How do you faders/inactive handle being asked to the memorial by family?
Ask what day is on then say you have plans.
If I get a paper invite, I'll handle it the same way that 99.99999% of people do - toss it into the trash without looking at it.
Does anyone go just on this day to keep peace?
Such a boring meeting. You've been to one, you've been to them all.
Honestly just tell whomever is asking that your going to a different one with an old friend. Yes it's a lie but why waste a perfectly good night at the most boring night of the year?
I am inactive (faded) for more than 22 years and have RARELY been invited. In fact, I don't think I've ever actually been invited.
There is only one occasion that I can remember and that was just an inquiry from my non-baptized, severely inactive brother and his 'baptized-but-very-inactive' (now divorced) spouse. For them, I went more to support them in a new territory. Just the one time.
I think if I was ever to be invited again by an active witness, my response would likely depend on my current relationship with them. If they are someone I've had good life experiences with, I would probably smile and diplomatically say something along the lines of, "Thank you. I probably won't attend, but thank you for thinking of me." and smile again.
THEN, I would quickly make plans for something FUN that evening.
Just because I can~!!!
I too have been faded for a good few years, I have had the odd invite shoved through my letterbox, I have never been invited by JW family, especially since I pointed out that the JW Org cannot even get the date right
I did once get a personal invite from an elderly JW lady from my old Congo. who was mainly motivated by the desire to make my old JW mom feel better. She actually said so, that my mom would love it if I showed up.
Emotional blackmail yes, but I thanked her for her kind thought, and of course, there was no way I could attend.
To do so would have convinced my old mom that I really still believed in the nonsense, and all the others there too. Attendance by a Fader like me reinforces their belief that they do have the truth, no way could I ever do that.
Just say " That is so kind of you to invite me, I shall certainly think about it"
That doesn't mean you will actually go of course. If pressed, repeat the above.
Think about this. How do witnesses view the "once a year" attendees at the memorial anyway??
We KNOW the types of comments passed about such ones that only show up at memorial time. The judgements, gossip and condescension...
So why show up when they don't even care about you anyway?
"No thanks, I have to re-arrange my sock drawer that evening."