Positive Topic - ‘Good Elders’ or Extra Special Kindness shown by elders

by Farmer Jim1 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Farmer Jim1
    Farmer Jim1

    After the last topic getting me mad, does anyone have a positive experience of dealing with an elder or a particular favourite elder that was a top bloke?

  • _Morpheus

    Its a tough call, honestly. Id like to think i was a good guy as an elder, always tried to be understanding and helpful, and id bet that every former cult middle manager on this forum would say the same... but in the end we were cult middle managers and ultimately were applying cult rules. No matter how cool we tried to be we were still cult middle managers.

    The “cool” part was the human in us, not the elder.

  • jwundubbed

    There was an elderly elder in one of my congregations. I can't remember his name now and never could have spelt it. He was kind, always. He was a gentleman and believed in being a gentleman. He spoke softly. He never reprimanded his children in public. He was the first elder to make house calls to people who were infirm, hurting, struggling, and he never passed judgement on them. He may have had the wrong message but he always had good intentions and he just wanted to help people. He let people say what they wanted to say and if it contradicted the organization... he still just let it sit with everyone for a while. Then, if he made an argument it was done with kindness and from a bible point of view. He never made anyone feel like they were stupid or wrong, he just showed them a different way of looking at things. I never saw him disrespect a disfellowshiped person. He showed them the same kindness that he showed everyone else. I'm sure he had worries and conflicts in his life but he never displayed them or imposed his hardships on other people.

    When he got really old he started to go senile. He started saying silly things that made no sense. But the brothers never stopped calling on him when he raised his hands. He was so kind that everyone felt a real kindred spirit towards him. He got back the same kind of behaviors that he put towards others.

    As far as I know he lived most if not all of his life in the cult. He was a kind and good man. I am really glad that I got to be in the same congregation as him. In or out of the cult, he was someone who knew how to treat people.

  • DesirousOfChange

    I know of a couple elders that I think were exceptionally good guys. (I'd like to think I was OK.) But like Morpheus says, ALL elders were still there to enforce Corporate Rules. We thought that was the "right thing" to do. We thought we were serving God (instead of G.O.D.s). The difference is that some guys got the big head and were "full of themselves" and their position. Others (and I think especially those re-appointed a 2nd time) had some empathy and compassion.

  • gma-tired2

    I've known several sincere loving elders, I've known some loving elders who became very judgemental and I've known some who were nasty from day one

  • scratchme1010
    After the last topic getting me mad, does anyone have a positive experience of dealing with an elder or a particular favourite elder that was a top bloke?

    No. The elders I knew were a bunch of dumb asses, abusive, disrespectful, narcissistic and/or homosexual closet cases. Sorry I can't help you feel positive.

  • Lets Think
    Lets Think

    As an exelder I think Morpheus hit the nail on the head. I was the same. I knew many good guy elders, but in the end they tow the party line and will even do evil things if instructed.

  • stuckinarut2

    Yes. In fact @wakemeupbeforeyoujo-ho 's father was one of the good ones!

    As an Elder, he was always mild and calm. A great example even in the face of some really unwarranted and grossly unfair treatment. He displayed such dignity when forced to step down, that I feel he taught a great deal by means of his example.

    He also was one of the only elders who really put forth effort in tailoring a shepherding visit to the needs of individuals.

    He also took his assignments very seriously, and put tremendous effort into his parts.

    Another elder that comes to mind is one that is no longer alive sadly. As I was fading, he took time to catch up for coffee a few times. He heard my concerns about some inappropriate things occurring in the cong by other Elders. He said something along the lines that "I will not rest until these matters are sorted" He also told me something once that still makes me wonder if he was kind of awake? "Never stop researching things"

    We attended his khall funeral farce. Ironically, it was given by one of the very elders he assured me he was going to investigate!

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    @stuckinarut2 I got a bit emotional reading that. Thank you for paying homage to Wake Me Up Sr. This man has such a brilliant mind. He is a scholar in his own right with a capacity for knowledge that sometimes appears to be limitless. And after more than half a century of service to Watchtower, his potential has been completely encumbered. Such a waste that saddens me to no end.

  • westiebilly11

    Very much so. I've been fortunate to know several truly kind, helpful, human elders over the years. Sadly, most have since died in those 35 years or so. My first study was with a lovely elder who went out of his way to help me practically and emotionally. He had a young family but still made time for me, a single man , living on my own. At Christmas time he'd invite me round to spend some time with his family and he gave up weekends to repair my car, fix a towbar, and even invited me to go camping with him and his family. He wasn't grooming me, or 'love bombing' me as some do. I shall always remember him fondly. Sadly he died some ten years ago from cancer. Another elder was giving the first talk I ever heard (Noah and the Ark...) and over the years showed me great friendship. Even after I was DF for 'brazen conduct' ( another story..another time..) he gave me a smile when I bravely attended meetings, and would gently pat my shoulder in a welcoming manner. I always remember him saying: "I've eaten enough of this loaf to know it's genuine" with reference to the 'Truth'...He too, has only recently died. Whilst there are some dodgy. fake elders who seek the badge and 'glory', and are elders only through nepotistic networks, whilst keeping their hands clean from menial tasks,, there are some who are truly gems and serve because they really do care. I miss those good ones.

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