sister Df'd 26 years ago, wants to come back now

by ApagaLaLuz 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • ApagaLaLuz

    I have an older sister who is 48. She was a Regular Pioneer and married a Ministerial Servant. 26 years ago she was DF'd and divorced him. She had moved away before I was even born. I have seen her twice in my life and only for a brief afternoon. She was completely cut off from the rest of the family.

    Today I answered the phone at my parent's house. She told me she wanted to come back, and wanted to talk to my mom about getting a hold of the Elders in her area. I said 'now why in world would you ever want to do that?' She just said it was time after all these years. I told her I'd give my mom her message, but I told her to research online first. I told her about the UN and Silent Lambs. She said she was already aware of them.

    Any advise? Nothing much I can do right? Grown people make their own desicions

  • twinkletoes

    How about treating her to Raymond Franz's book - Crisis of Conscience, that really helped me to make up my mind.


  • ApagaLaLuz

    Thank you twinkle toes. I may try that. Though I've never actually read it myself so I'm not sure what would be in store for her.

    p.s. thanks alot for responding. seems lately no one wants to respond to me. must've upset the flock or something

    later peeps

  • outnfree


    You haven't upset me!??? Dunno what that's all about... BUT

    I don't really have any better advice than twinkletoes... make her a gift of Crisis of Conscience.

    You know how so many ex-JWs still walk around thinking they are doomed to death at Armageddon, that even if the Society is wrong on whatever things have personally affected them they are right about the big things? She needs to know how the GB works: by a majority vote just like any other corporate board of directors, not by prayerful consideration and the consensus of opinion of the worldwide anointed. She needs to know about Mexico and Malawi and the letter to Hitler. She needs to understand that it will never be "time". The Witnesses are NOT God's mouthpiece, so she'll have to continue to make her own way in life.

    Good luck!


  • fairy

    Maybe she's just feeling "left out"

  • acsot

    What happened to me, to settle my doubts that maybe, just maybe, they were still right somehow, in spite of the hateful attitude of many, the power-wielding elders, the light blinking on and off and changing colors every few months, was reading many of AlanF's essays, as well as checking out Beans' website ( Ray Franz’ essay on the Flood was much more logical to me than the JW/fundamentalist version of a world-wide flood. After reading these treatises, any doubt or fear I had that maybe I was turning my back on something good disappeared completely. Check out the links, maybe print them and see if your sister will read it.

    If there’s no love in the WTS, and doctrinally they aren’t telling the truth, what’s left?

  • cruzanheart

    Chevy, I think you should first of all try to re-establish a relationship with her and let her know how much you love her as part of your family. Then perhaps you can talk about how you feel about the organization and see why she wants to come back. I agree, I think she's lonely and wants to connect back to her family in the only way she knows they will take her. Very sad.

    And I'm sorry you're feeling a little ignored!!!! I haven't posted much the past week or two 'cause I've been depressed, that really flat feeling where you don't really have anything to say. But I always enjoy reading your posts and I kind of look for what you've written because it's always interesting.



  • Dawn

    I think she's lonely and wants to connect back to her family in the only way she knows they will take her

    I agree. I have a friend who was DF'd years ago and wants to go back. I've shared some information with her that I have found from this site and through my own research. But she just closes her ears to it and changes the subject.

    Sometimes the only thing we can do is to let them know we will love them and accept them whatever their decision is. That we'll be here if they change their mind.

    Perhaps, in this situation, the best way to reach your sister may not be by words but by actions. LIVING the gospel is a much stronger witness than preaching it. Show her unconditional love.

  • no one
    no one

    Chevy, since you've only seen her twice in your life, it may not matter how she treats you. Also, I don't know if you are an ex-JW, so the following suggestion may not apply.

    But I would remind her that if she becomes a JW once again, she will be forced to shun you the way she has been shunned by JWs for the past 26 years, not to mention terminating any worldly friendships she may have.

  • Reborn2002

    How sad.

    I agree with the statement that she is most likely lonely and seeking to reconnect with her family in the only way she knows they will accept. I should know, I did that myself for a brief period a few years ago to get my brother and his wife to accept me so that I could have some sort of relationship with my nephew.

    How deplorable is it that the Jehovah's Witnesses divide families and use children and association with loved ones as leverage to force people to join their cult?


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