by UnshackleTheChains 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Ok let's say, they quietly still associate after being counselled and the person is respectful.
I wonder how many ex elders/current elders out there take advantage of this loophole when it comes to their own disfellowshipped or disassociated relatives.
I tried this. I took a photo of the page from Shepherd The Flock Of God and sent it to my family (i think it's page 116?). My mum replied that it's clearly an apostate fake because the elders dont have a secret handbook!
Pale emporer. That's incredible and really sad. But the thing is, you have informed her and have layed the ground work for her to check out and confirm this for herself.
The JW org article is misleading. Although a JW can fade , they are still watched and monitored , formally or informally. To paraphrase The Eagles - "You can check out any time you want , but you can never leave."
Because the Society has a plethora of Pharisaical rules , sooner or later , its possible / probable that the fader might do something that gets them into trouble. Something as simple as putting up Xmas decorations or maybe a "Vote X" card in the window or yard. Or they may say something "negative" about the Org to a still-in "friend" or relative. Or they might wear a poppy (UK) or display a flag. A faded ex-JW friend of mine got a lot of trouble when he simply "liked" a post on Facebook that some JWs who were still on his friends list saw on his Facebook feed & reported to the elders.
Any of these "misdemeanors" can result in them being officially disfellowshipped and there isn't really any "statute of limitations" -a long faded friend of mine started a new relationship , the elders got to hear of it on the grapevine and after a brutal interrogation about whether she was living with or having sex with her new boyfriend she was DFd - 5 years after she attended her last meeting.
i resigned in 1971--aged 23. i had been a pioneer and a servant before. i still attended the occasional meeting to appease my born-in wife. most congregation members continued to talk to me--a few didnt. this went on till '81--when my wife divorced me--on scriptural grounds. i never went to a meeting ever again.
my jw parents accepted my decision--and never shunned me. we only rarely touched on any watchtower subjects.. mum passed in '98..dad early this year--aged 95. i was all he had left in his life.
i wonder what goes on in a persons mind---if they find TTATT--but carry on the sham for the sake of family reasons and friendships----as they get older. what is it like to look back in anger at all the years wasted--just for the sake of other stupid selfish people ?
I haven't properly spoken to my Dad for over 12 years now, just the passing comment here and there, since I was Df'd, it's the same situation with a friend of mine. However there is another friend who is also Df'd still has regular with his parents who are still serving Witnesses. I accept my position, the same as I did when I got Df'd, I knew exactly how it would be. The one thing though, that I find unacceptable, is the scenarion above whereby my friend and I are shunned, but another friend of mine isn't with no discernible consequences.
Saying that though my sister, who was born and raised a JW and no longer practices, was never baptised and now celebrates nigh on everything under the sun, is not shunned by my Dad or other Witnesses. I would have thought, though, that someone who's life was spent as Witness and therefore knows the 'rights and wrongs' would be equally as shunned as I?
It's seemingly OK to be brought up as Witness and spend your life being indocrined into the religion so it seeps through your very core, to then turn away and do everything a Witness shouldn't do, and not be shunned because you weren't baptised.
Like others have mentioned, it looks great on paper but the reality of how they treat people who choose to leave is completely different.
They have to provide means for people to leave to cover their backs legally. That's why they have that policy, no other reason.
Scratch me.
You hit the nail on the head. I can bet that they have this loop hole for legal reasons because legally they cannot stop a mother from associating with her daughter and vice versa
UnshackleTheChains, Freddo added clarity to my message: If they make a JC on you, its because they already feel that you are "causing division". If, in addition, you use the Elder's book, they could see that as "brazen conduct". And to say: Someone told me long ago... is selling them short, they'd probably see right through your BS.
My best advice is this: You can stay in contact with your disfellowshipped family. However, when someone rats on you, you need to say it was to deal with a family crisis. If they ask you what it was, simply say:
"It involves confidential matters impacting others, so I cannot share any of its details. Brothers, you need to trust me. And please, understand that I have a problematic family, so I do not expect this to be the last encounter that may be reported on to you. Still, I will do everything I can to be as discreet as possible."
What sucks though is that this prevents you from doing normal social activities like: Going to the movies, play bowling, go to the beach, etc.
In the end, it all depends on the local elders and especialy the number of bad mouths that will report to them on everything they can.
Hmm.
I wonder if this might be why my active JW Mom still frequently associates with us.
We're well-known to the local JW congregation now (in part, because of my Mom), quite obviously inactive and showing no signs of changing that, but I've obviously not been pegged as a "mentally diseased apostate" (probably because I don't play the part).
The past few months, she hasn't been talking about the Org, JWs, or the Bible nearly as much as she used to.
