I can't just walk away, I need to keep reinforcing what I did was right (Leaving the org)

by pleaseresearch 10 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  pleaseresearch

  When I speak to my mum about things, she says why do you keep looking on the internet and news etc... why don't you just live your life and forget what you learned growing up.

  Maybe I was so so indoctrinated as a child that even though I have woken up and learnt ttatt, I still need to keep up to date with new findings from ex and fellow brothers and sisters. Listening to their testimony about why they left.

  This was to me and all of you I'm sure, the truth. So to finally wake up is absolutely massive. That's why I keep digging and wanting to learn, to cement that leaving was the right thing to do. I know it was, that's clear, but being in "the truth" my mind was so closed.
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  Hadriel

  Completely normal almost expected. Although selling myself is no longer needed being aware simply helps me defend my position.

  Additionally the injustice of it all. The control and the ruining of lives and even theft of lives is so profound you can't help but want to see this injustice stopped. Why? Because unlike they are portrayed those that have left the organization generally care about those still in. If you are remotely decent you can't help but want to free them from these chains of injustice and control.

  That said and by the day I become less and less consumed by it all. It has gone from outrage to sheer disgust to it's just so sad.
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  dubstepped

  Why don't you just forget it and move on is a very ignorant recommendation. It sounds nice, but you can't just put a cult that you were a part of down like it never existed. An illustration that I like is that leaving a cult is like putting a photo on your computer in the recycle bin and deleting it. That photo isn't no longer there. It will be written over, bit by bit, over a long time, and is easily recoverable. It never really goes away.

  Or think of any childhood abuse. You will have those scars with you the rest of your life. They don't just magically disappear.

  We're also hurt and have no real recourse against the Borg. It forever remains unfinished business on some level.

  The fact that it is harder for some to walk away shows that some took it more serious. I certainly took "the truth" very seriously and tried so hard to make it work for years, even through my doubts. So a person that wanted it so badly can't just walk away like it never happened. Grief takes time and is a process, and I can no more just forget about this than I can loved ones that I lost in death or that are still in the organization.
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  OneEyedJoe

  I suspect it's a bit like the drive some have to meet their biological parents when they learn they're adopted. So much of who we are has come from the cult influence and, at least for me, there's a drive to understand it so that hopefully I can learn something about myself.
  Of course there's also a human need to find understanding from others and it's hard to find someone that can relate to being in a cult anywhere else. And I think most that leave have a natural desire to help others that have been through the same challenge. I've found so much support from this community that I want to repay that where I can.
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  Finkelstein

  I know it was, that's clear, but being in "the truth" my mind was so closed.

  This is due to the pressing guilt and fear mental indoctrination that the WTS leaders use to control people which ends up supporting them and their self supporting lifestyle.

  Of course the WTS wasn't or isn't the truth in spite of some socially appealing behavior directions but most religious beliefs have those structured within themselves..

  Keep learning TTATT leaning about ancient mythology and why the ancients were compelled to say and do the things they did in creating their god(s).
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  Divergent

  I can absolutely relate to how you feel. These are my reasons for being active on this forum:

  1. To keep up to date on all the crazy stuff that is going on

  2. Social aspect - being in a community of individuals who have something in common

  3. An avenue for me to express my feelings

  4. To encourage & support others

  5. Reinforces my conviction that NOT being a JW is the best way to live!

  6. Makes me thankful. Thankful that I am no longer any part of this cult!

  7. I am on the lookout for people who I know. Unfortunately, haven't found any so far. Wake up, people!
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  Vidiot

  You can take the boy out of the WT, but it's a little harder to take the WT out of the boy.

  x

  This is a good place to come for booster shots, though.
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  Phizzy

  From time to time Mrs Phizzy says something similar to me, along the lines of " Why can't you just leave it alone ? why do you have to keep on about it ?"

  Which is fair comment from her, she seems to have no real interest in what is going on in the Strange Cult World of JW.

  My reasons are the same as listed by "Divergent" above, plus one more, I like to be forearmed if I ever speak to JW's, and this Site gives me the ammunition.

  I look back to my early days of leaving, and I remember encounters with JW's where I did not say the kind of thing I would say now, and I regret I was not capable at the time.

  Now, they get no easy let off.
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  FayeDunaway

  PR, I think this is all still kind of new for you. Even if you know the truth about the truth, it takes 2 or 3 years for the FOG to lift. Especially the 'fear' and 'guilt.' Some people who never heed the advice of your alias, and don't do the research, keep having FOG loom over them for DECADES. So be happy you have done the research, and keep coming here and doing research until you have conquered your FOG. It WILL lift, the more research you do. Because the so called 'truth' doesn't stand up to research, actually, research just makes 'the truth' look darned silly, and fear and guilt quickly dissipates when you see the full silliness. Then, when the FOG lifts, you might want to keep coming here for other reasons, but it will feel different. Your perspective on the religion will become clearer with time. You can offer support to people who are desperate and alone. You can be one of us who shows them yes, there is life after the Borg. And it's far happier!!
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  Ucantnome

  This was to me and all of you I'm sure, the truth. So to finally wake up is absolutely massive.

  The Truth it was more than a belief it was my faith.

  That's why I keep digging

  Maybe that's why I do.