Were You Surprised You Remained a JW As Long As You Did?
I was a blind fool to take so lomng to wake up to the fact that I was chasing a dream that had no basis in reality.
I suppose time was a deciding factor . You 'keep the faith" , prove you are not a fair weather Christian, be an example to the others. Eventually though I got concerned. What had gone wrong?
If the net had been around years before, maybe ?.But I only had information from the WTS . To get a book by an opposer would be a big step, so I didn't.
A tale of a wasted life......
I was in a fade for an extremely long time and didn't even realize the disconnect I was experiencing....but bad old habits die hard. In retrospect I wish I'd gone with my gut feeling and extricated myself years earlier than I did....
I think what many of us go through is simply "the journey ".
I am both surprised and saddened that it took me so long to wake up. I was always asking questions that Elders and even C.O's couldn't answer satisfactorily, and I was a natural rebel.
The Internet was my big eye-opener, but later than it should have been.
I realised after I left that for those 58 years in, I had never been truly happy, it was only once free that I felt comfortable as the real me, and experienced true happiness.
How I wish my parents had not joined shortly before I was born !
But I am now able to enjoy the real life, and be the real me.
No, not surprised. Through the years I always had questions and doubts, but I wanted to make it work. I had too much time invested. I tried every way I could to ignore the cognitive dissonance and all the "new light" adjustments. The internet, of course, but more than that, reading Crises of Conscience was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
The average person will endure quite a bit if he's been conditioned from childhood to believe his survival depends on it.
Vid u r rite on!!!!