Those formula prayers. I want to scream

by stillin 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • stillin

    When the CO is visiting, I think I hear "thank you , Jehovah, for this special week of activity" until I want to vomit.

    also "Jehovah, please remember those sick and afflicted. We pray that they can make a recovery and be back with us."

    stale, canned, institutionalized garble. How about something REAL?!

  • krejames

    I hear ya. To be fair, it's not easy standing up in front of a congregation and speaking without notes in a prayer, knowing that your every word is being judged by the co and elders and some members of the congregation. I hated giving public prayers, found it a highly stressful experience and on one occasion completely dried up for a painful full minute or so.

    I do remember some wise words said to me: "don't worry, most people aren't listening anyway".

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    I get so tired of hearing "Thank your Jehovah for the Gibbering Body, or the Faithful and Discreet Slave." Over and over to the brink of shear nausem. Not one word about thanking Jehovah for his Son who is the head of the congregation, not the Governless Body.

  • FedUpJW

    "Jehovah, please remember those sick and afflicted. We pray that they can make a recovery and be back with us."

    Just a few weeks ago I mentioned almost this very same thing to one of the eldurrs. I asked him if he ever thought about how Jehovah would "help those who are shut-in to know we "love" them," if no one ever bothered to actually go visit those shut-in persons, and see if there was anything they personally could do for, or with those ones? His reply? "Well if they are listening into the meeting on the phone tie-in they hear us ask Jehovah to help them know we "love" them and that is how they are encouraged."

    Strange thing is that I must be doing something wrong. I no longer go with any group in field serve us. I go alone, without the required dress up for Sunday clothes and make my serve us into a service by going to those people and seeing of I can do their shopping for them, or fix something on their home, or perhaps just sit and spend some of that most finite and precious commodity I have with them. . .time.

    I guess the eldurrs are too busy being "loving" shepherds to actually show any love.



    Those formula prayers. I want to scream..

    stale, canned, institutionalized garble. How about something REAL?!

    Prayers By WBT$/JW Reps Are a Self Serving Event..

    With constant Mind Numbing Repetition of the WBT$ Brand...."Jehovah"..

    Any mundane subject in The Prayer,Is "Fair Game"..

    As Long As You Can Attach The WBT$ Brand "Jehovah" To It..


    Look At Me I`m Important.....Now Back To Jehovah!..

    Thank You Jehovah For Our Special Week Of Activity..

    Thank You Jehovah For Ice Cream On a Stick..

    Thank You Jehovah For Cats That Use Their Litter Box..

    Thank You Jehovah For Chickens With 2 Drumsticks..

    Thank You Jehovah For BLAH..Blah..blah..blah..

    Image result for Businessman praying

  • WTWizard

    I would not thank that beady-eyed monster joke-hova for anything. That thing is the cause of all our problems, and it is going to be thanked for allowing us to endure (just barely) something that wouldn't happen at all without its interfering with our planet? And praying for those who are infirm? To the extent they were scum while they were attending boasting sessions (insisting on every restriction possible, hounding everyone to pious-sneer, etc.), I would rather use black magic to enhance their suffering. And, for those who were relatively innocent, to get them out of the cancer.

    And what about those donations? We are supposed to thank joke-hova for things that we work for, we buy ourselves with money we earn ourselves, and then donate toward the Worldwide Damnation Fund? And when does joke-hova thank US for the psychic energy so it can enslave the whole world? Or the money which WE earn and then donate so it can have its message of damnation spread worldwide? Money that joke-hova itself ensured would be harder to earn, to boot.

    I would rather cut off joke-hova from receiving any donations. With the money, I would rather simply buy those items that joke-hova supposedly supplies. That is more sensible than letting joke-hova deprive us of 90% of our resources and then thanking that THING for the 10% it didn't take.

  • stuckinarut2

    Yes! Great thread.

    The other "prayers" that bug me are those that seem to "teach" Jehovah something by previewing or reviewing the content of the meeting or if he wasn't listening or paying attention!

    "dear J, thankyou for the WT that just taught us (list several points)" We can imagine him hearing the prayer and saying "yer, I know! I was listening too you know"

  • Truthexplorer

    And what was the model prayer Jesus taught 'OUR FATHER' in heaven.....

    I personally get annoyed when every prayer is Jehovah this, jehovah that. A/the more accurate version is Yahweh/ Yahveh. B/ it is overly familiar with Elohim ((God). Referring to Jehovah now and again is fine, but it is much more respectful to pray to God by referring to him as Jesus quite rightly said 'OUR FATHER'.

  • blondie

    So many brothers I knew were afraid to give a prayer many "requirements" and cautions. In 95% of the congregations I attended the brother giving the prayer found out he was doing it a few minutes before the meeting started. No time to give it any thought like a public talk, talk on the school. Just pull it out of your rear. So many relied on trite phrases strung together.

    Now I did attend one congregation where the school schedule listed the brother giving the opening prayer and the closing prayer after the service meeting. Public talk, chairman gave opening and closing by public speaker unless he left early, then chairman in a pinch.

    Prayers are given many times for the audience, not God; I have even seen the equivalent of a short marking talk, unofficial, done in a prayer.

  • OverlappingGeneralizations

    I always thought public prayers were a waste of time. If my brother calls my father on the phone, and I stand there listening to them, but right before he hangs up I grab the phone and say "me too!", would my father really think I was part of that conversation? No? Well then why would God think that I am praying when I am just standing there listening to another guy pray?

    Normally I would just say my own prayer in my head and completely ignore the public prayer. Or, just completely ignore the prayer without praying. Either way, I found it to be useless.

    I hate prayer fluff too. "We know we're living in the last days..." "We know we sin and fall short many times..." "We know this old system of things will soon be over..." on and on. One time, a prayer was going on and on, a young boy in the audience yelled "AMEN!!" and started crying. I felt the same way, lol.

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