Marry only in the Lord

by Jules Saturn 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Jules Saturn
    Jules Saturn

    The second half of 1 Corinthians 7:39 reads "...she is free to be married to whomever she wants, only in the Lord."

    So we all know that scripture for being doctrine for Witnesses when they select a marriage mate and how they are strictly encouraged to marry amongst themselves and look down upon or marked if they marry an outsider.

    I have a friend who met a worldly man and when it came to light, her father gave her the option to end the relationship or to marry him, and she chose the latter. The wedding seemed so rush (I didn't attend, I am only assuming through pictures I've seen) not all of her friends her relatives were in attendance, the attendance was actually very small. Her father who was a ministerial servant at the time was in attendance and because he was there, the body of elders viewed that as "supporting" her, so his privileges were removed. She was looked down upon by her family for having married an outsider and considered to not be exemplary in her congregation.

    I thought all of this was very unfair, do any of you know of any similar experiences? What is the main interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:39? I think it's very sad for anyone to be treated this way, ostracized by their family and friends for not following the "norm" or what is considered normal to them.


  • never a jw
    never a jw

    my wife has been there. A month before we married a speaker was called to give a speech especially for her, about marrying in the Lord. She was called during the speech a "stained" in the congregation.

    Fast forward 23 years later. She is happily married, well provided for, house paid off, secured retirement, two exemplary children going to university, while most of her cousins who married in the lord around the same time are divorced with children switching between mom and dad, no studies beyond high school anywhere, living in rental housing.

    I know I sound like I am bragging. But it's all true

  • Giordano

    It's the same with a lot of religions especially cults and high control religions. They not only think they have the TRUTH........... they don't realize that they are not thinking.

    A strong belief in the ignorance of one's religion is a terrible way to live your life.

    Edited to add. When I met my wife to be we were both young, I was a pioneer she was still in High School. We left the religion in our young twenties. We have been married for 54 years, still in love.

  • Jules Saturn
    Jules Saturn


    wow that's a very interesting and encouraging experience! Thank you for sharing

  • steve2

    Try marrying into the family of Greek Orthodox church when you are a non-member or the Exclusive Brethren.

    JWs are little different from several other groups that take a hardline against their members marrying outside the church. Yes, they all cite the same Scriptures.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Let's face it, its smart to marry without bringing the teachings of a cult into the mix. Only in the Lord makes sense if you earnestly believe the crap they are shoveling. No arguments over holidays with the kids etc. Who needs that nightmare? Each example of how "marrying OUT of the Lord" mentioned here which were successful, include the point that the "Lord" was removed from their marriages. They all came to a union of belief in their marriages. So being of one mind is a benefit. "Only in the Lord" is no guarantee of success because those "in" the Lord are themselves slaves to another mate, the WT governing body who go to bed with them each night.

  • LongHairGal


    According to that scripture she's free to marry anybody in Christendom since they feel they're "in the Lord". That's a lot of men to choose from LOL.

    The JWs don't want a woman to marry a non-Witness because they think the UBM will drag her out of the religion. However, I feel that deep down they'd rather a single woman not marry anybody at all because they know once she's married they can't pester her to do favors.


    No, you are not bragging. You're speaking the truth. A lot of "brothers" don't make a very good living. But that changed somewhat over the decades because some JWs wised up and some JWs managed to make a great living. Those with businesses do fabulously.

    The only demographic that does poorly in this whole mess are single never-married women who never got an education or a career. The reason I stress 'never-married' is because a divorced woman generally comes out with some assets and life experience.

    The religion couldn't care less if single women ended up poor or dead. This is why I was SO right to have never listened to these sonofabitches!!!

  • FedUpJW

    I feel that deep down they'd rather a single woman not marry anybody at all because they know once she's married they can't pester her to do favors.

    That is so true.

    The religion couldn't care less if single women ended up poor or dead. This is why I was SO right to have never listened to these sonofabitches!!!

    Also very true, and GOOD FOR YOU.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Sad for sisters that want to comply with this biblical mandate. Tough, as there are about 20 females for every available and marriage-worthy male.

    I only hope they make the best position choice in case they choose among outsiders. No like this girl that went outside and got with a bump that knocked her up and she's now back at the KH, abandoned. Not well educated, her future looks grim.

    Marriage is tough either way. Best to choose someone with whom there's lots in common.


  • deegee

    It seems the high-control/cultish denominations strictly require that their members marry only each other – Seventh Day Adventists (SDA) would be another non-JW example. I do not know, however, if SDAs actually penalize their members just like the JWs, if they do not obey this scripture.

    Other denominations interpret “marry only in the Lord” to mean their members can marry ANYONE who is a Christian regardless of denomination. They may only caution their members about the scripture if the member is marrying a non-Christian, but do not see it as a strict requirement or with penalties attached.

    Paul however, seems to be contradicting himself:

    1 Corinthians 7:12-14:

    "If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy."

    This scripture indicates that a believer can marry an unbeliever. If I am not mistaken, the WT interpretation is that both spouses were non-JWs (unbelievers) at the time of marriage and then one subsequently learnt “the truth”. But nothing is said about that in the passage, this is what they have read into it.

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