Eulogies

by redundantcartworker 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • redundantcartworker
    redundantcartworker

    I recently attended a non JW funeral at a local church. During the service, a couple of friends/relatives of the deceased eloquently spoke for a few minutes about the deceased with some of their fond memories and gave heartfelt, respectful tributes.

    Would I ( a non JW) be given a few minutes to speak at either of my JW parents funerals at the Kingdom hall ?

    I guess I already know the answer, but if the answer is "no", then why not and how would they hide the heartlessness of refusing ?

  • pale.emperor
    pale.emperor

    Not at the KH, but here in England at least we have another little eulogy at the crematorium where anyone who wants to can get up and speak.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Redundantcartworker (What a good name!) I really do think that kh funerals bring out the very worst in the JW religion. How would they hide their refusal? They would probably claim that the focus of the funeral is the hope the deceased enjoyed. . . in other words it's just to promote themselves.

    Their true heartlessness is the result of the leadership never trusting any creative or personalised expressions given by individuals in the congregations.

    I think it boils down to simply a matter of the GB needing to maintain total control at any cost, even at the cost of hurting individual's feelings. To permit or encourage private viewpoints would create heresy and splintering, the two most dreaded threats to a high control religion. Everything they do is geared to maintaining their iron grip on members' minds and activities and that means conform or be punished.

  • ttdtt
    ttdtt

    Here is the outline if you want to see.

    And the type of talk depends GREATLY on the speaker.

    I gave a few and they were NOT the standard JW memorial talk.
    I thought it was insulting to make it a recruitment talk.

    Read the NOTE on the end - this was new - before this any eulogizing was a NO NO.

    REMARKS REGARDING THE DECEASED

    [Use any that apply and are appropriate.]

    Give details regarding age, birth, when married, surviving family, and so forth

    Share the dedication record of the deceased, including privileges of service

    Highlight exemplary qualities displayed by the deceased (Ec 7:1)

    WE NEED COMFORT AT TIMES OF LOSS

    Grief is a normal reaction to the loss of a loved one (Ge 23:2; 37:34, 35)

    When Lazarus died, Jesus showed sympathy and provided comfort for those grieving (Joh 11:23-26, 33-35)

    Jehovah God has tender feelings for those who grieve and promises to comfort them (Ps 34:18; 147:3)

    THE BIBLE GIVES A HOPE FOR THE DEAD

    Jehovah is the God of wisdom, justice, love, and power

    Death was not part of his original purpose for mankind

    Death is the result of Adam’s disobedience (Ge 2:7, 15-17; 3:19)

    All of Adam’s descendants have inherited death (Ro 5:12)

    God has provided a hope that is sure to be realized (Isa 55:10, 11; Re 21:4)

    The Bible clearly tells us the condition of the dead

    The soul is mortal (Eze 18:4, 20)

    The dead are unconscious (Ps 146:4; Ec 9:5, 10)

    The Bible gives hope that millions who have died will live again

    The resurrection hope is made possible by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ (Mt 20:28)

    Christ’s resurrection provides a guarantee (1Co 15:22, 23)

    God has appointed Jesus to raise the dead (Joh 5:25, 28, 29)

    Anointed Christians are resurrected to heavenly life (1Co 15:51-54; Re 20:4, 6)

    Jesus’ “other sheep” will be resurrected to life in the earthly Paradise (Joh 10:16; Lu 23:43)

    Those who lived and died without an opportunity to understand and apply Bible truth also have the

    prospect of a resurrection (Ac 24:15)

    HOW WE CAN BENEFIT FROM BEING HERE

    A funeral reminds us of the brevity and uncertainty of life (Ec 9:11)

    The reality of death makes us think about how we are using our life (Ps 90:12)

    By the way we live, we can make “a good name” with Jehovah God (Ec 7:1-4)

    Jesus said for us to store up treasures in heaven (Mt 6:19-21)

    By our zealous works and godly conduct, we share in sanctifying Jehovah’s name (Pr 27:11)

    The resurrection hope provides an incentive to learn and do God’s will (1Co 15:58; 1Ti 2:3, 4)

