Stuck in a never-ending rut

by somebody 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sprocket

    I think that you register a problem bigger than just looking for a job. But to gophers point, get out and volunteer. There are numerous not-for-profit organizations out there just looking for people to lend a hand.

    When I left the @%#$ organization 5 years ago, I sat there looking around and found I had almost no friends in sight. It is a tactic the society uses very well to its advantage: "If we keep them isolated from the rest of society, it makes it tough for them to leave". They make you so part of their insolated community, I mean, where are you going to go?

    I have joined a number of organizations and volunteer where I can. In all honesty, I have met a great many people that I can call frends, that I have used for business opportunities and vis-versa, as a result. I could use dozens and dozens of names for references and feel comfortable the tesstimonials would be excellent. These people I find more sincere and can engage in deeper conversations than the superficial ones I used to have while under the societies spell. (God, I used to hate having people over and going through the same crap, "How did you get the truth?" "Oh, I heard this great field services experience..." who cares!)

    I run my own software company. It is global, and I deal with a lot of people in Europe and North America. I see a great number of resumes. I believe education is tablestakes. And, if you were in the so-called Truth a long time ago where continuing edcuation was frowned on, I submit to youy to go and enroll somewhere. Even if you haven't graduated, it looks good. The other thing that I look for is drive and initiative. Belonging to organizations or associations outside of work tells me a lot about the persons's desire, interest, commitment and character.

    Volunteer for anything....just not for the JW's:-)))

  • Sentinel

    Oh my gosh, what memories this brought back. Yes, absolutely. This happened to me more than once, that's for sure. What an odd feeling, not being able to think of several people that you know and know you, and would be willing to speak positively about you and give a good reference. It's like the pencil or pen begins to slip through your fingers as you access your situation.........

    When I was just getting out of the borg, and struggling to find myself, that's how I felt, that I was all alone in the world, with this giant weight sitting on my shoulders. Gradually, I began to work on that "list", and it has greatly improved over the years. It will for you as well.

  • Charmed

    I have never had this problem with references, but I have had the problem of having no friends and feeling all alone. Sometimes, I even think that although there are people that I could become friends with, I just don't even have the social skills to do it. I'm working on this though because I think half of it is in my head. Thank goodness I have my husband to be my best friend and thank goodness we all have each other on this board!

  • beckyboop

    Hiya Somebody!!! Hey, you've got a friend right here in Rhode Island who'll vouch for you--email me if you need my home and cell phone numbers again. I can understand how scared you feel, but you're not alone! Several have already volunteered to be a reference, and I will too.

    I'm looking forward to seeing you soon--and I'd love to get together before the apostafest if possible.


  • rocketman

    I guess that's one good thing about sticking w the jws - you have an active reference list.

    somebody, I hope you can find a job, and yes, it gets frustrating filling out applications.

  • Granny Linda
    Granny Linda

    Ah, the job search. <<<shudder>>>

    Well I'm getting too old - Period! Especially an old woman with attitude!!

    I've known for sometime I'm "unemployable" because I'm not going to play some silly ass game with any potential employer for sake of a "job." Gimme a break,eh. I've worked, like many others, since I was quite young and I'll be damned if some moron who plays suck-butt for sake of their job is going to get far with company rhetoric - at least with me.

    When we lived in Selma, Alabama, I was shocked when filling out a Shoney's Restaurant application that they reserve the "right" to run a credit check on you. OMG...that went over with me like a lead balloon. Needless to say I didn't complete their 'big brother' form. The day my credit rating has anything legitimate to do with the quality of my work is the day I've caved into this NWO bullshit. They can kiss my a$$.

    One thing I did learn early on is that the seemingly mundane tasks we perform each day amounts to a lot of different experience that can be applied on the job search. Somehow we often think that running a home hasn't prepared us for the job market...but when we dig deep there's much too draw upon.

    If someone acted stupid with me because I was able to be a stay-at-home mom I'd probably begin a long sentence of "JOBS" that encompasses. Things certainly have changed since my day when one was given opportunity to get on the job training. But then it's all apart of this New System of Things that benefit corporations - not the employee. enough said.


  • somebody

    Thank you ALL for your responses, offers, and thoughts.

    ((((((((((((Charmed)))))))))))) I understand you completely.

    I've taken time to really think about everything said here.

    I guess it is more than just the lack of references that was bothering me so. Everything combined made for one bad day!

    I've been thinking about all that you've all said and I think I will volunteer for awhile. That is something I'd feel comfortable doing even outside of paid work. So it's can do no harm.

    Thank you for all who offered to be references for me too. I'm going to take you up on it. And I truly am appreciative.



  • little witch
    little witch


    I just went through this, literally moments ago!!!! uhhg!

    we all have so much in common here, no joke.

    I have been out for many years, and have ''kept to myself'' for a long time, then I go to fill out an app

    and duh!!!

    Also, the problem of being a wife and mom to four kids for the past 18 years, I'm real impressive, huh?

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