Hello BiggerRed I'm sorry to hear about your troubles - it's hard adjusting. May I make a suggestion? I would not see this situation as you having to "save" your wife; otherwise if it didn't work out the way you hoped it will only put a strain on the relationship between her and your kids. As hard as it sounds, you may have to learn to let it go and accept this religion as just "that thing" (put it in box that doesn't irritate you, which comes with time). In a sense, the religion is not just an annoying "virus" - it kind of defines a person (their tastes, their desires etc). So as much as one can relate it to high control groups (fear/guilt/shame/manipulation etc), it also has other flavours that cannot just be brushed away as worthless. If you respect these parts, BUT at the same time, express your view tactfully (as some have suggested, drip feed) then it will be kinder on your family, and most importantly, on yourself. Take care of your own emotions first, then the rest (relationships etc) will fall into place.
Whatever method you chose, I wish you well on your journey! It's not easy but there's definitely light at the end of the tunnel.
PS - I made my screen-name some years ago, so as you may have guessed I'm not exactly the model JW anymore :)