...ah the deplorable scripted JW sendoff ...
Mom (76) was an Anglican and had recently moved her little business to a new town where she hadn't attended church much in her final two years. I had been a Dub for 14 years with funerals having become just dreary WT self-promotion to a captive audience.
As Executrix, Sis arranged for the young local vicar to handle Moms funeral.
That young fellow thoroughly and reverently interviewed Sis to give him a perspective from which he then hand-crafted the finest eulogy I had ever heard!
He reminded those present of what a fine person had graced our lives. Though small, matronly and quiet, Mom was a force to be reckoned. The vicar mentioned with humour how her humble financial circumstances never deflected her dedication to complete honesty, how her modest education and fascination with history had lead her into the antiques business, and the zeal and integrity with which she bought and sold beautiful wonders from a time when quality, beauty and utility were not mutually exclusive.
I´ve since marvelled how the young clergyman laboured to give a woman he scarcely knew the respect of having her qualities and history so faithfully remembered before her friends and family.
Princess Dianas funeral was pretty good ´by comparison, (but Elton John helped). I will be forever grateful to that accommodating, enthusiastic young vicar from a small town.
Miss you Mom and Dad
I have given JW funeral talks. In fact I had to stand my ground and REFUSE a witness family from saying anything about their deceased love one!. It was ridiculous! Me, and overrighteous late 20's speaker telling the family that "It was not Jehovah's arrangement to allow Eulogys to take place! (If only I could have my time back and say sorry to them!)
I have been to many other JW funerals.
I have never truly cried or wept at a funeral, as this was not supposed to happen to us because we had the "kingdom hope", and were to be "dignified".
I went to a relative's funeral though as a 40 year old, and it was not the JW scripted event, and I LOST it crying! They played popular music that the deceased enjoyed, and people gave heartfelt comments. It was the most therapeutic thing ever! I truly felt like I had grieved in a healthy way!
"...we had the kingdom hope and were to be 'dignified'..."
Which is why I hate that word now. It's a shut down word, a silencing word, a feeling-shaming word. A word meant to shame someone into shutting up.
"Dignified" in JWspeak meant : you are not allowed unapproved and unchecked thoughts, feelings and words.
In ex-jw speak it means : you should never ever ever offend or "attack" the delicate snowflake JW with regular human questions and words.
Now, I prefer to leave the controlling of other people's thoughts words and emotions to groups like WT and maybe SJWs.
I certainly hope no one was offended or embarrassed by Jesus' 'undignified' behavior --
"Jesus wept." (John 11:35 KJV)
Hell yeah bennyk. Jesus was undignified all over the damn place. Him with his bitches and his tax collector buddies and overturning the money tables in the temple and shit. Whooo that boy was indignified af. Lol.
About the OP, what I experienced with the JWs is that they use funerals and people's loss as a way to preach, proselytize and push their agenda. I attended quite a few JW funerals and all of them were about preaching to non-JW relatives about the "opportunity" of seeing their loved ones again and all that paradise nonsense.
I never experienced any JW trying to provide true comfort to the loved ones of the diseased person, not even acknowledging the pain and loss of them. It's all about them seizing the opportunity to talk about their resurrection, and their paradise, and living forever and you know the rest.
To me, the most LAME, thoughtless, lazy, insulting part of 99% of JW Memorial talks (99% because the 2 times I gave the talk I didn't) was read the fucking obituary at the beginning. OMG that always infuriated me!!!
I know who survived them, they are sitting in the front of the Hall! What do I care about the day they were born (now is not the birthday time) and I know when they died!