Hi, I'm new on board (this is a bit long, but some might find it helpul to those who've lost beloved JW's in suicide)
I'm an ex-JW, the oldest of 8 siblings, and the first to be baptized a JW over 25 years ago. I encouraged my younger siblings to join immediately after I began bible study.
Since that time, my JW brother killed himself in 1994 (he was 28 yrs). Prior to his death, he'd tried jumping off a freeway overpass, but was talked out of it by police. I don't remember anyone from the KH attending his funeral, or offered comfort to the family. Don't recall anyone from the KH counseling him about his severe depression. He was encouraged, however, to do more field service.
My JW sister "Rose" is suffering from stress-related premature aging, is very lonely, depressed, & is morbidly obese. "Rose" has 3 children, one of whom doesn't know who her father is. Each of "Rose's" daughters had children at 14 & 15 yrs old. "Rose" is expecting her 3rd grandchild any day now. None of her daughters ever married, and are teenagers. They've always attended meetings regularly. "Rose" lives in a 2 bedroom rental with her 3 kids, 2 grands. "Rose" was evicted from a previous 3 bedroom rental when her daugher threw a knife a another girl. "Rose" had to move in with our mother, who didn't want her there, and vice-versa. Where was the brotherly love when my sister needed a place to stay and didn't have money?
My JW brother "Burt" has severely beaten his JW wife, "Carol" for years and he's had numerous sexual affairs, none of which has gotten him disfellowshipped (he didn't exactly broadcast it to elders, tho). Many in his congregation were/are having pre-marital sex or sex outside their marriages. "Carol" left "Burt" years ago, but want their a loving relationship with him. He's threatened to kill her many times for a variety of reasons. "Burt" is VERY well adored in the KH. Go figure. "Carol" is a morphine/alcohol addict, she also smokes. "Carol" has been a JW all her life, thanks to her mother, who allowd "Carol" to be sexually abused by her babysitter (mother HAD to work). "Carol" had a daugher while unmarried, whom my brother adopted. When "Carol's" little girl was about 3-4 yrs old, "Carol" hit her so hard she knocked out her 4-5 front teeth. That didn't get her disfellowed, however. The congregation called it child discipline.
My brother "Dan" is a JW. He lives about 15 miles from all family members, yet we might hear from him once every 5-10 years. He's a great guy, sweet, kind, but emotionally wrecked and a "beer-alcoholic". "Dan" is married and has always been heterosexual Dan was brought before the elders years ago, under suspicion of being gay. He wasn't, but at that time he was in his late 20s and unmarried, living with his oldest and best friend, "Greg", who was also a JW. "Greg" left the congregation years ago and is leading a VERY heterosexual life. That experience with the elders left him emotionally scared.
My sister-n-law, "Sally" is also a JW. "Sally" has 2 small children by my late brother and had lived in her car for months. She's mentally retarded (not severely). She was thrown out of her rental home, which was owned by one of members of her congregation. She still loves going to the KH, however. I sometimes buy her groceries and bathe her children, as they tend to be on the malnourished side and often smell bad.
I left the JW when the elders brought me into a meeting to discuss fornication. Mine. They told me I could be disassociated. However, I was 21 and very much still a virgin! Actually, I managed to keep my virginity for another year after that! I'd only been kissed twice between the ages 13 to 21 . The second kiss I received from a fellow JW; I was 19 he was 20-something...and gay. "Tom" became a JW to fight his "gay-ness" and serve God. I know this man wanted very much to be heterosexual. I found out years later that he and another brother were having sex after the meetings (no wonder he only kissed me once! hahah). The brother he had the relationship with remained in good standing with the congregation. The elders who held the meeting to discuss my sexual status didn't ask me how I was doing. Actually, I was barely making ends meet, often eating fruit and bread for dinner, when i was fortunate. I'd put cardboard in my shoes to go out into field service because I couldn't afford better shoes. Was I happy? Elders never asked. I was terrified in that private meeting. I'd been soooo faithful to Jehovah. From that time on I was "watched" by the elders and others in the congregation. Rumors about me ran wild, and hurt me so bad. I didn't know it at the time, but I was VERY beautiful, but with real low self esteem. I thought I looked horrible. I later found out that I was the only single virgin sister in that congregation over the age of 18. In fact, most of the sister lost their virginity by 16 years. 'Bout a year later I left the KH, went out and got laid!!! My life got improved as I improved myself.
The remaining family members left the KH long ago. Both me and another sister left the congregatin and got a life: went to college (elders didn't allow attendance at 4-year colleges at that time) and are living and doing well. I'm married, with one child. I travel the world as one of my many hobbies, and am free to read whatever, and do just about anything I want. Life is wonderful and I'm thankful to myself for making it happen. I've learned that having faith in yourself is difficult post being a JW, but once mastered, FABULOUS!!!!! Believe in yourself, and most is possible.
