This needs like eight million likes because it is so true! And the org uses your family and friends to reinforce the guilt on you when you stray into just the slightest amount freedom and normalcy. They know nobody wants to tell their family to eff off, so they play that card against you.
The Great Watchtower Guilt Trip
It's only since leaving that I've felt real happiness and relief. Not having to lie about who i talk to, where im going, what i watch, if i smoke, if i try this, if i do that. In fact, i can honestly say, it took leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses to make me an honest man! On the rare occasions that Witnesses from my old KH speak to me i refuse to lie to them about what i like and what i dont like. I will mention without a trace of guilt that i was in Amsterdam a few weeks ago and smoked marijuana. That i collect Hindu idols to decorate my home and that my friends are a mix of atheists and one or two pagans.
Being able to speak so openly about myself is so liberating and i truely value "the [real] world" for allowing me to be myself.
Yet, what a lot of JWs and ex-JWs still try to waste their time on is discussing doctrine, teachings and seeing everything through the light of the Bible, as if that's what's going to bring them happiness.
Thank you for addressing this topic. Love hearing about freedom from guilt and shame, liberation and freedom to choose whatever you choose to do/be/believe (BTW, Amsterdam is one of my favorite cities of all time, I don't do the marijuana thing, but it's good to know that I can if I want to).
STILL TOTALLY ADD:
Interesting what you say about the CO who told you:... "you cannot trust the friends to do what's right..that's why we have so many rules. Guilt is a very powerful tool.."
Yeah, well screw him. I'm out and the guilt trips are over.
What's particularly disturbing is the undercurrent of contempt and disrespect for the people in the congregation....Who do these ingrates think were supporting them?? The very same people in the congregation, that's who. When I saw their attitude towards people with full time jobs and careers, I never put anything in the contribution boxes.
I really hope this guy (and others like himself) are made redundant and end up in the workforce alongside the people they have such contempt for.
This is the punishment they deserve for their arrogance, manipulation and having no accountability for ruining people's lives.
LongHairGal - "...I really hope this guy (and others like himself) are made redundant and end up in the workforce alongside the people they have such contempt for..."
Iroronically, you'll probably get your wish, considering the rate of congregation consolidation/dissolution and Kingdom Hall sales. :smirk:
Awesome and honest post. Love it!!!!
The wife and I told those eltards who came over last week the same thing, that we can finally just be ourselves and don't have to lie any more. A long time elder text messaged and said that if we leave the Borg, we are going to be miserable. Boy if he only knew!!!👍
We have never been happier and we aren't smoking crack and robbing banks like the Watchtower promotes to its members as to those who leave.
So glad you found true happiness pale.emperor!
It is all about guilt (and fear) .... When you believe that God is at the top of the Org. handing down the instructions....Who wants to go up against God the Almighty?
Who dares to defy God? It would clearly be morally wrong to do so. If they get them to believe that,, they have 'em, by the short and curlies !
It starts young. I'll not forget that Caleb and Sophia video when if he had the wrong toy "It would make Jehovah very sad".....
Exploitation , or just institutional ignorance? You decide.
Herelgo - "...Fear, Obligation, Guilt. All of that basically sums up the Watchtower mindset..."
I'd bet that - if pressed - even the higher-ups would probably agree...
...and go on to argue that that was a good thing.
Guilt.....wow. It really is all about guilt in the end. When I was in I was 100% and I drank it all up and was an uber dub. I prayed constantly, studied for every meeting, read my bible, and put everything into practice. Sometimes I felt very close to Jehovah and this brought me great joy. But a human being can not live up to these impossible standards for long and eventually my human side would shine through and I'd think about a cute girl I knew or accidentally see something racy on tv that would get my young man juices all stirred up and then the eventual thing would happen, I'd masterbate or watch some porn, etc... This happened over and over and over and every time I felt so miserable and hopeless that this led me to eventually start thinking about suicide. Crazy huh? I'm sure a lot of us have been in this exact same position when we were jdubs.
For 15 years I was in and out. I'd stay in as long as I could but I'd eventually get so depressed and suicidal that I'd just stop going. Instantly the guilt and pressure was gone. I still believed it all mind you, there was no jwfacts or internet research back in my day...so I was still mentally trapped but getting away from the meetings allowed me to get a break from the constant reminders and the guilt. Eventually I'd "come to my senses" and go back (I'd never gotten disfellowshiped, only reproved one time privately and one time publicly). This pattern continued until last year I finally got df'd and that really changed things for me. Since I was already out I felt like I had a green light to do some research on my own about my religion and my beliefs; enter Jwfacts and it was all downhill from there. Smooth sailing. The relief was immense to say the least. To finally be set free from my mental prison of belief in a lie.....that was huge. It also started me on a very bad path though of self destruction. Losing all of your long held beliefs about life and the afterlife in one fell swoop is very hard to deal with as I'm sure you all know. But I got through it and now have a different perspective.
I forgot where I was going with this. Just happy to be out of the shackles of guilt and am trying hard to live my life in a way that makes me happy. I have goals and I will continue to focus on them and enhance my already happy life.
That reminds me. I wanted to talk about happiness. JW's claim to be the "Happiest People on Earth" haha, what a joke. More like the most depressed and fucked up people on Earth. I honestly never knew any JW's who were truly happy. NONE. Not one. Sure some put on a very good front, until you get to know them, then the wall comes down and you find out most are on depression meds or anxiety meds and most are barely dealing with life. Happiness? Far far away from any JW. Sad.....so sad.
I realized happiness is a choice. We choose what we focus our mind and our lives on and we can be happy just by choosing to be so. It really is a mental outlook. Change your attitude, change your life. Very simple. It's not easy but it is simple. Then work towards goals that enhance your happiness.
I love you all. I'm glad I have the support of so many people who've been there done that got the t-shirt. Stay strong and find your happiness and your peace. It is out there.
Wonderful post FREEANDCLEAR. Same with me, i sneakily checked up on JWFacts and on here from time to time but my cognitive dissonance could think up lame excuses for most things. Finally getting DF'd was great because i allowed myself free reign to research like a fiend. There's absolutely no amount of cognitive dissonance that could override the stuff i know and have experienced since leaving.
We live in a wonderful world with wonderful people. It's not perfect, it can be scarey and you need to look after yourself but it's a wonderful world.
So much better than the JW world.
Freeandclear - "...JW's claim to be the 'Happiest People on Earth'..."
The Watchtower claims that "JWs are the Happiest People on Earth"...
Know who else once said that? Southern plantation slave owners.
Guess who they were talking about.