Can you relate?

by TimeBandit 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • All or nothing
    All or nothing

    Then you are sitting at the meeting and those same hypocrites are quoting how the identifying mark of the true religion is love among themselves,... So how people who don't practice what they preach can even give these type of comments just floors me!

  • TimeBandit

    For a while I thought I was treated that way because I had a sign on my back that said kick me.


  • Simon

    There are lots of cliques in Kingdom Halls.

    They are like "mean girls" how they isolate and exclude people and it's particularly cruel because often the kids involved don't have other friends - they are forced to exclude themselves from the general population at school for instance.

    I bet lots of born-ins or kids-of-converts have experienced this at one point or another.

  • LV101

    The poor children inside halls - feel bad for the honest-hearted adults, too, that have been so deceived and duped.

  • jwundubbed

    I had been really close to these two kid when we were all in first grade. But then my family started moving back and forth and I didn't get to see them all the time while they got to totally grow up together. When I was in my teens I lived around them again and at first it was great. But after awhile I realized that they only called me when the numbers were off. You know, like a group had to have even numbers so one person wouldn't feel left out. But I always felt left out anyway. I got ignored a lot.

    Somewhere in my late teens I got fed up. I gathered them all together and told them that if they couldn't be my real friend and treat me decently then I didn't want to pretend that we were friends. I wasn't shunning them, I just didn't want to play the game anymore. And after that things were better. I was alone for awhile, but eventually I started hanging out with people who really wanted to hang out with me and whom I really wanted to hang out with too. It was better. But I knew a lot of kids who didn't fit in and didn't have anyone else they could hang out with. Strangely enough most of the kids that didn't fit in well stuck it out while a lot of the more popular kids (who led double lives by the way) left the cult. Most of the privileged kids... kids of elders and kids of wealthy donators led double lives but stuck with the cult.

  • BlackWolf

    I totally understand! Just last night I was at the meeting and I stood there awkwardly by myself, smiling and waiting for someone to talk to me but of course no one did. I really don't understand why I'm such an outcast, I haven't done anything wrong, and I'm not mean or ugly. I'm not baptized, but I'm only 16 so that's normal. Maybe its because I think differently than the rest of them, and they don't like it that i have goals outside of the cult.

    Jws are so hard to be friends with, I realized there's really no point in trying. They judge your every move, and if for some reason your not good enough anymore they will treat you like you dont exist anymore. Its not fair. :(

  • dubstepped

    BlackWolf, I've loved following your story even through the pain. Why? Because you're so young and awake. It is a double edged sword in that you are at the mercy of your parents and other things at your young age, but on the other side you get to get out with your whole life ahead of you. You have a chance to learn and grow in ways that many of us didn't get because we wasted years trying to fit into someone else's mold. I'm so sorry for your pain but so excited for how awesome your life can be while those haters in your life now live in their tiny miserable box.

  • kaik

    I can related to it. It was often due that my cousins were older by 10 years and I was automatically overlooked, so were my siblings. Generally, it was power structure, people at the apex and their offspring got the most attention. Once my cousins became elders, I got constantly compared by everyone to them. But I was never them, and never wanted to be. Also many guys came from big families. We had elder who had about six sons or so, so they stayed together, played together, and were judging everyone together. The exception was when they tried to date young, pretty women like my sister, and they felt that they are entitled to marry her.

  • Vidqun

    TimeBandit, this reminds me of "London hospitality" amongst JWs. I coined the phrase. It means "no hospitality whatsoever." I worked for a few months in London. In the different congregations I attended, I was always looked upon as something the dog dragged in. I had to mingle with those that were visiting from elsewhere.

    I can remember two outstanding examples. I worked in field service with a "pioneer-ministerial servant." We had a pleasant morning and a few good calls. I thought wow! at last I have made a friend. But from that moment onwards I was ignored flat. My presence was not even acknowledged at the hall. But lo and behold! a few months later the said "brother" came biking in my part of the world. He was in my area and needed a place to stay. Unfortunately I was unable to help him.

    I chatted with another brother. A mutual acquaintance introduced us. He was selling vitamins or something, but when I showed no interest in his products, I was again ignored. Even in conversation the one time, he actually turned his back on me and started chatting with someone else. I have never encountered such rudeness ever. Ah, fond memories indeed!

  • TimeBandit

    Many of us have been the bastard at a family reunion...


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