Special Announcement
There is to be a special announcement worldwide about cost cutting - Everyone is to bring their own toilet paper to meetings in future.
Key Points
It would be inappropriate to display a “showy means of life” by bringing paper with monograms, watermarks or printed patterns. Plain paper only would be the acceptable. Extra soft would also be allowed for those with skin conditions but a doctors certificate will be required.
A qualified Ministerial servant will be appointed to inspect and make sure proper standards and correct application is adhered to. The position of Appointed Sphincter Servant ( or ASS for short) will be for a qualified brother of good standing. If no qualified brothers of good standing are available a brother of questionable standards will be appointed.
Contributions for the World Wide Comfort Fund
A special contribution box will be set up for voluntary bethel workers who have no families (ahhhh). Those who wish to contribute to the “World Wide Comfort Fund” Should place their toilet tissue ( and other donated materials such as Gold, Diamonds, Negotiable bonds, and precious works of art ) in the box labelled W.C. As the society is not equipped for recycling no used paper to be placed in the contribution box
What to do in and emergency
If an emergency should arise notify your ASS as soon as possible. He will consult the PO who will check the WC for contributions. You will be required to sign a recept in triplicate which on conclusion of your business you should take to the LS (literature servant).
Request from Writing department
All ASS’s are requested to direct material from the WC direct to the writing department for inclusion in the next Watchtower.
