It saddens me to know that marriages break up because of religion and the blame, whose fault it is ?

by smiddy3 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • smiddy3

    A Jehovah`s Witness couple who have been married for many years and some with children of various ages and have been serving in their congregation meeting attendance, FS and bible studies with their children for many years .

    And then one of them begins to have doubts about what they are being taught and what they actually are supposed to believe now that some changes have been made with nu-lite.

    The doubts grow and then the the use of the internet to investigate further some of the claims of the GB/WT religion .

    With the wealth of information available on the WWW it now becomes impossible to continue to be an active member of the Jehovah`s Witness religion without being an utter hypocrite . You no longer believe them anymore that they alone are Gods chosen people in this day.

    However your spouse does not see things the way you do not at all and after many months of arguments bickering threats the ultimatum is something like if you don`t believe what I believe that you have left Jehovah we can`t live together anymore ,I want a divorce unless you come to your senses.

    Who is the one here breaking up the marriage ?

    Isn`t it in the majority of cases the JW who ends the marriage ? because of religious differences ?

    Is it even a scriptural reason for divorce differences of a religion.?

    The Jehovah`s Witnesses blame the one who rejects the WT beliefs as the one who has split up the marriage however in my opinion they would bend over backwards to keep the marriage alive

    I would appreciate your opinions ,experiences to throw more light on this subject.

    Do Jehovah`s Witnesses break up marriages or do those non believing spouses break up marriages of Jehovah`s Witnesses.?

    How say you .?

  • Crazyguy

    It’s the JWs that break most marriages because the non believer has left Jehovah is now an apostates etc.. I have a friend that his wife left him because she felt he wasn’t being enough of a spiritual lead. It was allowed by her elders and then he was dfd for some ticky tack reason. During this time they divorced and nothing ever happened in any major way to his wife even though she broke many rules in leaving him and divorcing.

    When a person leaves again he has left Jehovah so it pretty much ok for the believer to do what they want and often because of this the marriage ends. I don’t know of many where the marriage has lasted.

  • Drearyweather
    Who is the one here breaking up the marriage ?

    In your example, it is the JW mate who is initiating the divorce. But only in the example that you have given. I would not be generalizing that it is always the JW who initiates the divorce.

    Isn`t it in the majority of cases the JW who ends the marriage ? because of religious differences ?

    Can't say conclusively unless we have studies that establish this; which we don't have. We can say only from the experiences that we have personally seen. But the cases may wary and there may be many other underlying problems in the marriage other than religious differences.

    I have personally seen many couples who have kept their marriage intact even though one of them have left JW's. There are many on this board too.

    Is it even a scriptural reason for divorce differences of a religion.?


    The Jehovah`s Witnesses blame the one who rejects the WT beliefs as the one who has split up the marriage

    I would say that whenever any marriage breaks for whatever reason, both the parties blame each other.

    Do Jehovah`s Witnesses break up marriages or do those non believing spouses break up marriages of Jehovah`s Witnesses.?

    Each marriage is unique and hence this differs case to case. It is next to impossible to generalize because in a broken marriage, both will blame each other for their troubles.

  • smiddy3

    Thanks Crazyguy for your input and that is that JW`s break up marriages

  • Bugbear


    I have been married to the same wife for more than 40 years. I left the JW:s almost 15 years ago (faded) and haven´t attend any meetings in 10 years. All my children (6) have been grown up in the “truth”!??....and all of them are today successfully out. Still my wife today 70 years of age is attending the meetings and going to the service. Of course there is a tension, when she brings up all the “spiritual” good she got at the meeting, nobody of us comments on that. She has probably not realized that it is not spiritual healthy for her to bring up the subject God/Bible/the truth and religion.

    As far as I remember maybe 30 years ago, the only reason for divorce was if you risky your spiritual health it was OK to separate. Also if your partner had commit fornication you could have your divorce. Not even violence, drug addiction, alcoholism, in your home was an excuse for divorce. I think the same rules still remain. But I am sure that the elders in your cong. recommend that no spiritual talk should take place if they recognize you as an apostate. They know that your partner could lose her faith if you show her all the evidence for TTATT. They don´t want to lose another potential money contributor to the Soc….

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    I don't have the WT library on this computer but there was a series of articles about this in the early 1990's. If there is spiritual endangerment, ie: apostasy by your mate... You may separate and divorce, its up to you. It would not be recognized by the congregation as a scriptural divorce so one would not be free to remarry. No congregational restrictions would apply to the endangered mate. The same goes for extreme physical endangerment or failure to provide financially for the family if its the man.

    My brother and his wife divorced and neither was disfellowshipped. They lived separately until my brother married someone else 5 or so years later and he was therefore an adulterer though divorced by the state.

    Did you know if you are unscripturally divorced by law, you are still considered scripturally married by the congregation. When you sleep with your ex wife without remarrying her you have committed adultery. Relations before a divorce is final indicate acceptance of repentance by the harmed one .

    If an unscriptural divorce, the congregation views you still married in God's eyes but unmarried by Ceasar's law so any relations would be seen as fornication.That one blew my mind. What a clown town.

  • moreconfusedthanever

    What about love? I can't get my head around the fact that having different views on God can Trump the love of a couple who promised to love and honour one another through good times and bad, in sickness and health.

    As the bible says, we each render our own account to God so how can religion of choice end a perfectly happy marriage? Unless it was not so happy and an out was being sought?

    I don't know. It is not right in any case.

  • scratchme1010
    How say you .?

    I look at the bigger picture. When you take a closer look at things, sometimes you find that some couples have a lot of issues and they become JW in an attempts to either fix them or escape from them.

    When it comes to marriage, we just don't know what happens behind closed doors between the couple. Coming to any conclusion based solely in what outsiders see, or based only on the word of one of the parties without the others, I'm not sure it's going to get use the entire story.

    That said, it's well known to many of us that the WT can't care less about the well being of their people. All the "advice" that they provide is for their benefit and to push their agenda. That includes what they expect people to do in their marriage, and they go as far as telling people what positions are acceptable when they are in the intimacy of their bedrooms.

    When it comes to the health of a marriage, it's not a good thing to rely on what the WT says. When a marriage is in crisis, they certainly don't help, but I wouldn't hold anyone responsible without knowing the entire story.

  • steve2

    Some couples should have never married in the first place and make each other's lives miserable. Such a waste of precious lives.

  • contramundum

    Totally agree with you Steve2

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