Dealing with Elderly Parents Who Still Believe the jw Religion is the truth

by lancelink 27 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Rainbow_Troll

  So how do you deal with the witness stuff always being presented in conversations?

  In my experience the only way to deal with it is to walk away. The Watchtower draws a hard line on issues that most mainstream religions do not even bother with, which makes it impossible to have a conversation with a witness that doesn't, in some way, touch on their religious beliefs.

  Try to talk about politics with a witness and inevitably it will come down to "It's all futile, only Jehovah's government can fix things". Try to have a conversation about science or nature and unless you tread very carefully - avoiding any reference to evolution, geology, cosmology or anything else that suggests that the universe is more than a few thousand years old - you are certain to come into conflict. Ethical debate is also useless, since JWs only recognize the authority of the Watchtower and know nothing of ethics as it relates to philosophy. Social justice issues will just get you the tired line that "Why bother trying to change anything, Jehovah will soon set everything right".

  In short, there is literally nothing these people can say that you couldn't read in a Watchtower. They have no thoughts of their own. They live in a fantasy world of God, angels and demons. There is simply no common ground on which to build a rapport, let alone a relationship.
• 

  Cold Steel

  They've still put in the years.

  At the end is a terrible time to admit it was all a gimmick. On the one hand you want them to see the truth, but on the other do you really want to destroy all they have left? The after-death outlook for JWs sucks, but it's slightly better than what atheists and some agnostics believe. If they can go down to the grave believing they'll have some hope of a future life, that's better than nothing.

  If they were younger that would be one thing. But as people get older, they tend to be more apprehensive about death and the meaning of their lives.
• 

  lancelink

  Thank you for your replies, I find them very heartfelt, and moving ☺️

  I imagine it is much like walking through a mine field, every step needs to be carefully planned.

  I don't know any of you personally, but Ihope that your different situations work out in a way so that your emotional / mental " framework" remains sound. Dealing with this stuff

  is not easy .

  again,,, thank you for your thoughts
• 

  Faded

  I have the same challenges with my mom.

  I appreciate the comments. I'm pretty much doing what's suggest. Don't engage, be peaceable, etc. It's really unfortunate though because you don't really have much to say (that she won't turn in a JW direction).

  So our relationship is superficial. She doesn't truly know her daughter. And I care about my mom but we're just not very close at all. And you're always missing that relationship that you could have had if not for this damned religion.

  My father is gone and sometimes I feel like such a disappointment to him. I'm unsure about the immortal soul (another gift from the JW's - you don't them but can't believe anyone else's theories either), but I just feel he's ashamed & disappointed with me.
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  Nathan Natas

  LanceLink, has your Dad given you any reason why you should not kiss your inheritance (your Dad's estate) goodbye?

  The parasitic Watchtower -- I mean Jehovah -- needs your Dad's money.
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  tepidpoultry

  Mom is 84, her life is like a tv show I saw about Jim and Tammy Bakker and the PTL Club, religion keeping old timers happy (and sending in the $$$) Mom has her meetings, during the day, study, phone witnessing and now, a la PTL club, JW TV!! So, surprise, surprise, when we talk what does she have to talk about? And as I'm inactive I'm pretty she counts time as well! So what do I do? Just shut up and try to be a good son and let her talk, I never engage and she doesn't expect it, I figure I'll be glad I let her go on after she's gone :0)
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  Chook

  When people are too old and you dash all their hopes by revealing Santa Claus is not real it can have a devastating affect. I think if they are very old just talk about how wonderful the reindeers are. Let them die watching the chimney.
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  nugget

  My mum is 80 and doesn't attend meetings as she is housebound. She believes the organisation is the truth but because she hasn't been to meetings she believes what she was taught when she joined the organisation. She hasn't kept up with current thoughts or changes and doesn't believe me when I tell her about the changes.

  Generally we avoid talking religion she is totally in denial anyway. She is sorry that I inherited diabetes not sorry she introduced me into a cult and messed with my life for 40 years. What can you do?