by Heartsafire 65 Replies latest jw friends

  • Heartsafire

    Hello all. Long time lurker here. I'm a fifth gen born-in baptized JW. To say I've been struggling with doubts is an understatement. I have seen too much growing up in this cult to be naive any longer. And trust me, I have seen more than my fair share of hypocrisy, secrecy, lies, and injustice within the confines of this religion. The tragedy of my situation is that all of my family are in the troof including my born-in, rabidly loyal to the Borg husband. I cannot even mention a news article to him regarding JWs without him completely flipping out on me. So, I keep it all inside, and it feels like I'm suffocating sometimes. I started having doubts when I was about 13 yrs-old and could see that being a JW and following the rules as such did not equate to living a happy life. Later in my 20's I went ahead with baptism after a series of horrible events happened in my life and I was extremely vulnerable. I suppressed that voice of reason in the back of my mind long enough to memorize the back of the OM book and take the plunge. Over the years the questions in my mind kept resurfacing, and so I decided to just pick up the Bible and read it. I would clear my mind of any JW doctrine or slant and just read the thing. Well, what do you know, I found out that there was more than one nail in Jesus's hands when he was killed. That led me to researching WT articles about the cross vs stake and finding misleading info and taking source info out of context on WT's part. Then I read that Jesus told everyone to partake of the bread which is his flesh blah blah blah. This too led me to the reasoning book which gave me unreasonable answers. After getting no where with WT articles, I turned to the Internet and found out about the UN membership. At that point I seriously started doubting the leadership at WT. I found it harder to engage in the ministry. The final straw for me has been the child sex abuse scandals and the way WT leaders have responded. After all the dealings with the RC in Austrailia WT has yet to be completely transparent with what has happened on their websites. They are perpetuating a cycle of abuse that will continue as they hide the real truth from their members. I cannot support this. I just cannot. Every time they applaud themselves as following Jesus, or sneer at homosexuals for living a sinful life, or ask for more out of their members, I get nauseous thinking about what is really going on. So now I'm just taking it slow and fading, but this is seemingly impossible to do with an uber jdubb spouse. I can't just walk away from my marriage. For one, I have no where to go, and secondly I do love him and hope that I can wake him up in time. Anyway, I've already read Steven Hassan's latest book on Combatting Cult Mind Control and it is awesome. I am open to any suggestions as to waking him up including reading material. Also, I want you all to know that I love all you guys and gals on here--from the doubting dubs to the atheists. For a few months Ive curiously read your posts and they make me laugh and I've wanted to join in. I guess today is the day. Hello to you all:-)

  • onightdivine

    Welcome, heartsafire!

    Let me read your post now. I got excited to see a new member here so I said hello first. : )

  • Alive!
    Hey :-)
  • KateWild

    Welcome Heartsafire,

    It's understandable that you want to wake up your husband. Many on here woke up their spouses. But also many did not and left and are still happily married.

    Your aim should be your health and your own exit. If your husband has any doubts at all he will follow. If he is happy as a JW he won't. Just show him he is a priority. Show him how much you care for him and love him.

    Take care

    Kate xx

  • Je.suis.oisif
    Hearstafire, didn't want to read and run. Welcome sweetie xx
  • Heartsafire

    Kate, thank you. That is really good advice. Some days I think he will never change, but I still love him no matter what.

    To Alive!: Hey back!

    onenightdivine: I'm so excited to be here! Glad to meet you and pardon the long winded post.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Heartsafire, Hello. It is so very nice to have you with us.

    This is a scenario that hopefully gently wakes your husband up and 'honors' his headship at the same time.

    What if you tell him the last time you were out, the householder mentioned that there is no 607 BCE in any literature, except WT literature. That it is a false date. Mention to your husband that you haven't looked up the date of when Babylon fell because what if the householder is correct? That means we are worshiping a false religion. What should we do? Do you think we could look it up together?

    The world is so wondrous and life is too precious to waste as free labor to a world wide real estate developement company.

    All the best to you in life's journey.


  • Heartsafire

    Lois Lane, I like that approach. I've thought about talking to him about the 607 date before, but hadn't researched it much myself other than bits on the Internet. Getting him to help me research would be even better. Marking that on the 'to do' list.

  • jhine

    Welcome Heartsafire , what a lovely nom de plume .


  • smiddy

    Welcome Heartsafire .

    Don Camerons "Captives Of A Concept" did it for me .....He takes the claims of the G.B. ,, the F&DS class , what they believed then , and what they believe now , and it becomes obvious they could never have been approved to be Gods channel of communication to mankind by anyone let alone Jesus Christ.

    And it is so well outlined with clarity that blind Freddy could see it.

    They become exposed as just another home grown American religion spawned in that era.

    An example : If the I.B.S.A. as they were known under C.T.Russell was approved by Jesus as giving truth to the people at that time before his death in 1916 , yet now in 2015 if C.T.Russell put forth those same ideas he would be disfellowshipped .for teaching untruths. Apostacy.


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