You Know You're A Jehovah's Witness When...

by pale.emperor 27 Replies latest social humour

• 

  LongHairGal

  MAGNUM:

  True. I recently contacted an old JW acquaintance to bring them up to date about my life and where I was living. This person knows I don’t go anymore.

  I got a response laced with the preachiness of what’s going on in the country, etc. and how everybody has been ‘warned’. I guess they are waiting for divine vengeance to come any day now so that pesky 99% of the human race will be wiped out - and they can finally move into that wealthy person’s mansion they admire so much..After all, they ‘deserve’ it because they have been so ‘faithful’ making Witness meetings for all these years and got all those hours in..Right?
• 

  3rdgen

  You know you grew up a Jehovah's Witness when:

  Your mother didn't use her wooden spoon for cooking.

  You got it with the belt for turning around in your seat during the meeting.

  You knew you would be kicked out of the house if you ever got disfellowshipped or pregnant

  Sorry, not funny
• 

  3rdgen

  You know you're a JW if:

  You are late for the meeting and they seat you in the front row.

  You think reading Awake is the equivalent of a college education.

  You spend more time at your coffee break than you did in "the work".
• 

  resolute Bandicoot

  a day ago

  You know you're a JW if:

  You are a young man and you are given the 3rd degree for first car only having Two doors.

  RB
• 

  smiddy3

  When you get screwed over by a JW business man because ,business is business .

  And I have heard that a number of times from brothers in various congregations.

  Sad but true.
• 

  LongHairGal

  RESOLUTE BANDICOOT:

  Years ago an older busybody sister made a similar remark about not getting a two-door car to me when I was shopping for another car. I told her something along the lines of: “If they agree to make my car payments..I’ll get any kind of car they want.”..

  SMIDDY3:

  The mentality in the religion is that you should ‘expect’ trouble from people in the congregation (the excuse of ‘imperfection’ and all that) - AND you’re supposed to ‘take it’. I never had any business dealings with any so-called ‘brothers’ and avoided them like the plague.

  And with what’s happened in the religion in the last two decades with studies being started with seriously dysfunctional people.. (so they can fill the empty seats in the hall)..I’m very GLAD I’m not there because I would see the handwriting on the wall.
• 

  VIII

  LOL at the Awake being the equivalent to a college education!!

  Heard from my Mom this morning that she heard on the news the words “Peace and Security” and she asked if I understood what that meant...

  I said nothing. Since it’s been said by countless politicians countless times and Armageddon hasn’t happened. She gasped and got quiet.

  The JW desire to see us all fry is never ending.
• 

  apostatethunder

  You know you are a Jehovah's Witness when there is a Biblical text that apply to any situation, even if it has nothing to do with the Bible.