Omaha area - suicide?

by asleif_dufansdottir 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LyinEyes

    Hey Aslief, I hope i spelled that right, nice to met ya........

    You friend sounds alot like my mother , who also committed suicide. I just wrote out a long reply in a thread , about suicide, in the last few days, not sure the name of it. Someone asked about my mom and I kind of spilled all of the beans so to speak. I sooooooooooooo, sooooooooo many times, write stuff and actually go back and delete what I have written.

    I thought about taking what i wrote about my mom off, but I thought I should keep it up there, it may help someone who is depressed, or some one who is dealing with suicide, just to give a first hand account of how it affected me and still hurts deeply.

    I am sorry to hear about this pioneer sister, I can almost see her in my minds eye. No doubt she felt alone even when she had many around her, and I know from my mom's case, having everything like she did, money, looks, the elder hubby, good kids, land, houses, horses, cars, diamonds etc. she was always so sad. I think those things just numbed her pain a bit , but of course never fullfilled her.

    This is so sad to hear so many suicides.

  • Sentinel

    Ahhh, beautiful people. Why is it we tend to think that just because someone happens to be beautiful, that they have it all together "inside" and "upstairs". So, many times, it is the exact opposite. They have just been accepted by everyone, and treated special because of the way they look. That has got to do something to the mental immage they have of themselves.

    As for me, I never had to worry about that.

    I am sad to hear that a life has passed in that manner. I am familiar with suicide. She must have been in a great deal of emotional pain, and felt she had no where to turn.

  • msdreadhead

    Hi, I'm new on board (this is a bit long, but some might find it helpul to those who've lost beloved JW's in suicide)

    I'm an ex-JW, the oldest of 8 siblings, and the first to be baptized a JW over 25 years ago. I encouraged my younger siblings to join immediately after I began bible study.

    Since that time, my JW brother killed himself in 1994 (he was 28 yrs). Prior to his death, he'd tried jumping off a freeway overpass, but was talked out of it by police. I don't remember anyone from the KH attending his funeral, or offered comfort to the family. Don't recall anyone from the KH counseling him about his severe depression. He was encouraged, however, to do more field service.

    My JW sister "Rose" is suffering from stress-related premature aging, is very lonely, depressed, & is morbidly obese. "Rose" has 3 children, one of whom doesn't know who her father is. Each of "Rose's" daughters had children at 14 & 15 yrs old. "Rose" is expecting her 3rd grandchild any day now. None of her daughters ever married, and are teenagers. They've always attended meetings regularly. "Rose" lives in a 2 bedroom rental with her 3 kids, 2 grands. "Rose" was evicted from a previous 3 bedroom rental when her daugher threw a knife a another girl. "Rose" had to move in with our mother, who didn't want her there, and vice-versa. Where was the brotherly love when my sister needed a place to stay and didn't have money?

    My JW brother "Burt" has severely beaten his JW wife, "Carol" for years and he's had numerous sexual affairs, none of which has gotten him disfellowshipped (he didn't exactly broadcast it to elders, tho). Many in his congregation were/are having pre-marital sex or sex outside their marriages. "Carol" left "Burt" years ago, but want their a loving relationship with him. He's threatened to kill her many times for a variety of reasons. "Burt" is VERY well adored in the KH. Go figure. "Carol" is a morphine/alcohol addict, she also smokes. "Carol" has been a JW all her life, thanks to her mother, who allowd "Carol" to be sexually abused by her babysitter (mother HAD to work). "Carol" had a daugher while unmarried, whom my brother adopted. When "Carol's" little girl was about 3-4 yrs old, "Carol" hit her so hard she knocked out her 4-5 front teeth. That didn't get her disfellowed, however. The congregation called it child discipline.

    My brother "Dan" is a JW. He lives about 15 miles from all family members, yet we might hear from him once every 5-10 years. He's a great guy, sweet, kind, but emotionally wrecked and a "beer-alcoholic". "Dan" is married and has always been heterosexual Dan was brought before the elders years ago, under suspicion of being gay. He wasn't, but at that time he was in his late 20s and unmarried, living with his oldest and best friend, "Greg", who was also a JW. "Greg" left the congregation years ago and is leading a VERY heterosexual life. That experience with the elders left him emotionally scared.

