as serpents, right?
Tell them you have to keep your address secret because you are in the witness protection plan.
I always give out wrong numbers ,addresses and emails and occasionally even my name. I have always been this way. Its my number, address, so long and so forth.Its mine to give or hold back.
Yes even to bros and sis, be it for whatever (emergency),I do not give two hoots who it is .
Life is beautiful !