UnshackleTheChains, Freddo added clarity to my message: If they make a JC on you, its because they already feel that you are "causing division". If, in addition, you use the Elder's book, they could see that as "brazen conduct". And to say: Someone told me long ago... is selling them short, they'd probably see right through your BS.
My best advice is this: You can stay in contact with your disfellowshipped family. However, when someone rats on you, you need to say it was to deal with a family crisis. If they ask you what it was, simply say:
"It involves confidential matters impacting others, so I cannot share any of its details. Brothers, you need to trust me. And please, understand that I have a problematic family, so I do not expect this to be the last encounter that may be reported on to you. Still, I will do everything I can to be as discreet as possible."
What sucks though is that this prevents you from doing normal social activities like: Going to the movies, play bowling, go to the beach, etc.
In the end, it all depends on the local elders and especialy the number of bad mouths that will report to them on everything they can.