custody orders, proving to the court why my daughters should be baptized at 18. JW OR NOT

by Gokumonkey 16 Replies latest social family

  • Gokumonkey

    hello everyone ive been posting about this situation about my daughters and their jw mom so if u want to get a back story about whats going on you can check out my previous posts.

    Note- Daughters are only 5 months old, and i live in the united states.

    right now im typing up my court orders to present to the court but ive come to a road block. i want to add reasons to why its not a good idea to have my daughters be baptized at a young age.


    1. "Age appropriate baptism – I wish that my daughters to be baptized at the legal age of 18 years old. Reasons-Religion play a heavy roll in my daughters mothers life. She is Jehovah witness and I believe she wants my daughter’s to be as well. Problem is the age of them being baptized. I have no problem with them being Jehovah witnesses but an age younger than 18 is not acceptable. Being baptized at a Jehovah’s Witness is like signing a contract which my young daughter’s won’t understand at a young age. The mind, body and soul of a person doesn’t fully develop until they reach a certain age and making such a decisions at a young age and not fully understanding the religion’s policies and rules and consequence that follow if they choose to leave the religion I fear will have a negative effect on my daughters which I fear will damage them in adulthood.

    Example – You baptize your child as a Jehovah witness at a young age such as 7 or 10. Children tend to want to make decision like this just to make parents happy not knowing exactly what they are getting into. Children want to be doctors at 5, movie stars at 7, astronauts at 10. Such young minds still developing not knowing exactly what they want in life. Becoming a Jehovah witness you would have to give up those dreams because the practices of the religion won’t allow you ventures on those endeavors. WHY? Because you in order to stay active as a Jehovah witness you would have spend a lot of hours and time and hours knocking on doors and attending meetings two to three times a week, instead of pursing a higher education which the Jehovah witness organization highly discouraged.

    If my daughters get baptized young and later realize that the Jehovah witness life isn’t for them and decided to leave the religion or stop going to meeting or any of the religious functions. I fear the consequences. Being a Jehovah witness you are encouraged not to have any friends outside of the religion and become friends with people only in the church, "

    i stopped right there. Can anybody give me a hand here and let me know of some ideas i can add on to this. I know a bit about JW but i know there are some EXJW on this sight that could possibly shed some more insight.


  • zeb

    shunning will occur if they leave..

  • Iamallcool

    I was baptized at the age of 18. It would still be better for her not to get baptized when she turns 18. Jesus was 30 when he got baptized. Good Luck!


    Deep mental trauma caused by shunning and enstrangement from fear based cult possibly causing suicidal ideation. Give references to world wide experiences from ex jw's showing trauma and damage to social life, career prospects ect.

  • moreconfusedthanever

    At the Australian Royal Commission, Terrence O'Brien appearing for the JWs stated under oath that people are "baptised when they are of an age to qualify for baptism, so someone who is approaching adulthood or an adult.". See the transcript of day 259 Page 26539. He goes on to say that these ones would understand the implications of choosing to disassociate from the JWs, knowing the consequence to be shunning.

    Of course this was argued in regards to those victims of abuse choosing to leave. But would a minor understand the implications of making a life choice to become a witness and that if ever they change their mind their own mother would never speak to them again?

    But it is important to note that in order to qualify for baptism they say you must be of an age - nearly adult or adult.

    I was baptised at 13. I never ever imagined I would find myself in the situation I am in now of having to hide my true thoughts and beliefs from family and friends so that they will still talk to me.

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    Do you have an attorney? These sorts of things are typically never enforced by a judge and most will loathe even putting it in there. The JW parent has freedom of religion as do your kids, baptism is not a legal contract and thus cannot be legally enforced so there is no legal restriction possible.

    Also, you're writing paragraphs, an order is very concise and reads like an "order": Do this, do that. If this, then that. If this is a letter you're writing to the judge, they can't read it, unless you send it to all the parties as part of the complaint.

    Take a step back, find for your kids what YOU find important. Make sure the child has power over the situation, not either of the parents.

    So when I stated my complaint I simply said something to this effect: Mother is a member of Jehovah's Witness and according to mother's personal beliefs, mother does not accept conventional medical treatments such as blood transfusions and organ transplants, nor does the religious doctrine allow children to participate in after-school activities, nor does it allow children to speak to family members and parents that are not a member, and severely denigrates ex-members (which Father is considered to be) nor does their doctrine accept the authority of this court.

    In my custody order it simply states something like this: "Child may participate in reasonable after-school activities of her choosing" and "Both parents shall have joint custody for medical care decisions, in case parents do not agree on a decision for medical care, parents shall defer to the judgment of the child's primary physician", "neither parent shall denigrate the other parent in presence of the child", "child shall be permitted to attend religious services of the custodial parents choosing without interference from the non-custodial parent at that time, until she has attained an appropriate age where she can choose to attend religious services"

  • joe134cd

    The longer you can hold off your kids from getting baptized the better. Statistics are on your side after that as 2/3 born into the religion will not remain as adults.

  • darkspilver

    what state/province or country are you in?

  • eyeuse2badub

    Baptizing young people was a major issue to me when I was an elder and asked to 'go over the questions' with a baptism candidate. I refused to 'go over questions' with anyone younger than 18 simple because persons younger than 18 are not capable of making "the most important decision of their life" as jw's like to phrase it.

    During a very spirited elders meeting discussion, I asked my fellow elders to show me just one example, from the Bible, where children or even teenagers got baptized. On the other hand, I showed them several scriptures, from the Bible, where "men and women" came to be baptized. No mention in the Bible of children being baptized. I also had a problem with the stupid 100 question before baptism. Just don't recall Jesus or the disciples "going over the questions" with the "men and women" that wanted to be baptized.

    just saying!

  • hybridous
    The longer you can hold off your kids from getting baptized the better. Statistics are on your side after that as 2/3 born into the religion will not remain as adults.

    Good comment, here! The teenage JW life is so intolerably stifling and oppressive. Even if raised in the vicinity of JWs, the girls will observe their JW peers being miserable. Meanwhile, they will have an 'out' when asked why they're not baptized ('my father's strict command').

    Those unbaptized teenage years are often sufficient to demonstrate to a person that they want nothing at all to do with this cult. And if they remain unbaptized, they can walk without the full repercussions.

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