    My sister-n-law, "Sally" is also a JW. "Sally" has 2 small children by my late brother and had lived in her car for months. She's mentally retarded (not severely). She was thrown out of her rental home, which was owned by one of members of her congregation. She still loves going to the KH, however. I sometimes buy her groceries and bathe her children, as they tend to be on the malnourished side and often smell bad.

    I left the JW when the elders brought me into a meeting to discuss fornication. Mine. They told me I could be disassociated. However, I was 21 and very much still a virgin! Actually, I managed to keep my virginity for another year after that! I'd only been kissed twice between the ages 13 to 21 . The second kiss I received from a fellow JW; I was 19 he was 20-something...and gay. "Tom" became a JW to fight his "gay-ness" and serve God. I know this man wanted very much to be heterosexual. I found out years later that he and another brother were having sex after the meetings (no wonder he only kissed me once! hahah). The brother he had the relationship with remained in good standing with the congregation. The elders who held the meeting to discuss my sexual status didn't ask me how I was doing. Actually, I was barely making ends meet, often eating fruit and bread for dinner, when i was fortunate. I'd put cardboard in my shoes to go out into field service because I couldn't afford better shoes. Was I happy? Elders never asked. I was terrified in that private meeting. I'd been soooo faithful to Jehovah. From that time on I was "watched" by the elders and others in the congregation. Rumors about me ran wild, and hurt me so bad. I didn't know it at the time, but I was VERY beautiful, but with real low self esteem. I thought I looked horrible. I later found out that I was the only single virgin sister in that congregation over the age of 18. In fact, most of the sister lost their virginity by 16 years. 'Bout a year later I left the KH, went out and got laid!!! My life got improved as I improved myself.

    The remaining family members left the KH long ago. Both me and another sister left the congregatin and got a life: went to college (elders didn't allow attendance at 4-year colleges at that time) and are living and doing well. I'm married, with one child. I travel the world as one of my many hobbies, and am free to read whatever, and do just about anything I want. Life is wonderful and I'm thankful to myself for making it happen. I've learned that having faith in yourself is difficult post being a JW, but once mastered, FABULOUS!!!!! Believe in yourself, and most is possible.

  • bikerchic

    It really saddens me to hear about suicide especially among "Jehovah's happy people". That statement seems like an oximoron if I've ever heard one! I'm very touched about that sister's story, it seems like such a waste no matter what religion you are in.

    BTW welcome msdreadhead! You've had a very interesting life as a JW also, glad you are out and found a life! Hope to hear more from you.


  • nowisee

    it is amazing how many here have been touched by suicide in one way or another. a sibling of mine also committed suicide - drug overdose. i have no magic words of wisdom. life is difficult at times -- but most situations are temporary. suicide is permanent. it is so sad when someone cannot find the will to hang on until tomorrow.

    msdreadhead - welcome to the forum. it seems that you will have many stories to tell. i am glad that you have risen above all of the jw and family craziness around you and that you have a happy life.

    best wishes, nowisee

  • LyinEyes

    Hello and welcome,Msdreadhead,,,,,,,,, I adore you name.

    I was reading your story and was quiet sad reading what your family went thru, and I felt so sad when you told of your dinners , and carboard in your shoes. I always felt bad for many pioneers trying to make ends barely meet , just trying to do what they felt they had to do , to please Jehovah.

    My husband pioneered for awhile , and even after our first son was born , but after that we both had to work but always wanted to pioneer again someday.

    We often had the pioneers over for dinner and helped out in anyway we could, letting them use the washer , etc.

    I am glad the way you told your story , how things had really turned around for you and you now are a happy person.

    It is sad to know of the suicides in the organization, personally I know of 6 suicides just in my circuit.

    My mother's sister's son, shot himself in the head 2 years ago , so I have seen the ugly side of suicide many times, and it is something that leave you with so many unanswered questions , it is hard to ever move on from it the way you would other kinds of death,,,,,,,,,it seems so much more tragic at least to me anyway.

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