by neverendingjourney 11 Replies latest jw friends
And I can't wish him a happy birthday.
They converted when I was an infant, so birthdays were never a thing for us. Still, I'd love to be able to throw him a party, surround him with friends and family, and show him how much he's appreciated.
They've been good about my fading. I stopped going to meetings 12 years ago and they've never asked tough questions. Don't ask don't tell. It works for us.
Just let him know how much you care about him.
He will appreciate it, I believe.
What a blessing for him to reach the Biblical three score and ten!
Love.
Sylvia
Tell him happy birthday from me.
Give him a big hug and tell him how much he means to you.....
Tell him about something he said or did that made you happy or inspired you when you were a child....
Use the trick that my JW mother did. She always called her children in her birthdays., She just called to ask how are we, and in the conversation she would squeeze in something like, you know it was a day like to day that I gave birth to you, as if it was a coincidence. She always acknowledged my birthday.
I hope that works for you if you feel it's difficult to do it the traditional, normal way.
It's funny. A few minutes after I posted this thread I got a call from my dad. He was rambling on about a bunch of different subjects.. Then he started telling a story about how he coincidentally found something he'd lost and had been looking for a long time. He said he thought it was a coincidence that he found it on the day he turned 70.
So in his own way he wanted to call and acknowledge the milestone. I'll try to do something nice for him during an upcoming weekend when it can't be so directly be tied to his birthday.
The effort a JW makes to avoid mentioning their birthday as if it's something immoral....the double dealing that goes on trying to communicate with loved ones........the pathetic need to avoid breaking a phony rule made up by old Bethel members in their desperate attempt, once again, to set this religion apart by withholding the simple pleasure of being seen in a slightly different light on this one day a year......
By steadfastly avoiding our birthdays our beliefs became a substitute for the lost faith in ourselves.
I think it is worse when you start from birth telling your child that it is evil. If you came in as an adult, you have memories of happy birthdays up until then. But I have found that unhappy non-jw families do not necessarily celebrate or find it a happy time.
If you came in as an adult, you have memories of happy birthdays up until then.
I remember seeing pictures of my older siblings in Halloween costumes. My parents destroyed all pictures that showed them celebrating holidays/birthday or where they were inside a church, so it was a rare find. It must have slipped through the cracks. I wonder if it still exists.
