Welcome, Girl on fence! (I look like a newbie but i'm not, new username, I've made more than 700 posts under my original one)
I've only been in a hall once in the past five years, that was to attend a memorial service. I have never had the desire to go back...guess I heard enough of it in my first 25 years to last me a lifetime.
I'm in my early thirties now, it's been, oh, what, almost eight years since I attended on a regular basis (that long!) and I don't miss it a bit. When I stopped going, I just up and quit. I was considered 'inactive' for a good long while before more drastic 'leaving' happened.
To reinforce how little I miss it, I happened to hear part of a meeting recently at my mother's house, she turned on the phone line thing while we were there (which I wasn't expecting). Just hearing a few moments of it made me nauseated, which lasted for two days afterward.
So I can't go back to the hall. I'd most likely toss my cookies on their lovely (HA) carpeting.
Eventually, you'll be ready to get down off the fence. Believe me, sitting on it is more painful than actually picking a side.
(((((((((((((((onthefence)))))))))))))) my heart goes out to you!