Do You Tend To Give People The Benefit of the Doubt Or Do You Mostly Judge?

by minimus 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hamas
    Hamas

    About a year ago I was quick to judge anybody.

    Now, I give people a lot of benefit !

  • minimus
    minimus

    Thunder, I enjoyed the depth of your post. You seem to be a very in tune person. And yes, life's too short to waste time on people unnecessarily. But, I too feel that I'm a good judge of character and have been pleasantly surprised by how wrong I can be at times.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    I used to always give people the benefit of the doubt. Even if my gut reaction told me diferently. Boy, did I get screwed. Now I rely on my gut only. So far, I have been pretty successful in discerning personalities.

    Not too long ago, I went to see my sister who had a guest (new acquaintance) over visiting. I was a little aloof, which is unlike me. My sister privately asked me what was up. I told her that I had the distinct feeling that her guest was a thief. My sister told me no, her friend wasn't a thief. Having known a few thieves, I remained firm in my assessment of this woman. I told my sister to at least keep an eye on her guest.

    Later that night, my sister called and told me that after I left, her guest had started talking about some of the things that she shoplifted. Her guest thought that shop lifting was great fun and had offered to pick my sister up a few things the next time she was out. My sister was appalled by what this woman told her and no longer associates with her.

    IMO, you should always trust your gut. It may save you much heartache.

    Robyn

  • minimus
    minimus

    Robdar, I think this means your psychic.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Robdar, I think this means your psychic. Hahaha Min. Not quite. However, a sixth sense is really nothing more than paying attention to your other senses and drawing a conclusion from them. It has been my experience that thieves have a certain gleam in their eye. A gleam that says, I am smarter than the average bear. What thieves fail to realize is that they are not smarter, they are just more immoral. Whereas most people will see an opportunity to steal, they wont steal. Theives have no qualms about it and think that the rest of us are stupid. Robyn

  • minimus
    minimus

    But what if the thief is blind???

  • Thunder Rider
    Thunder Rider

    Pleasant suprises are always welcome Minimus. But no expectations means no dissapointments. An earned reputation far more valuable than an infered one.

    Thunder ( of few but true friends class)

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    But what if the thief is blind??? Hahahahahahahaha, good one!

  • minimus
    minimus

    Thunder, you sound like my wife. As an elder, I would get to know some of the things certain people went through.I'm referring to family problems, emotional or mental issues, etc. Some persons were at times nasty. They weren't awful people but they weren't persons that you could easily get along with. I would always tell my wife to think about their background and try to give them the benefit of the doubt. She would respond that so-and-so is still a complaining jerk and will probably talkabout me too, when they have the opportunity.....The bottom line: She usually was right. I try to think that there's good in nearly all people and sometimes it's worth trying to see it. But experience shows that this attitude can almost always pretty much get ya screwed.

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