For those that carry on as JWs secretly not believing.....

snare&racket

My heart goes out for all people stuck in all high control groups, either with insight into the falsehood of their beliefs or none.

To remain a member whilst knowing it false however, must be soul destroying.

My question is, would you carry on living the lie if you discovered that we get one life, one go at existing. It's short, it's fragile and nobody in 100 years will care we even existed....

.......if you came to that realisation would you quit to go LIVE ?

.......if you had children, would you leave In order to set them an example in strength and appreciation of the short time we enjoy?

cognac

I left to give my children a normal life. Hardest, most painful thing I've ever done. I'm so proud of myself though. In the end, it's worth it

I lived that lie for about 4 years, only because I couldn't just up and leave. I was in my teens and had nowhere to go to. So I pretended and lived the lie until I could get myself established financially and get an outside network of support. Many have to stay stuck in for years, for various reasons, despite knowing it's all soul-crushing BS and a waste of life. My heart goes out to them because I know what it's like but at least I had an end goal to look forward to.

nancy drew

Yes I believe it is soul destroying. I know that leaving can be intense but it's worth it. I'm going to be direct about what I think people should leave what they know is wrong at any cost because staying gives power to the organization. It contributes to their ability to hurt more people it feeds their hunger and it allows them to continue.

We are fortunate to live in a time that they can't torture and kill us for our dissent but I firmly believe that if they were in power and could get away with it we would be hunted and executed. Why wait for god and the angels when you can do it now would be their cry.

Landy

No

Yes

OneEyedJoe

I don't think most who've found TTATT plan on staying in indefinitely. People just stay in until they can get out, or in an effort to get loved ones out with them. While we only have one life to live staying in the cult for a time is no different than other sacrifices we make. We work, do chores, etc because we need to pay the bills and these things, while unpleasant, enable us to achieve some goal that ultimately makes it worthwhile (hopefully).

Of course there are some that are beaten down and think that a life outside the cult is unachievable for them. Like an abused spouse their self-worth may be low and they may overestimate the difficulty of moving on. For these folks, I suspect a pep-talk about having one life to live probably won't make much difference. Hopefully any in this situation will eventually find their way here or somewhere similar to find the support they need and see all the examples of people who have made it out and live rewarding, genuine lives in spite of facing the same challenges that they do. That's probably going to be what gives them the push they need to make a change in their life.

ToesUp

I think a lot of the older ones know it is BS but feel they are just too old to do something else or they have no friends on the outside. They feel that they just can not start over.

SonoftheTrinity

It is always my most profound hope that the Jehovah's Witnesses could do a 180 and truly reform in the same way as the The Worldwide Church of God reformed into Grace Fellowship International. Believe it or not it is possible for an abusive cult to reform itself and go legit, you just need enough people in leadership positions who don't swallow the Kool-Aid.

trebor

We are fortunate to live in a time that they can't torture and kill us for our dissent but I firmly believe that if they were in power and could get away with it we would be hunted and executed. Why wait for god and the angels when you can do it now would be their cry.

Indeed:

The Watchtower, November 15, 1952, page 703, Questions from Readers:

"In the case of where a father or mother or son or daughter is disfellowshipped [disassociated], how should such person be treated by members of the family in their family relationship?

We are not living today among theocratic nations where such members of our fleshly family relationship could be exterminated for apostasy from God and his theocratic organization, as was possible and was ordered in the nation of Israel in the wilderness of Sinai and in the land of Palestine. . . Being limited by the laws of the worldly nation in which we live and also by the laws of God through Jesus Christ, we can take action against apostates only to a certain extent, that is, consistent with both sets of laws. The law of the land and God’s law through Christ forbid us to kill apostates, even though they be members of our own flesh-and-blood family relationship. However, God’s law requires us to recognize their being disfellowshipped from his congregation."

SOURCE: http://savedfromthewatchtower.blogspot.com/2009/05/shun-hate-kill.html

Xanthippe

We only carried on pretending to believe and attending meetings for a few months. We just couldn't stand it. Whilst I understand those that want to get their relatives and friends out, if they think there's hope, we just needed to get away. People would say, 'worldly' people that is, your relatives will mellow over time, they'll come round.

They didn't, after almost three decades, but when I saw my daughter graduating university last week it was all worth it. To think of her pioneering for that cult as I did, wasting her youth and intelligence, especially if I was forced to look on knowing it was all lies, I couldn't have coped with that. So it's swings and roundabouts. Lose your extended family and friends but get a good life and have happy kids.

When you look at the planet we live on nobody has a perfect life anyway do they? Nobody has it all. I have more than a lot of people have and I'm glad we left when we did for the sake of our health and my daughter's happiness.