    Those who do so can be certain that they will soon see their resurrected loved ones again

    We should use this occasion and the days ahead to comfort one another (1Th 5:11)

    As fellow believers, we can remind one another of our sure hope and provide emotional support (Pr 17:17)

    We prayerfully look to Jehovah to give needed strength until he provides permanent relief (Ps 9:9, 10)

    [Note: Opening with prayer is optional. The purpose of the talk is to uphold Jehovah as a God of love and mercy and at the same time bring comfort to the bereaved. Give a fine witness concerning the truth, but also make your talk warm and personal. Not all points and scriptures need to be used. Adapt the material to match the circumstances of the deceased and the needs of grieving ones. While not overpraising the deceased, you may use events from his life throughout the talk to show how those in attendance can benefit from his example. Use good balance in this regard. You may choose to arrange a well-rehearsed interview with a brother in good standing who knew the deceased well. Any use of humor should be moderate. The dignity of the occasion should be preserved. The talk need not exceed 30 minutes. Do not invite the audience to make expressions about the deceased, as this could introduce inappropriate or unscriptural elements into the program. Use of such songs as Nos. 19, 111, or 134 is optional to open or close the program or both. A brief prayer at the close is fitting. When arrangements are made to go to the grave, it is good to consider quit briefly our Kingdom hope, reading one or two scriptures, such as Job 14:14, 15 and 1 Corinthians 15:54b-57.

    This service may also be closed with prayer, thanking Jehovah for the resurrection hope.]

    FUNERAL DISCOURSE

    S-32-E 2/16

    2016 Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania

  • AverageJoe1
    AverageJoe1

    @Pale Emperor

    Not at the KH, but here in England at least we have another little eulogy at the crematorium where anyone who wants to can get up and speak.

    I've already told my wife that if she dies before me then I will NEVER have a talk given in a KH. The purpose of a funeral should be to recall moments and honour the deceased, NOT give a public talk promoting JW ideals.

    I've always preferred the crematorium talks for that very reason. Plus I asked my wife to promise me that if I die before her, then she will see to it that I don't get a recruitment talk given in a KH either nor in any other place. I just want people to remember the good times we all shared together then on to the wake/party to celebrate life!

  • Miss Worldly
    Miss Worldly
    The Bible gives hope that millions who have died will live again
    Christ’s resurrection provides a guarantee (1Co 15:22, 23)

    ttdtt - JW hypocrisy at its best?

  • flipper
    flipper

    I went to a funeral years ago of a close friend who had become inactive, stopped attending meetings. The elders wouldn't allow his family to have a kingdom hall funeral - so his non-JW family had his funeral at a neutral building where they have services for funerals and about 10 different people took turns ; including myself getting up in front of the crowd ( probably 200 people about half JW's / half non-JW's ) speaking about my friend who had died and remembering his humor and good qualities .

    There were a fair number of elders in the room including the ones who wouldn't allow his funeral at a kingdom hall . My friend had told me before he died that he was upset that those same elders never took the time to pay attention or call on his older teenage kids or take an interest in them. So in my eulogy - I made sure to reference that point by saying " before my friend died he was concerned that some people here -elders here were not paying enough attention to his dear two children. " I continued, " The best way we can honor and remember our friend is by making sure we pay attention to them now or continue to see how they are doing. "

    But it was a great atmosphere of various folks giving out warm memories of my friend and talking about humorous times. If the WT Society would stop being so emotionally constipated and make funerals more about the person who died instead of marketing WT information- these funerals would be much more enjoyable, or at least bearable. But the WT Society is a cold hearted organization - won't ever happen. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • ShirleyW
    ShirleyW

    Great move Flipper, I wonder if they actually knew they were the ones being called since they can be so pompous and smug at the same time.

  • flipper
    flipper

    Thanks Shirley. It's hard to know if these elders got the message- but you could have heard a pin drop in the audience. I felt a strange sense of empowerment being able to say something in this eulogy in a neutral building- that I couldn't have said inside a kingdom hall . lol. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • sir82
    sir82

    I guess I already know the answer, but if the answer is "no", then why not

    "We're just following theocratic direction, brother."

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