Blonde Jokes

by Bangalore 16 Replies latest social humour

  • Bangalore
    Bangalore

    Blonde Jokes.

    Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"
    This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."
    The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."
    "OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
    Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing."
    "There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.
    After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"

    Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
    The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
    The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
    The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
    The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

    A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
    “May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
    Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license. Now today you want me to show it to you!”

    A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
    The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
    The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day, we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
    The blonde very calmly states, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
    The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know."
    Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, "What's so bad now. Are you gonna be ok?"
    "No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"

    A brunette walked into a room and saw her blonde friend whooping and hollering. “What’s the matter?” The brunette inquired. “Nothing at all. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The blonde beamed. “How long did it take you?” “Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!”

    A brunette walked into a room and saw her blonde friend whooping and hollering. “What’s the matter?” The brunette inquired. “Nothing at all. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The blonde beamed. “How long did it take you?” “Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!”

  • LV101
    LV101

    Love these -- haven't heard any 'blonde' jokes in so long. My fave is the second and third one -- and last.

    Thanks.

  • smiddy3
    smiddy3

    Is it politically correct or even sexist to make blonde jokes nowadays ?

    Prepare yourself for a lot of flak Bangalore LOL

  • Bangalore
    Bangalore

    I am ready,Smiddy.

  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast

    Love the jokes, slightly uncomfortable about them though. If you substituted any ethnic group for blonde, well, see what I mean?

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    I remember hearing Irish jokes years ago and when we moved to Spain discovered the exact same jokes were used about the Argentinians.

    These jokes can be used against anyone the joke teller wants to denigrate and belittle or perhaps make himself feel superior to.

    If it's Jimmy Carr telling them tho......:p

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    I heard the last joke before..oh..you told it twice.

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    A blonde's twin sister repeated the last joke.

  • Nrs83
    Nrs83

    Second and third my favs....

    No offense should be taken if they are seen as what they are... A joke!

    Thanks Bangalore from a natural blonde!

  • HB
    HB

    I have blonde hair but I take no offence whatsoever and laughed heartily at all the jokes.

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